Have a Vice Day is a limited-time main quest line for Act 2 of the Burns' Casino 2016 Event. The first 9 parts were released on March 7, 2016; the final part and Stacking the Deck were released on March 13, 2016.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Have a Vice Day Pt. 1 Make Burns Go More Green 8h Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 2 Make Skinner Drink Absinthe
Make Krusty Watch a Sexy Floor Show
Make Comic Book Guy Gorge on Whale Sushi
Casino Green Chip.png100
Mr. Burns
Have a Vice Day Pt. 3 Make Marge Hallucinate on Absinthe
Make Lisa Snoop Around
Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 4 Make Burns Consider Hiring Homer
Make Homer Not Recognize Mr. Burns
Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 5 Make Homer Interview More Entertainers
Make Lance Murdock Do Stunts in the Cafeteria*
Casino Green Chip.png100
If the player has Princess Kashmir, the quest Exotic Entertainment starts
Have a Vice Day Pt. 6 Make Krusty Entertain Gamblers with Terrible Impressions 12h Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 7 Make Lisa Investigate Inside the Casino 8h Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 8 Make Marge Start "Gambling Anonymous" 8h Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 9 Make Apu Bleed Out in the Gift Shop 24h Casino Green Chip.png100
Have a Vice Day Pt. 10 Build Homer's House of Cards
Make Homer Deal Cards
Casino Green Chip.png100
Mr. Burns
Stacking the Deck Play Card Game - Casino Green Chip.png100

* Only appears if the player has Lance Murdock

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Have a Vice Day Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Smithers Icon.png Attention Burns Casino patrons. As of today, red chips will no longer be used.
Smithers Icon.png We are switching to green chips, as part of BurnsCo's drive to become more ”Green.”
Smithers Sad Icon.png Also, when mixed with sweat the red dye on the old chips becomes a potent carcinogen.

Have a Vice Day Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png So many decorations and businesses are opening up around my casino. It's becoming quite a little “Vice-ville.”
Mr. Burns Icon.png A delightful locale for citizens to enjoy all the forbidden pleasures.
Mr. Burns Icon.png Gambling, drinking, baiting bears...
Lisa Angry Icon.png What's fun about tormenting a living creature?
Mr. Burns Icon.png Don't knock it 'til you try it. Smithers! Hop around like a kangaroo until I'm amused.
Smithers Sad Icon.png Yes sir.
Mr. Burns Happy Icon.png See Lisa? Fun!

Have a Vice Day Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png There's something weird about Mr. Burns and his “Vice-ville.”
Homer Icon.png Lisa, can't an old man share what he loves: losing money on a casino?
Lisa Angry Icon.png Exactly. Why would he do that? He's hiding something, and everyone who is against gambling needs to figure out what.
Lisa Angry Icon.png Let's go, Mom.
Marge Icon.png With you in a minute. I'm trying absinthe.
Marge Icon.png It's pretty good.
Marge Happy Icon.png Really good.
Marge Drunk Icon.png With you in a minute, Lisa. I'm talking to Mr. Toulouse-Lautrec.
Marge Drunk Icon.png Why yes, Mr. Lautrec, I *will* show you my ankles.

Have a Vice Day Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Sad Icon.png Um, excuse me, Mr. Casino Owner? For years I've worshipped you from afar.
Homer Sad Icon.png Now, I ask a favor. Can I come work for you?
Mr. Burns Icon.png You seem like a fine fellow. But you've never worked for me before?
Homer Thoughtful Icon.png I don't think so.
Mr. Burns Icon.png No, I don't think so either.
Smithers Annoyed Icon.png Oh for heaven's sake, you've both known each other for years.
Homer Confused Icon.png That doesn't sound right.
Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png No, it really doesn't.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png Well Simpson, now that I've remembered who you are, I'm afraid there's no job at my casino for a man so witless and incompetent.
Mr. Burns Angry Icon.png So get back to work at my nuclear plant!

