"Man, I'm seeing these Uber cars everywhere. When are we gonna take over that industry?"
"We already are. What do you think Lyft is?"
"We just need to make sure Town Hall doesn't cave in to the “reasonable safety regulations and background checks” lobby and ban us."
"Leave that to me! Oh and by the way, next time you use Lyft can you use the code FATTONY27? I'll get $5 off my next ride."
Jobs Started[]
Character
Dialogue
"1932 Phaeton! Does it work?"
"I ran rum in it just last Saturday."
"Wow! Now people won't just think I have ties to the mob -- they'll think I'm in it!"
"So we have an agreement?"
"The Quimby Ride-Sharing Freedom Act will be signed by yesterday!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"I must need a higher octane gasoline -- this car makes a knocking noise. Also, uh, a muffled screaming noise."
"Whoa, there's a guy tied up in the trunk!"
"Maybe he's a mechanic who can, uh, look into that knocking noise."
"I'm not a mechanic! Untie me!"
"Can you at least do detailing?"
Frankie the Politician Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Since I rescued you and all, uh, I'm hoping you can keep quiet about our little “deal.”"
"You mean the fact that you accepted a bribe from my Mafia buddies to keep your nose out of their business?"
"Well, I already tweeted about it, but you can erase those. Consider it forgotten!"
"Er uh, how long were you in that trunk anyway?"
"I don't know, but it seemed like an eternity."
"Sounds like dinner with my wife. Which you're coming to!"
"You'll wish you were back in that trunk before the salad course is over."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"I saw the way you and my wife were flirting with each other during dinner."
"I'm sorry! I'd been locked in a trunk for hours with no human contact. It won't happen again."
"Oh yes, it will! That was the most enjoyable dinner I've had in years!"
"But you just sat and ate in silence while your wife and I talked."
"Exactly! How, uh, would you like a full-time job on the government payroll? You can be the Mayor's Wife's Executive Assistant."
"What do I do?"
"Anything! As long as it's with her, and it's not here."
“
New Permanent Job at the Pimento Grove available for Frankie the Squealer and Martha Quimby.
”
— In-Game Message
Frankie the Politician Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"I'm liking this getting-paid-for-something-besides-killing-people thing. How can I become a politician myself?"
"Marry someone who becomes President and then start authoritatively spouting off on policy issues, even though you're, uh, utterly unqualified to do so."
"But if I marry someone else, your wife won't want to hang out with me."
"Good point. Er uh, try this instead -- make a billion dollars then file for bankruptcy, and wear a toupée that looks like a marmoset…"
"…and host a TV show with celebrities who haven't been famous since before the Internet was invented."
"A billion dollars?! How am I going to earn that?"
"You're in politics now -- you don't "earn" anything. You "raise" it from stupid rich people."
"Gotcha! And where can I find these stupid rich people?"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"You ALREADY raised all the money? It's been less than a day! How'd you do it?"
"People were pretty open to purchasing a membership once I threatened to break their ribs with a 3-iron."
"Hmm. Maybe I'll, uh, try that next time instead of a 5-wood."
Frankie the Politician Pt. 4[]
Character
Dialogue
"Alright Frankie, you've been our inside man in the government for two weeks now. Time for you to do what you do best and squeal. Whaddya got for me?"
"Get this -- Martha Quimby shops at Ross Dress for Less!"
"Um, OK. Do you maybe have anything a little more... useful?"
"This next one's a doozy. Martha talks in her sleep, and when she does, she recites episodes of “Hart to Hart”!"
"I didn't hire you to write an exposé for O Magazine. I hired you to help with the Business! Now get outta here and find me some information I can use!"
"So you don't want to hear about Martha's iTunes playlist?"
Frankie the Politician Pt. 5[]
Character
Dialogue
"I got into the country club despite being Catholic, and Martha hasn't asked me for a foot rub in weeks. Impressive work, Frankie!"
"You don't know the half of it!"
"Whaddya mean?"
"While working for you, I've also been working as a mafia spy reporting everything I see back to Fat Tony!"
