Jasper is a series of quests featuring Jasper Beardly.
Quests[]
| Quest | Requirements | Time | Reward |
|---|---|---|---|
| That's A Paddlin! | Make Jasper Go Paddling | 4h |  100 10
|
| Springfield's Got Talent! | Make Jasper Practice Lollipop Song | 60m | 10010
|
| The Prune Lagoon | Make Jasper Take Incorrect Medication | 12h | 10010
|
| Back to the Freezer | Make Jasper Self-Freeze at the Kwik-E-Mart | 24h | 10010
|
| Retirement | Make Jasper Relax in the Retirement Home | 8h | 20020
|
Dialogue[]
That's A Paddlin![]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
"Hey Jasper, how's it hanging?" |
|
"At my age, no matter what "it" is, it's hanging low." |
|
|
"Blech. Rhetorical question, dude." |
|
|
"You sassing me, boy? You better believe that's a paddlin'! |
Springfield's Got Talent![]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"Ding! Medication time!" |
|
|
"Now, was I supposed to take the red pill or the blue pill? Maybe the purple suppository?" |
|
|
"Better safe than sorry. I'll just take 'em all." |
|
|
"..." |
|
"Uh-oh..." |
The Prune Lagoon[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"I've never felt so alive!" |
|
|
"Which, at my age, is a sure sign of imminent death." |
|
|
"It's okay, Jasper, old fella, just got to get the right dose and you'll be back in the saddle again." |
|
|
"The buildings are so... bright... and colorful..." |
Back to the Freezer[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"When the only joy you got left is taking dangerous drug cocktails, it's time to end it all." |
|
"Don't do it, Jasper! Not before bequeathing your dangerous drug cocktails to me!" |
|
|
"Too late! I'm going back in that nice Indian fellas' freezer." |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
*shiver* |
|
|
"I thawed out. Is this... the future?" |
|
"Please stand away from the sale item rack. Pork rinds are on special today." |
|
|
"It's just like I always imagine it would be." |
Retirement[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
"Jasper, you old buzzard, where do you think you're going?" |
|
|
"Cram it, Abe! Can't you see I'm living in the far-distant future? You've been dead for years, idiot!" |
|
|
"You keep acting this way, they'll lock you up! Now let's get back to the Retirement Castle. It's almost time for lock-up!" |
|
|
"Don't get your knickers in a knot. If I'm going in a home, it'll be the one of my choosing!" |
Trivia[]
- As we can easily tell, the dialogue for "Springfield's Got Talent" and "The Prune Lagon" are messed up.