Have a Vice Day Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lance Murdock Icon.png Say, Homer, which way to the stage? I'm doing a show!
Homer Annoyed Icon.png I don't know, Lance. I'm not allowed to work here.
Mr. Burns Happy Icon.png Wait a moment. You know this celebrity? I'm impressed!
Homer Icon.png I know an implausibly large number of celebrities.
Mr. Burns Icon.png Then you have the perfect qualifications to be my new Entertainment Coordinator!
Mr. Burns Icon.png Smithers, hire this man, and fire the old coordinator.
Gil Embarrassed Icon.png But I was just about to bring in a really great trick poodle act!
Gil Icon.png One poodle. Belongs to my wife. It sits up and begs. Most of the time.
System Message Check out Princess Kashmir and the Florence of Arabia club and see what other kinds of entertainment Homer cooks up!

Have a Vice Day Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon.png Homer, you gotta hire me for the casino -- it's the sweetest job there is.
Krusty Icon.png I mean, look at Carrot Top. He got a gig at the Luxor and now he just phones it in all day to drunk tourists.
Homer Icon.png Sir, Carrot Top is my favorite performer. The way he smashes watermelons is sublime.
Krusty Icon.png You're thinking of Gallagher.
Homer Icon.png Comedy snob, huh? You're hired!

Have a Vice Day Pt. 7[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Milhouse, I have to get inside that casino if I'm ever going to find out what Mr. Burns is up to.
Milhouse Sad Icon.png But children aren't allowed in there. If we want to gamble we have to lie about our age online.
Lisa Icon.png Hey, Dad... can I have a “Take Your Kid To Work” Day?
Homer Serious Icon.png Are you planning to cause trouble? You've never ask for Take Your Kid to Work days at the power plant.
Lisa Confused Icon.png Um... me environmentalist. Nuclear bad. Me support Native Americans, they like casinos, casinos good...
Homer Icon.png Convincing. Utterly convincing.

Have a Vice Day Pt. 8[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Marge Serious Icon.png I'm really worried about gambling fever taking over the town. How will this affect our bake sales, for example?
Marge Serious Icon.png It's time to save our bake sales with an organization to cure this terrible addiction.
Marge Serious Icon.png I got the idea from spending time in AA.
Marge Icon.png Absinthe Anonymous.
Skinner Icon.png Although Absinthe Anonymous is more about hanging out and sharing our love of absinthe.

Have a Vice Day Pt. 9[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png Apu, you also run the casino gift shop? Boy, you must really enjoy selling cigarettes and aspirin.
Apu Sad Icon.png It's a terrible job. Mr. Burns has explicitly forbidden me to gouge!
Apu Sad Icon.png He wants people to leave richer than they entered.
Lisa Confused Icon.png But why? What is the secret behind Vice-ville?
Apu Worried Icon.png Sshhh -- come into the back room.
Apu Worried Icon.png I have one word for you: power.
Lisa Shocked Icon.png Power! Mr. Burns wants to rule Springfield!
Apu Sad Icon.png No. It's dark here in the back room, so flip the switch and give the lights power.
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Fine. Lights on.
Apu Icon.png Great. Anyway, now I have one word for you: power.
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Okay, like I just said, Mr. Burns wants to take control of Springfield.
Apu Icon.png No, that is NOT what I mean. The secret behind this casino is-
Apu Choking Icon.png -AARGHH!
Lisa Shocked Icon.png Oh no! Someone shot Apu just as he was about to reveal the truth. This IS a conspiracy.
Snake Icon.png Actually, this is just a robbery. Did I interrupt something?
System Message He did! Keep gambling until March 13th for the conclusion of this story.
System Message Will it be exciting? You bet! Meanwhile... You, bet.

Have a Vice Day Pt. 10[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png Homer, you've been a fantastic entertainment coordinator.
Mr. Burns Icon.png The people you've hired are good enough to add that Las Vegas feeling, but crappy enough not to distract the gamblers.
Mr. Burns Icon.png As a reward, I'm giving you your own game to run.
Homer Icon.png Thank you, sir!
Homer Icon.png I was proud of hiring the clown.
Mr. Burns Icon.png Yes, he really amped up the crappy.
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