Holy War Throwdown, is a premium side questline that was released on October 31, 2023, for the Treehouse of Horror XXXIV Event. It requires the premium character, MMA Jesus.
Quests[]
| Quest | Requirements | Time | Reward | Triggered By |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 1 | Make MMA Jesus Train and Bless Make Jesus Christ Sleep In* |
4h 4h |
 100  10
|
MMA Jesus |
| Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 2 | Make MMA Jesus Help Out at Church Make Jesus Christ Sulk in the Cry Room* |
4h 4h |
100 10
|
MMA Jesus |
| Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 3 | Make MMA Jesus Train and Bless Some More Make Jesus Christ Watch MMA Videos to "Train"* |
4h 4h |
100 10
|
MMA Jesus |
| Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 4 | Make MMA Jesus Have a Holy War Throwdown | 4h | 200 20
|
MMA Jesus |
*Only appears if the player has Jesus Christ.
Dialogue[]
Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 1[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| File:MMA Jesus Happy Icon.png | What a beautiful sunrise! Time to get up and make a difference. |
|
Uggh. What's the point of being the Son of God if you can't sleep in? |
| File:MMA Jesus Confused Icon.png | Don't you have a full day of saving people? |
|
You go for me. I'm working on a vicious water-to-wine hangover here. |
| File:MMA Jesus Happy Icon.png | Great idea! I can train AND bless sinners! |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | Good morning, Marge! You look as lovely as your roses today. |
|
Thank you, MMA Jesus! |
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | Martin! Don't forget those wrestling moves I taught you for the bullies. |
|
Merci beaucoup, MMA Jesus! You've taken me from half nelson to a full Nelson Muntz! |
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | Blessed Ned Flanders! Still turning the other cheek? |
|
Turned it so many times I'm prayin' for more cheeks, MMA Jesus! |
|
Mr. Flanders, you're okay with a mixed martial fighter as your lord? |
|
|
The doctrinal conflict in having a violent Jesus is a little confusing, but who better to put the devil in a choke hold until he cries "uncle"?! |
Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 2[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
You guys are renovating the church? What was wrong with the old church? |
|
Oh wow...hey old Jesus... Didn't think you'd be here. |
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | Helen, where can I throw this lame, old Jesus junk–Oops! AWK-ward. |
|
|
You're throwing me out? Just like that?! |
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | No problem. There are plenty of other churches in Springfield. |
|
No, sorry. We're it for houses of the Lord. |
Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 3[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
I'm not going to stand for being the "lame" Jesus because of some ripped Jesus-come-lately version of me! |
|
|
I'll train to beat you in the octagon! There's a biceps and "six-pack" in me somewhere! |
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | People don't bow down to me because I'm the toughest savior in the universe, they do it because I'm nice. |
| File:MMA Jesus Annoyed Icon.png | Besides, you created the MMA Me because you were too lazy to do the work! |
|
|
That's it! Start the Rocky training music! It. Is. On! |
|
I'm so confused. Which Jesus do I root for? |
Holy War Throwdown, Pt. 4[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| File:MMA Jesus Confused Icon.png | You don't look like you trained at all. |
|
Don't have to. As the party issuing the challenge, I choose the arena of combat! |
| File:MMA Jesus Annoyed Icon.png | Fine, doughy-Jesus. So where are we doing this? |
|
|
Right here at this swimming pool! I can walk on water, so I can't lose. HA! |
| File:MMA Jesus Annoyed Icon.png | Dude, I'm also Jesus. I can walk on water too. |
|
Ah, sh*#! |
| File:MMA Jesus Confused Icon.png | Uh, Jesus...you mean "shoot," right? |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
*taps out* I give! Uncle! Virgin Mary! Whatever! |
| File:MMA Jesus Annoyed Icon.png | Come on, man. I'm only holding onto your robe. |
|
|
But the material scratches! |
| File:MMA Jesus Icon.png | How about you be the milquetoast Jesus who gets his feet washed by sinners and appears on random tortillas, and I'll handle all the amazing miracles. |
|
|
I'd be good with that. |