"Off to make Springfield a better place. Er-uh, better for me at least."
"Whoa, you kissed me goodbye? Someone’s in a good mood."
"It’s Monday. That means poker night with the boys and without the wives is just five days away!"
"Joe, did you forget? This weekend’s the Annual Weekend-Long Husband-Wife Ballroom Dancing Marathon for Charity!"
"Sorry, we had to cancel that due to budget constraints."
"But it’s my favorite event! Isn’t there anything else you can cut? Like one of the weekly Miss Springfield swimsuit contests?"
"I made a campaign promise to have those! A promise to myself, but a promise nonetheless."
"Fine, if you insist on cutting the dance marathon, I’m insisting on entering the bikini contests."
"It appears Springfield is approaching the financial cliff! Get me Bernanke or someone with an easier name to pronounce! We gotta make some cuts!"
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"Presenting the new and lighter Springfield budget! Your dance marathon has been saved, along with the eyes of all Springfielders."
"So what’d you cut?"
"Women’s prisons. Why should we all pay eight bucks a month to watch “Orange Is the New Black” when we can release women prisoners and watch them do stuff for free?"
"You released all the women prisoners? Isn’t that a risk?"
"Please, everyone knows women are non-violent."
"Step aside. I need to make sure my switchblade still works after sitting in prison storage."
"She just sliced that 300-page budget in half like it was butter! I thought you said women were non-violent!"
"Young lady, follow me upstairs to Martha’s room. There’s a stack of bikinis you can try out your knife on."
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Gina? Is that you? I thought you were in prison."
"The city let me out with no advance warning. So now I’m living on the streets."
"I KNEW when they banned house farming that homelessness would become a problem."
"Well, you stay here ‘til you get on your feet."
"Wait, don’t I get a say here?"
"Bart’s right, we should consider how this will affect him. Bart, I can’t remember, did things with you and Gina end badly?"
"REALLY badly."
"Well then she can stay!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Why the long face, Bart? Most guys would jump at the chance to be with their ex again."
"Sure... after a few drinks and with a tacit understanding that after the night’s over they’ll never contact each other again."
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Why do you keep avoiding me?"
"Oh please, I’m not avoiding you."
"I haven’t seen you in three days...and I live in the same room as you."
"Maybe being surrounded by so much bright orange dulled the sensitivity of your eyes to normal colors."
"Bart look, there’s no need to have your guard up. I’m not going to try to get back together with you."
"Good. Because it’s taken me eight months of skipping therapy appointments to get over our relationship."
"I just can’t be with a girl who’s so erratic and unpredictable."
"Ooooo, it’s so sexy when you question my mental stability."
Jobs Started[]
Character
Dialogue
"See, that’s just what I’m talking about! You say one thing, then you do another!"
"You’re just pushing me away because you’re afraid of commitment."
"But I’m not giving up on us, so I’ve made an appointment with a relationship therapist. You down?"
"Noooo way."
"It’s during school hours so you can get out of class..."
"Dammit! You know me too well!"
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 5[]
Character
Dialogue
"Bart, maybe rather than trying to avoid Gina, you should tell her openly and honestly how you feel."
"I’m a guy, remember? So that’s biologically impossible."
"And Gina, maybe you should try not threatening Bart with a shiv when you have a disagreement."
"Okay fine, I’ll use my sharpened plastic spoon from the joint. It can only seriously maim, not kill."
"Now can you two commit to each other that you’ll start your relationship anew and stick to these rules for a week?"
"If you prescribe us some of that stuff you’re not supposed to use while operating heavy machinery, I’ll consider it."
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 6[]
Character
Dialogue
"What? After all your complaining you got back together with her?"
"Well not completely. We just changed our Springface relationship status to “kind of back together, maybe.”"
"Do you think Gina might be using you? And us?"
"Oh I know she’s using us. That’s what she does."
"Then why aren’t you doing anything about it?"
"Because the only other action I’ve gotten in the past year is a head massage from the barber when he was shampooing my hair."
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 7[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"My new Gööber ridesharing service for bullies will be the biggest revolution in bullying since the invention of the wet willie!"
"You’ll be able to shakedown Springfield Elementary for lunch money, and still make it crosstown to loot the lunchers at Springfield High."
"The mythical Double Luncher? The fantasy becomes reality."
"I just need drivers to make this happen. You jerks in?"
"But don’t we need a car?"
"I’ll grab the Simpsons’ pink sedan when they’re asleep."
"But don’t we need drivers’ licenses?"
"Got two right here. Which one of you wants to be “Homer” and which wants to be “Marge?”"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"You forgot something: we need cash for gas."
"Of course I didn’t forget, you amateur. We’ll have cash once I sell these lovely items."
"Lisa’s sax and Bart’s copy of Radioactive Man #1?"
"Already posted on eBay. And don’t forget about the extra 79 cents I got from selling Maggie’s pacifier on Craigslist!"
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 8[]
Character
Dialogue
"You’re breaking up with me and moving out? But we just got back together!"
"Sorry dude, but I got an exciting new work opportunity. It was the relationship or the job. And splitting a stolen Squishee with you isn’t gonna pay the bills."
"You got a job? Doing what?"
"It’s in the transportation field."
"What qualifications do you have for that?"
"Eight months making freeway signs and license plates."
"Then I guess this is goodbye... until I get over you and you suddenly appear again to drive me crazy."
"Homer, did you get drunk at Moe’s last night and leave the car there?"
"Marge, I don’t get drunk every night at Moe’s! I was right here on the couch. Getting drunk."
"Then where’s the car?"
"Probably with whoever stole my saxophone, and Bart’s Radioactive Man #1."
"We’ve been robbed! Who would do such a thing?"
"Hmmmmm... maybe the convicted felon we allowed to live here?"
Girl Next Cell Over Pt. 10[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Gina Vendetti, you’re under arrest. Again."
"I don’t get it. How did you guys solve it? You never solve anything!"
"We didn’t solve it, silly. An eight-year-old did."
"I was getting suspicious of you, so I downloaded the SaxFinder app in case you ever stole my sax. It led the cops right to you!"
"Well, after I showed them how to read a map."
"Now Gina, you can handle getting yourself to the station without me, right? I’ve got a bikini contest to go judge."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"What a surprise. Gina Vendetti at a police station."
"Let me guess -- you crashed another of Mommy’s BMWs and Daddy’s gonna bail you out?"
"Yes on one, no on two. But they haven’t reopened the women’s prisons, so they’re giving us ankle monitors instead."
"Uh oh, I think I’m gonna need another ankle."
"OK, gotta run and help Mommy pick out a new BMW. Text me if you wanna do another meeting of the Bart’s Ex-Girlfriend Club. I’ve got some juicy stuff to tell you."
“
Sounds like Jessica has some important girl talk to share! Play through her story and find out what it is!