First Church of Lard Lad is the quest chain available to the player after the First Church of Lard Lad has been placed.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements
First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 1

Make Homer join the First Church of Lard Lad

First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 2 Make Homer Worship Lard Lad Donut
First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 3 Make Homer Wear the Lead Donut around his Neck

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

The First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "I don’t know what’s more disturbing, a church that worships a giant seller of donuts, or the fact that I don’t belong to it."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "I don’t have to wear orange robes and a turban, do I?"
Lardladpriest Icon.png "Don’t be silly, we’re a perfectly respectable religion. Now here, put on your jelly-filled underwear."

The First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lardladpriest Icon.png "Bow down before Lard Lad, only begotten son of Lard Dad, sent to Earth to crush sinners with his Holy Donut."
Homer Icon.png "Oh Holy Donut, fill our blood with Sprinkles of Power, that we may join you in your heaven, currently located on the International Space Station."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lardladpriest Icon.png "What happened to Lard Lad’s Holy Donut?"
Homer Icon.png "I ate it."
Lardladpriest Icon.png "But it’s made of Styrofoam."
Homer Icon.png "I see that now. I’m burping up packing peanuts."

The First Church of Lard Lad Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lardladpriest Icon.png "Homer Simpson, for profaning the Holy Donut of Glory you must wear the Leaden Donut of Shame."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Mmmm… lead sprinkles."
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