First Church of Lard Lad (quest chain)

First Church of Lard Lad is the quest chain available to the player after the First Church of Lard Lad has been placed.

QuestsEdit

DialogueEdit

The First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 1Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"I don’t know what’s more disturbing, a church that worships a giant seller of donuts, or the fact that I don’t belong to it."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"I don’t have to wear orange robes and a turban, do I?"
	"Don’t be silly, we’re a perfectly respectable religion. Now here, put on your jelly-filled underwear."

The First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 2Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Bow down before Lard Lad, only begotten son of Lard Dad, sent to Earth to crush sinners with his Holy Donut."
	"Oh Holy Donut, fill our blood with Sprinkles of Power, that we may join you in your heaven, currently located on the International Space Station."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"What happened to Lard Lad’s Holy Donut?"
	"I ate it."
	"But it’s made of Styrofoam."
	"I see that now. I’m burping up packing peanuts."

The First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 3Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Homer Simpson, for profaning the Holy Donut of Glory you must wear the Leaden Donut of Shame."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Mmmm… lead sprinkles."