Game of Stones

Game of Stones is the starting questline of the Stonecutters 2014 Event. The name of the questline is a parody of Game of Thrones .

QuestsEdit

DialogueEdit

Game of Stones Pt. 1Edit

Character	Dialogue
	"What?! Moe ran out of beer?!" "Impossible! That's like Miley Cyrus running out of tounge poses!" "Apu, two chases of your cheapest beer! Nothing fancy, just something to make me woozy and bloated."
	"I would love to sell you dangerous quantities of alcohol." "Especially since you always stumble back later for snackcakes, lotto tickets and those adult diaper wipes." "But all the bottles of alcohol in my store mysteriously exploded. And the walls behind the alcohol have mysteriously developed baseball bat dents."
	"So there's no booze in this whole town? Oh God! I'll be forced to face it like sober!" "None of my ideas will seem brilliant!" "George Lopez won't be funny at all!"
	"Psst, I know how you could have enough alcohol to ruin TWO livers..."
	"I'll do anything you say, hooded figure I just met!"
	"Re-build the Stonecutter Lodge!"
	"That's right! They had a microbrewery, champagne fountain and bourbon jacuzzi!"
	"Yes, The Stonecutters invented alcoholism as a way to control "cool people".
	"And for that, I am forever grateful. I shall build the What-cha-ma-callit Lodge!"

Game of Stones Pt. 2Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Number 1? YOU were the hooded figure? But I thought you quit The Stonecutters to form the No Homers Club?"
	"Regrettably, the No Homers lost their clubhouse in the nuclear super-accident."
	"I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to say this but:" "Sor-ry!"
	"Yes, well, I'd like to be a Stonecutter again."
	"Okay, but you have to do what I say. The birthmark on my butt says I'm your leader."
	"I prefer to think of it as your upper thigh."
	"Do what you gotta do."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Hey, everyone! Look at The Sacred Texts! I never noticed this part here, scrawled in purple crayon!" "In the event of nuclear meltdown, the NEW leader shall be he who holds the sacred purple crayon!" Oh look, I have it right here!"
	"I don't know… that crayon looks more like a deep plum."
	"It also says Homer gets to keep the title of “Chosen One” and the fancy hat and… uh… this “Doors of Europe” calendar."
	"Woohoo! It's a deal! There's a bunch of unused months on this!"

Game of Stones Pt. 3Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Number 1, you may be the leader of The Stonecutters but these days all of us take our orders from…" "The Sky Finger." "The Sky Finger places all our buildings and sends us on our jobs." "Often while he's supposed to be working no less."
	"Well, I shan't be doing this Sky Finger's bidding." "Sky Finger! Obey MY command! "open-bracket COLLECT underscore FROM underscore HOUSES close-bracket""

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"How did you learn the code to make the Sky Finger do THAT?!"
	*shrug* "I know a lot of nerds."

Game of Stones Pt. 4Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Stonecutters! It is time to step forward in our march toward Global Domination!" "Let us read now from the ancient prophecy to learn what must be done."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"What?! How would that help you conquer the world?"
	"When young brains freeze, it causes an insatiable appetite for following orders."
	*gasp* "You are more evil than I imagined. Fortunately, our kids are too smart for that. They'd never fall for—!"
	"Hmm, I suddenly really want to drink a Squishee."
	*screams*

Trust No OneEdit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Now, we must spy on Other Springfields to learn what they know about us."
	"Why? We've always gotten along. Sending Valentines and Christmas cards and playfully vandalizing each other."
	"Yes, but each Springfield now has a version of me. And I know for a fact that I've got it in for me."
	"This twisty thinking is making me sleepy. Can we make the Sky Finger do our spying? I'm going to nap."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Excellent spying, Sky Finger! Information should flow free and be available to all." "Except OUR information. We don't need anybody being all up in our stuff! Stop other people from spying on us!

Game of Stones Pt. 5Edit

Character	Dialogue
	"Now carefully and thoughtfully place the Sacred Parchment. It is the most hallowed artifact of The Stonecutters." "More essential to us than the fragment of the cross, the holy folder of take-out menus and the rack for our pool table."

Game of Stones Pt. 6Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"There is no better opiate of the masses than shiny, new trinkets." "This chest of artifacts will distract attention from our darkest machinations. Like jingling car keys when giving a baby a shot."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Ooo, let see what's in our treasure chest!" "Holy hand grenade..." "ring with writing on it that makes me want to punch people…" "used shroud with some bearded dude's face burned in…" *moans* "There's nothing good in here!" "This jeweled cup is too wide for drinking. Still, I guess I can use it."
	"Oh my God! I think that's the Holy Grail!"
	Now it's Daddy's ice cream bowl.

Game of Stones Pt. 7Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Number 600…"
	"That's my number, don't wear it out! Heh, heh."
	"I need the membership to come together for a very important meeting." "I want you to make an announcement and then stand by the bar to make sure no one gets too drunk."
	"That's exactly what I do every day at school!"
	"Don't be glib. It doesn't work for you."
	"I was just thinking the same thing."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"My brothers in stone, it is good to see you all once again assembled in this lodge." "The Springfield Stonecutters are growing in their power. The time has come to use our strength to take over the Shelbyville chapter…" "…and then the WORLD!"

Game of Stones Pt. 8Edit

Character	Dialogue
	"These Stonecutter meetings are so stressful. No one cowers in my presence. People make eye contact." "Lenny actually said, “How's it goin'?” to me. And because he outranks me I was compelled to tell him!" "I don't know how you non-richies handle the nobody-ness of it all."
	"We're used to it, sir. Shall I prepare the relaxation pool?"
	"Yes. A little dip will do me good."

Game of Stones Pt. 9Edit

Character	Dialogue
	"Number 908, we would like to honor you for re-building our beloved lodge."
	"I would say that you guys shouldn't have… but I think you really probably should."
	"Attach the Stone of Triumph to The Chosen One!"
	"D'oh!"

Game of Stones Pt. 10Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Now we begin our siege of the Shelbyville Chapter." "We will sneak into their Lodge, steal their booze then frame the Shelbyville chapter's leader for the crime." "Homer, do you think you can handle this?"
	"Sure, I'm pretty stealthy when I'm not dragging around a rock."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Mizzion Accompwished! Permission to say: “hic”."
	"Homer! You’re back? But where is all the liquor you were supposed to steal?"
	"I've cleverly hidden it all *hic* in my, whacha-call, liver." "Shhhhhh." *wink*
	"How on earth could you drink that much alcohol?!"
	"I'll tell you the secret, c'mere…" "I need to go to a hospital now." "Bye-bye. Blackie-outie…" "..."

Game of Stones Pt. 11Edit

Character	Dialogue
	"At last, the Stonecutter table! It looks as glorious as it once--wait, what's this?" "“Homer Rules!” Number 908, did you write on our beautiful table?"
	"Well, I am the Chosen One, so I do kind of rule…"
	"Sand it off. And then place it. We've got some singing to do!"

Game of Stones Pt. 12Edit

Character	Dialogue
	"To ensure our continued success, we’ve commissioned a monument to honor the dark lord!" "Behold, Satan's Anvil!"
	"What?! So the Stonecutters are actually a secret satanist society?"
	"Actually no. I’m afraid of satan - gives me the heebie-jeebies." "I just think it would look really badass to have a 120 foot stone devil in our courtyard."
	"Amen! Looking cool is my religion, too!"