Four Fingers of Death is a limited time side quest chain involving the character Comic Book Guy and his Kung Fu Comic Book Guy's new costume released on July 10, 2015, during the Tap Ball 2015 Event's Act 2.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 1 Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Teach Kung Fu
Make Bart Attend Kung Fu Class
8h
60m
Cash100, Experience10 Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 2 Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Binge Watch Kung Fu Movies 24h Cash100, Experience10 Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 3 Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Use Nunchaku 12h Cash100, Experience10 Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 4 Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Practice Moves 4h Cash100, Experience10 Comic Book Guy
Four Fingers of Death Pt. 5 Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Challenge His Rival Need Bart Simpson 16h Cash100, Experience10 Comic Book Guy
I Lava Good Fight Scene * Make Kung Fu Comic Book Guy Battle B-Movie Style 16h Cash100, Experience10 Comic Book Guy

* If the player has Volcano Lair

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Four Fingers of Death Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Bart Laughing Icon.png Hey, look, everybody! It's the Kung Fu Panda!
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png Judge me by my girth, do you? You are a foolish child, unwise in the ways of gongfu.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png I have devoted years to studying the eldritch secrets of the East, learning from the greatest masters:
Comic Book Guy Icon.png Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Keanu Reeves in “The Matrix,” Chris Farley in “Beverly Hills Ninja...”
Comic Book Guy Annoyed Icon.png ...and, yes, the aforementioned Kung Fu Panda. Seriously, I know he's a cartoon, but the dude knows his stuff.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png I can teach you much, if you would but listen.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon.png A true Master can erect an impenetrable defense. I shall demonstrate. Please, young Bart, attack me however you like.
Comic Book Guy Pain Icon.png Oof!
Comic Book Guy Pain Icon.png Gah! Let go of the pony tail!
Comic Book Guy Pain Icon.png Yowza! Right in the chi!

Four Fingers of Death Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png Defeated by a child! I have brought shame upon my dojo and upon my family, two entities that were none-too-crazy about me to begin with.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png Clearly, I need further training.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png To the couch!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon.png At last, the movies have revealed the weakness in my gongfu!
Comic Book Guy Icon.png Was I defeated because I can't do a sit-up without the aid of a gantry crane? No! I merely lack a strong revenge motive!
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png Kumiko! I swear I will avenge your death at the hands of Bart Simpson!
Kumiko Icon.png I'm not dead, my gigantic love.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png Obviously! I'm only FANTASIZING that my wife is dead. It's something all great husbands do.
Kumiko Icon.png I was not aware of this, my strange, obese soul mate. Carry on.
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png Oh, why have I been cursed with a wonderful, living wife?!

Four Fingers of Death Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png My otherwise regal body is not, I admit, ideally suited to the exertions of hand-to-hand combat.
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png Being struck by my fat-wrapped fists is like snuggling into a mountain of the softest eider down.
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png Being kicked by my legs is like... well, I can't raise them more than six inches, so it's irrelevant.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png But I DO have something far more important -- the cunning reflexes of a jungle cat.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png Therefore, I shall dedicate myself to mastering that most ancient of weapons...
Bart Laughing Icon.png Nice nunchucks, you wad!
Comic Book Guy Annoyed Icon.png They are properly called “nunchaku!” A-doy!
Bart Laughing Icon.png You just tied two Wii controllers end-to-end by the straps.
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png THEY STILL COUNT!
Bart Laughing Icon.png No they don't. Plastic nunchucks are no nunchucks at all, you dope.
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png It's “nunchaku!” A-doy! A thousand times a-doy!

Four Fingers of Death Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Annoyed Icon.png Soon I will face Bart Simpson in a fateful and deadly clash of martial arts grand masters.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png A little more practice, followed by a lengthy fast food crawl through Springfield's Trans Fat District, and my body will be prepared.

Four Fingers of Death Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png Bart Simpson, I challenge you!
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png Stand and face me, if you be man enough, in the ultimate gongfu arena:
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png A head-to-head battle in “Martial Arts Eviscerators 7: Entrails of Fury Edition!”
Bart Confused Icon.png Wait. You want to challenge me to a kung fu VIDEO GAME?
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png Not my original plan. Let's just say Krustyburger's new “Bacon-wrapped Fish Taco Pizzaburger with Ranch Drizzles” is not easy on the digestive system.
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png I'm in no shape to fight.
Comic Book Guy Angry Icon.png But enough talk. Choose your controller.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Happy Icon.png Yes! You are defeated, Bart Simpson! I have proven myself the master!
Bart Annoyed Icon.png The “X” button on this controller doesn't work. And you were in “God Mode” the whole time.
Comic Book Guy Happy Icon.png A true master makes full use of cheat codes. Let this be your first lesson, my pupil.
Bart Scared Icon.png Not for nothing, “master,” but you really need to move around more. Your flab is growing into the couch.
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png Yes, I know.

I Lava Good Fight Scene[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Surprised Icon.png *gasp* How have I never noticed this enormous volcano on the edge of town?
Comic Book Guy Happy Icon.png What a perfect location for an underground lair.
Hank Scorpio Icon.png Already taken, friend! Sorry about that. I know how rarely active volcanoes with an open floor plan come on the underground lair market.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png Perhaps I could leave you my card? In case you ever want to sell.
Hank Scorpio Icon.png You know, that's a great idea? Operation Vertumnus is entering Phase 3 any day now.
Hank Scorpio Icon.png In a month or two, I'll be pulling up stakes for the lifeless remains of San Francisco. If I can ever get the Desiccation Ray working!
Hank Scorpio Icon.png You don't happen to know anyone who has a metric ton of Carbon-12 Negative-Matrix Nightmare Crystals to unload, do you?
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png Sadly, no.
Hank Scorpio Annoyed Icon.png Yeah, they're hard to find. Messing up my whole supply chain. But no one said holding the planet for ransom has to be easy!
Hank Scorpio Pleased Icon.png Anyway, if all that pans out, I'd sure like to pass the volcano lair to someone who'll give it the love it deserves.
Hank Scorpio Icon.png Now, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing a karate gi. What do you know about the martial arts, friend?
Comic Book Guy Annoyed Icon.png Everything.
Hank Scorpio Pleased Icon.png Dandy! How'd you like to train my fighting force? They don't need to be any good, you understand.
Hank Scorpio Icon.png I just need them to run at the good guys and get mowed down while I escape in my Invisible Atomic Rocket Sled.
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