"Skinner is worse than ever. It's almost like making life miserable for one person has consequences for those around that person."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ah, Bart. Just the truant I was looking for."
"AHHHHH!"
The World Is My Teacher Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"I wasn't playing hookie, I swear. A gust of wind pushed me out of school and forced me here. It was the wind, I tell you, the wind!"
"Relax, Bart. I'm not going to punish you. I want to learn from you."
"Trying to get away from that old bat?"
"That lives in the school's heating duct? No, I'm trying to escape my mother. But she always finds me. I know from years of hide-and-seek research."
"I feel bad... that this somehow happened to you." "If you need a place to crash, you can use my treehouse. I just have to evict Milhouse for being behind on his rent."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Bart, why did I wake with one hand in a bowl of water and the other filled with uncanned canned chili?"
"Sorry, the temptation was too great. A prankster can't live so close to his prey."
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Why aye! Of course, ye can stay with me in me shack!"
"Thanks, Willie. I knew I could count on you to say yes, since you work for me and my request was an order."
"I need this job for me work visa. So make yourself at home, you threatin'-to-call-INS bastard!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"My Lord, man! The smell! The smell!"
"Aye, it'll get in ye. Inside these wood walls, you'll age like a fine whiskey in cask of Willie's man musk."
Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"Seymour!" "Seymour...? I should talk with my friends. Maybe one of them has spotted where he's gone."
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ha! No way, Seymour."
"Please let me stay at your apartment, Edna. It’ll be fun. We can do our own version of Silhouette Night!"
"I'm not playing "mommy" with you. No means no."
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 3[]
Character
Dialogue
"Certainly, Principal Skinner, you are welcome here. The humble of spirit may always crash in the Lord's House."
"Thank you, Reverend. I haven't been able to get a decent rest in days."
"Well, I hope our evening activity night won't disturb you. It's Bingo Night!"
"Bingo Night! I must flee before Mother comes to clean you out." "I'm sure God won't mind if I leave the church ducking out through this stained glass window."
"Let's get ready to roll them balls!"
Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"So that boy's run off... just like he did to me during Vietnam. And like he did his platoon in Vietnam."
"He asked me if he could crash at the church. I had assumed with your approval, of course."
"I’m sick and tired of his crashing. All he ever does is crash! If he crashes one more time, I’m done with him. DONE!"
"Well... let’s not do something hasty. Why don’t you relax, get the frustration out, and think it over some more."
"What I should do is exercise. I need to build up strangth, so I can spank the hair off him."
Couch Surfin U.S.A Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Sure, Skinner, stay as long as you need to. The Buddhist Temple is for all, especially those who want to upset their parents."
"It’s more that I want to avoid my parent. Not upset her."
"Same diff. Take any mat you like. Morning prayers start at 3am and never ends."
"Thanks. Wow, these mats are comfy. POW camp comfy!"
"Yeah. We got them used."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Prayer chanting ohms everywhere. Constant buzzing taking over mind. Must ohm get ohm outta ohm..."
Couch Surfin U.S.A Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"If you need a place to lay your head down, Principal Skinner, the Wiggum family would be delighted to help you out."
"Oh, thank you, thank you. Finally, an actual house."
"That is, if you promise to guarantee that little Ralphie gets A’s in every class from here on out."
"In all honesty, Chief, no one would ever believe that. It would turn our laughing-stock of a school into a veritable guffaw-cooperative."
"It’s called quid pro quo -- an old Latin phrase meaning "Gimme what I want.""
"So you want me to trade all that's left of my integrity for a roof and a bed? You have a deal."
"Yay! I now have a Princey Pal!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"After I get into UCLA, I'm going to get into rest of the letters of the alphabet! Like Q and smiley face and gumball!"
"I'm sorry, Chief, but I can’t be party to this. I just can’t."
The Prodigal Skinner Pt. 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"So ya finally come crawling back home? Well, I still see you standing. So get to more crawling."
"Ugh, I’m going to go break into a Brown House and crash there. Everyone else is doing it."
"No Seymour, wait! I just can't stand it anymore. All this time you've spent crashing has been the most irritating time of my life." "Can you promise me, if I be good, that you'll never crash again."
"Okay, I promise to there'll be no more crashing... *game crashes*"
The Prodigal Skinner Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"I know you always tell me fun is for the shiftless. So please don’t yell at me, Mother, when I tell you that was fun."
"I enjoyed it too, Seymour. I know it seems like I’m never not mad at you. But that’s only because you constantly make me angry."
"Maybe there is another target in town that you can mock and humiliate?"
"Hmmm. I could go razz those bags with skin tags at the Retirement Castle." "Bunch of pathetic nitwits with no house or a child to live with. Because their children locked them up in there."
"Wait, children can put their parents there and just leave them?"
"You don’t have the short and curlies, Seymour!"
"No Mother, I don't."
Trivia[]
Until some update on mid-2014, "Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 2" was "Make Agnes Do Crossword Puzzles".
100
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