Four Fingers of Death

Four Fingers of Death is a limited time side quest chain involving the character Comic Book Guy and his Kung Fu Comic Book Guy's new costume released on July 10, 2015, during the Tap Ball 2015 Event's Act 2.

Quests

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 1	Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Teach Kung Fu Make Bart Attend Kung Fu Class	8h 60m	100, 10	Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 2	Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Binge Watch Kung Fu Movies	24h	100, 10	Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 3	Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Use Nunchaku	12h	100, 10	Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 4	Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Practice Moves	4h	100, 10	Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 5	Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Challenge His Rival	16h	100, 10	Comic Book Guy
I Lava Good Fight Scene *	Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Battle B-Movie Style	16h	100, 10	Comic Book Guy

* If the player has Volcano Lair

Character	Dialogue
	"Hey, look, everybody! It's the Kung Fu Panda!"
	"Judge me by my girth, do you? You are a foolish child, unwise in the ways of gongfu."
	"I have devoted years to studying the eldritch secrets of the East, learning from the greatest masters:"
	"Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Keanu Reeves in “The Matrix,” Chris Farley in “Beverly Hills Ninja...”"
	"...and, yes, the aforementioned Kung Fu Panda. Seriously, I know he's a cartoon, but the dude knows his stuff."
	"I can teach you much, if you would but listen."

Character	Dialogue
	"A true Master can erect an impenetrable defense. I shall demonstrate. Please, young Bart, attack me however you like."
	"Oof!"
	"Gah! Let go of the pony tail!"
	"Yowza! Right in the chi!"

Character	Dialogue
	"Defeated by a child! I have brought shame upon my dojo and upon my family, two entities that were none-too-crazy about me to begin with."
	"Clearly, I need further training."
	"To the couch!"

Character	Dialogue
	"At last, the movies have revealed the weakness in my gongfu!"
	"Was I defeated because I can't do a sit-up without the aid of a gantry crane? No! I merely lack a strong revenge motive!"
	"Kumiko! I swear I will avenge your death at the hands of Bart Simpson!"
	"I'm not dead, my gigantic love."
	"Obviously! I'm only FANTASIZING that my wife is dead. It's something all great husbands do."
	"I was not aware of this, my strange, obese soul mate. Carry on."
	"Oh, why have I been cursed with a wonderful, living wife?!"

Character	Dialogue
	"My otherwise regal body is not, I admit, ideally suited to the exertions of hand-to-hand combat."
	"Being struck by my fat-wrapped fists is like snuggling into a mountain of the softest eider down."
	"Being kicked by my legs is like... well, I can't raise them more than six inches, so it's irrelevant."
	"But I DO have something far more important -- the cunning reflexes of a jungle cat."
	"Therefore, I shall dedicate myself to mastering that most ancient of weapons..."
	"Nice nunchucks, you wad!"
	"They are properly called “nunchaku!” A-doy!"
	"You just tied two Wii controllers end-to-end by the straps."
	"THEY STILL COUNT!"
	"No they don't. Plastic nunchucks are no nunchucks at all, you dope."
	"It's “nunchaku!” A-doy! A thousand times a-doy!"

Character	Dialogue
	"Soon I will face Bart Simpson in a fateful and deadly clash of martial arts grand masters."
	"A little more practice, followed by a lengthy fast food crawl through Springfield's Trans Fat District, and my body will be prepared."

Character	Dialogue
	"Bart Simpson, I challenge you!"
	"Stand and face me, if you be man enough, in the ultimate gongfu arena:"
	"A head-to-head battle in “Martial Arts Eviscerators 7: Entrails of Fury Edition!”"
	"Wait. You want to challenge me to a kung fu VIDEO GAME?"
	"Not my original plan. Let's just say Krustyburger's new “Bacon-wrapped Fish Taco Pizzaburger with Ranch Drizzles” is not easy on the digestive system."
	"I'm in no shape to fight."
	"But enough talk. Choose your controller."

Character	Dialogue
	"Yes! You are defeated, Bart Simpson! I have proven myself the master!"
	"The “X” button on this controller doesn't work. And you were in “God Mode” the whole time."
	"A true master makes full use of cheat codes. Let this be your first lesson, my pupil."
	"Not for nothing, “master,” but you really need to move around more. Your flab is growing into the couch."
	"Yes, I know."

Character	Dialogue
	"gasp How have I never noticed this enormous volcano on the edge of town?"
	"What a perfect location for an underground lair."
	"Already taken, friend! Sorry about that. I know how rarely active volcanoes with an open floor plan come on the underground lair market."
	"Perhaps I could leave you my card? In case you ever want to sell."
	"You know, that's a great idea? Operation Vertumnus is entering Phase 3 any day now."
	"In a month or two, I'll be pulling up stakes for the lifeless remains of San Francisco. If I can ever get the Desiccation Ray working!"
	"You don't happen to know anyone who has a metric ton of Carbon-12 Negative-Matrix Nightmare Crystals to unload, do you?"
	"Sadly, no."
	"Yeah, they're hard to find. Messing up my whole supply chain. But no one said holding the planet for ransom has to be easy!"
	"Anyway, if all that pans out, I'd sure like to pass the volcano lair to someone who'll give it the love it deserves."
	"Now, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing a karate gi. What do you know about the martial arts, friend?"
	"Everything."
	"Dandy! How'd you like to train my fighting force? They don't need to be any good, you understand."
	"I just need them to run at the good guys and get mowed down while I escape in my Invisible Atomic Rocket Sled."