Jasper is a series of quests featuring Jasper Beardly.
Quests[]
Quest
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Requirements
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Time
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Reward
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That's A Paddlin!
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Make Jasper Go Paddling
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4h
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100 10
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Springfield's Got Talent!
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Make Jasper Practice Lollipop Song
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60m
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100 10
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The Prune Lagoon
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Make Jasper Take Incorrect Medication
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12h
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100 10
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Back to the Freezer
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Make Jasper Self-Freeze at the Kwik-E-Mart
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24h
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100 10
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Retirement
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Make Jasper Relax in the Retirement Home
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8h
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200 20
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Dialogue[]
That's A Paddlin![]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Hey Jasper, how's it hanging?"
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"At my age, no matter what "it" is, it's hanging low."
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"Blech. Rhetorical question, dude."
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"You sassing me, boy? You better believe that's a paddlin'!
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Springfield's Got Talent![]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Ding! Medication time!"
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"Now, was I supposed to take the red pill or the blue pill? Maybe the purple suppository?"
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"Better safe than sorry. I'll just take 'em all."
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"..."
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"Uh-oh..."
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The Prune Lagoon[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"I've never felt so alive!"
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"Which, at my age, is a sure sign of imminent death."
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"It's okay, Jasper, old fella, just got to get the right dose and you'll be back in the saddle again."
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"The buildings are so... bright... and colorful..."
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Back to the Freezer[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"When the only joy you got left is taking dangerous drug cocktails, it's time to end it all."
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"Don't do it, Jasper! Not before bequeathing your dangerous drug cocktails to me!"
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"Too late! I'm going back in that nice Indian fellas' freezer."
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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*shiver*
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"I thawed out. Is this... the future?"
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"Please stand away from the sale item rack. Pork rinds are on special today."
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"It's just like I always imagine it would be."
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Retirement[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Jasper, you old buzzard, where do you think you're going?"
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"Cram it, Abe! Can't you see I'm living in the far-distant future? You've been dead for years, idiot!"
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"You keep acting this way, they'll lock you up! Now let's get back to the Retirement Castle. It's almost time for lock-up!"
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"Don't get your knickers in a knot. If I'm going in a home, it'll be the one of my choosing!"
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Trivia[]
- As we can easily tell, the dialogue for "Springfield's Got Talent" and "The Prune Lagon" are messed up.
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Promotionals |
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Regular Quest · Premium Quest | | 2012 | |
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| 2013 | |
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| 2014 | |
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| 2015 | |
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| 2016 | |
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