Higher Class of Politics
May 28, 2015
Higher Class of Politics is the main questline for the Level 53 content update that was released on May 28, 2015.
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 1
100, 10 Unlock: Mrs. Quimby
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 2
Make Mrs. Quimby Run City Government
Make Quimby 'Investigate' the Cyber-Attack
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 3
Pool Upgrade Pool Make Mrs. Quimby Throw a Fundraiser Make Springfield Elite Attend Fundraiser (x5)
- 6h 6h
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 4
Make Mrs. Quimby Get Creative With City Finance Records
Make Quimby 'Earmark' City Funds
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 5
Make Mrs. Quimby Monitor A Task Force
Make Wiggum Lead a Task Force
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 6
Make Mrs. Quimby Go Shopping
Make Wiggum Lounge Around In Town Hall Make Database Check Server Logs
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 7
Make Mrs. Quimby Lead an Angry Mob
Make Springfield Elite Join an Angry Mob (x3)
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 1 [ edit | edit source ]
"Mayor Quimby, do you have any comment on your breaking scandal?"
"You’re, ah, going to have to be more specific."
"Racy photos of you with Miss Springfield. At least we know where you stand on Proposition Double D."
"What? How did you get those photos?"
"Thanks to top notch investigative reporting. Also, they were on the front page of the town's trashiest gossip site, ‘SMZ'."
"Oh no, that website is Martha's book club's book this month!"
"Time to go into damage control mode. Step one, buy her forgiveness. Step two, stop saying all this aloud in front of a reporter."
"Joseph Quimby, you promised me that you'd try to probably never have another sex scandal if at all possible. You gave me your word!"
"Er, ah, darling, that’s clearly a Photoshop job. Must be revenge from one of my old lovers or interns or intern lovers."
"I'll stop talking now."
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 2 [ edit | edit source ]
"First those pictures of you with Miss Springfield appear online, and now all my emails to my pet psychic. I can't have people knowing I get advice from a dog!"
"Excuse me, Mrs. Quimby, but it appears Town Hall has been hacked and its emails put online."
"Nice cover up, Database. The ol' “Fake A Mass Hack To Distract The Ball and Chain” gambit."
"This isn't a cover up. This actually happened."
"And they said you couldn't teach a robot to lie. While she's distracted, I'll get to the bottom of this."
If the user doesn’t have
Sleep-Eazy Motel to see what Quimby gets to the bottom of!
— In-Game Message
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 3 [ edit | edit source ]
"Joe, what were you doing all night? And why are your pockets full of tiny shampoo bottles?"
"Would you believe that I was in a magical land of little people with very clean hair? No? Worth a shot."
"I've been crunching the numbers all night... and doing actual crunches since that swimsuit photo of me leaked."
"The city can't afford to investigate this hack."
"Patience, my dear. That Nigerian prince will come through any day now."
"“Any day now” is too late. We need to raise money immediately... with a fundraiser at our compound."
"Our “compound” is just a big house right now."
"Then let's stop talking in “quotes” and improve the place already."
— In-Game Message
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 4 [ edit | edit source ]
"Our fundraiser was a failure, Joe! We barely raised enough to cover the cost of the surf n' turf fountain and the valet's valet."
"If we don't stop this hack, you might lose your next election. And if you lose, you're getting a WASP divorce."
"All the lost intimacy of a real divorce, but with forty more years of marriage."
"Don’t worry, I’ll get the money. As the, ah, family crest says: “Quimby men know how to launder money, but not clothes.”"
"Well, my dearest, I raised the funds. Just pray that we don't have a forest fire anytime soon. Or anything else that requires a government response."
"And just in time! Another round of emails and photos were leaked."
"Did you know that Judge Snyder is naked under his robe?"
"That's not true – I'm wearing a dress!"
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 5 [ edit | edit source ]
"Chief Wiggum, we have the funds to track the hack, and the giant scissors to kick off this task force."
"You solved the case of the missing giant scissors? Alright boys, case closed. Let that giant barber out of his cell and let's go home."
"Home? No! We need to get to the bottom of this cyber attack."
"*sigh* Ok, but if I get stuck inside the computer, promise me that you'll take care of my family. And then unplug me."
"It's a cyber attack. We're going to search with computers, not within computers."
"Oh, that's too bad. I heard there are cookies in computers."
"According to this leak on SMZ, the next McBain movie was going to be filmed in Springfield."
"But Wolfcastle backed out when Quimby passed a “Celebrities Who Say I Don't Look Good In Shorts” tax."
"I just couldn't pretend to like his spindly legs. I know and respect my limits as an actor."
"Be sure to check out my new web series ‘McNanny – The Bain of Your Baby's Existence.'"
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 6 [ edit | edit source ]
"Since Wiggum here has been woefully inept at finding the source of the leak, I've decided to distract our most important constituent – aka me – with a trip to the mall."
"My informant on the inside, Clippy, has given us some good tips on how to format letters."
"Perhaps you can use that advice to format your letter of resignation, so that my husband can tear it up and then fire you."
"Mrs. Quimby, perhaps I could log into the proxy server, check the IP addresses, and trace any stray data packets back to the hacker."
"But then who would make the "Have You Seen This Hacker" posters? You know I'm all thumbs when it comes to glitter glue."
"Not to be rude, but I think your methods might be a bit archaic for fighting cyber crime."
"Archaic? I oughta tar and feather you and stick you in the town stocks!"
"This leak will be the death of me! Our golf club membership has been downgraded to a mini golf club membership. Windmill NOT included!"
"Don't worry, Madam Mayor, I've tracked down the name of the hacker."
"What?! All you did is look over my shoulder and say “How do you make that smiley face emoticon?”"
"No, I said “How do you make the smiley face THINGY.” Emoticon is a term I don't understand."
Higher Class of Politics Pt. 7 [ edit | edit source ]
"The hacker is... Bart Simpson!"
"How'd you do it kid?"
"It wasn't that hard… Quimby's password is ‘Miss_Springfield.' And his security clue is “Not my wife.”"
"Arrest the boy!"
"Just a second, I've almost got this computer sweeped clean of mines."
"Chief, he's getting away!"
"And I just got blown up! Next time I should start at the corners."
"We'll deal with the kid Springfield style!"
"If this mob takes one step closer, I'll release all your emails. Your funny forwards, reminders to pay your credit card, long emails from your lonely aunt - they'll all be out there for the world to see."
"Or I will stop all this for a signed McBain poster."
"You did all this.... for an autograph?"
"Like you haven't done worse and for less."
"Yes, but I work in politics. It's expected."