"What???"
"But I'VE also been working as a mafia spy reporting everything I see back to Fat Tony!"
"I guess that makes three of us."
"Maybe that's why he seems so bored when I give my reports."
Frankie the Politician Pt. 6[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"I can't believe you squealed. You disappoint me, Frankie."
"Please boss, don't hurt me. Martha and I have Zumba Con Sergio tomorrow -- we had to book it two months in advance!"
"Eh, unfortunately since you're in the government now it's too risky to have you beat up."
"Phew. Anyway, it's not like I squealed about something important, like Jon Snow getting murdered in the finale."
"Ya chooch! I'm only on season 4! NOW you're getting beat up."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ugggh, my arm, my knee, my other knee..."
"Rumor on the Internet is he's not even dead!"
"I'm tired of this life. I'm gonna run for office, where I can commit crimes in a much less dangerous environment!"
"But who's gonna vote for an incompetent mafia flunky?"
"Perhaps I can help!"
"There's nothing better than making a bold statement on live TV."
"You're saying I should come on your show and act like a man?"
"No, I'm saying the opposite."
Frankie the Politician Pt. 7[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Welcome back to “0.04167 Days”, Springfield's #1 news magazine show."
"Tonight, we're joined by a very special guest with a very special confession: Francine the Squealer."
"Just hearing you say that feels so liberating."
"Francine, you also have another confession besides your new identity."
"Yes. I've been working undercover as a mafia spy in Mayor Quimby's administration."
"And while I'm still a bit unsure about my gender, I am sure of one thing -- both the mafia and the government are corrupt and need to be stopped!"
"Viewers, if you want to march on Town Hall with me and take back Springfield, join me tomorrow at the Country Club!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Please. Who in the world is gonna join this guy?"
"Me!"
"YOU? You're the least political person I know! You don't even vote when we vote on cheese vs. pepperoni."
"This isn't about politics, Lisa. It's about being a part of something bigger -- growing beards, and riding in pickup trucks, and making high production value propaganda videos!"
Frankie the Politician Pt. 8[]
Character
Dialogue
"Wow, thanks for joining up, guys! Now let's head to Town Hall and overthrow the government!"
"Shouldn't we make a cool flag first?"
"When do we get assigned wives?"
"Anyone have any aloe ointment? My beard itches."
"People, we've got to seize the moment of change!"
"Viva la revolución!"
Frankie the Politician Pt. 9[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"You really overthrew the government and installed Francine as mayor?"
"He, or she, still not sure about that one, is sitting at the Mayor's desk right now!"
"Although it's Saturday, so it wasn't that hard. We just hopped the fence."
Jobs Started[]
Character
Dialogue
"I'm still conflicted about this. On the surface, she seems capable of running the government.
"But I feel like she's hiding this terrible dark side and that she's capable of doing unspeakable evil.
"Francine the Squealer?
"No, Hillary Clinton.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Uh oh, the revolutionary spirit is dying down. I don't want to be another Mohamed Morsi!"
"To stay in office, I need to follow the lesson of those great revolutionary leaders, Lenin and Mao:"
"Once in power, turn on the people who put you there!"
Frankie the Politician Pt. 10[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"I was excited about this revolution, but now my farm's done been collectivized!"
"How am I supposed to make a profit when Squishees have been declared “Counter-revolutionary”?"
"They said since I work at the power plant I'm an “intellectual” and need to go to a forced labor camp for re-education."
"I hate anything having to do with education."
"Our only hope is to reinstate the man who was previously running the city."
"I'm ready!"
"No, the man who was REALLY running the city."
"Darn, I was kinda enjoying my little vacation."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Mayor Francine, we've got to avenge this injustice."
"It's Frankie, not Francine. And I'm not the mayor. I'm tired of living a false life in politics. I've gotta be me!"
"...Living a false life in the mob."
"Frankie! I got a heist tonight and Gino called in sick. You in?"
“
Help Don Vittorio out with his heist, and he'll help you. How? Complete his quests to find out!