The Call of the Campfire is a limited time main questline released on October 6, 2015, during the Treehouse of Horror XXVI Event's Act 1. It involves the Spooky Campfire and introduces the player to the event.
* will only appear if the player doesn't have them.
Dialogue[]
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Are there too many neck veins on this severed head?"
"Agghhhhhh!"
"Agghhhhhh!"
"Oh, Dad's just doing his annual Halloween decorating."
"Everscream Terrors! Every year we have the spookiest house on the block!"
"A jack-o-lantern vomiting its own seeds?! Homer, where do you get your ideas?"
"Other people."
"What if you put beer cans nearby, you know, like that's what made him throw up!"
"Lisa, let Daddy take care of the “ideas.”"
"You and Bart can make decorations. We need macaroni skeletons!"
"Lots of them."
Jobs Started[]
Character
Dialogue
"It's so demeaning! Sending us off to make crafts just to get us out of the way."
"Still, it's kinda like homework which means I will crush it!"
"Awww, these fruit-leather tombstones are turning out so adorable!"
"I FREAKING HATE THAT!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Halloween isn't about glitter-glue and pipe cleaners. It's about kids getting together, telling ghost stories and giving each other nightmares."
"Also candy."
"That's a great idea! We'll gather a bunch of kids and tell ghost stories! Outside, around a campfire!"
"Oh. I meant vegging out on the couch and watching a bunch of kids do Halloween on TV."
"But tell me more about this “outside.” It sounds fascinating."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"I've found lots of wood for our campfire."
"Wow, it looks really old. Where'd you find it?"
"There's a bunch of it by the water."
"Looks like it used to be part of an old throne or underwater church or gateway to another dimension."
"I ‘unno. Lotta stuff got ruined when dad blew up the town."
"It's covered with strange writing. I don't recognize it."
"I couldn't read it either, but I just figured it was cursive."
"Maybe we shouldn't burn mysterious wood we know nothing about."
"Should we cut down your precious trees?"
"Well, they're not AS precious to me now that we get 'em free at Springfield Heights, but…"
"It seems like a lot of sweaty work."
"Let's just pick up more old wood near the water."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"This wood feels odd."
"Cold. Like dead hands."
"Really? Mine feels hot and smells like brimstone."
"Mine is pulsing like a beating heart and oozing blood."
"Can we please stop describing things and just throw it on to the pile!"
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Bart, I think there is something evil about this firewood."
"Just because it smells a little and bleeds a little and emits otherworldly moans a little?"
"I think you're reading too much into this."
"I found this ancient-looking scroll near a big pile of this wood…"
"Look at the drawing: A spiky-headed boy, in a red shirt reading from an ancient-looking scroll…"
"…behind him, a giant tentacled demon rises…"
"And?"
"It's you! Look what's in the ancient word-bubble…"
"“K'waB'nga”"
"I don't say that."
"Below that it says, “Eet my C'thorts, man.”"
"More gobbledy-gook."
"And below that it says, “Im B'art Th'mpson hu the C'thell R U?”"
"Okay, I'll admit it's creepy. But we're building a Halloween campfire..."
"Creepy is exactly what we want!"
Bart's Scary Story Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Hoo-kay, for my spooky story I'd like to read off this scroll that Lisa's so scared of…"
"No Bart, that's exactly what you shouldn't…"
"Ah-ah! Listen with your ears, not with your mouth."
"I hate when you use teacher-phrases."
"Leagues beneath the inky deep, rests the evil and unpronounceable city of R'lyeh."
"Therein lies the demon known as…"
"M'nthster!"
"Dead but dreaming."
"Waiting for the stars to come right."
"And for the chosen underachiever to speak the words…"
"And break the spell which binds him:"
"C'thulhu-doodle-dooooooo!"
"Bart! Stop! You might actually call something forth!"
"And nobody wants that."
"I do."
"AGGGGGGHHHHH!"
"Bart! You fulfilled the prophecy and unleashed a malevolent entity!"
"I'm telling"
Bart's Scary Story End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Wh-who are you?"
"I am called… M'nthster."
"Muns-ther?"
"My name cannot be spoken by a human mouth."
"You need to roll the “r” with your face-tentacles."
"Mons-terrr?"
"Can we move on? I don't wanna get hung up on this."
"What do you want?"
"I come to make mankind free and wild. To turn him away from law and morality."
"I will teach the human new ways to scream and kill and revel in joy. Until all the earth is aflame in a holocaust of ecstasy."
"That's the plan, anyway. But I'm also gonna occasionally wing it. I don't want to get too scheduled."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Well, it's been nice summoning ya but it's getting late so, you know…"
"Time to get back into the campfire."
"I'm afraid it's not that easy."
"Your campfire story about me created a portal, which I used to enter this dimension."
"But that has since closed."
"You'll need to tell another creepy tale to create a portal from which I can leave."
"Deal!"
"Someone tell a ghost story. Something really creepy. We gotta scare tentacle-face back to wherever."
"Ooh! I've prepared a story! I even rehearsed in a mirror!"
"I practically scared myself."
"If I saw what you see in the mirror, I'd be scared too."
Martin's Scary Story Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"A young woman visited her blind grandfather who had moved into a new apartment."
"He complained bitterly."
“The nightclub next door keeps me up with music and laughter”
“And drunken shuffling, up and down the street, sometimes right by my door…”
“…Then, every night at 2:22 in the morning” ¦”
“…They start screaming…”
“…Every night, they scream, and then…”
“Silence.”
“And his grand-daughter said…”
“O. M. G. Grampa!”
“Right outside your window are the charred remains of a disco that burnt to the ground in, like, the 70's.”
“We didn't think you'd mind the crappy view, being blind and what-not…”
“…The fire that killed all those people…”
“…started at 2:22 AM!”
“
Zombies are now spawning from the campfire!
”
— In-Game Message
Martin's Scary Story End[]
Character
Dialogue
"That's your story? Undead disco dancers?"
"Nelson?"
"Already noogy-ing him."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 5[]
Character
Dialogue
"Well, Martin, M'nthy is still here. Your disco zombie story wasn't scary enough to open a portal."
"That's not exactly true..."
"AGGH! Disco Zombies!"
"Huh. In person, they actually are pretty scary."
"Zombies are wusses. They squish so easily. See?"
"That's not a Zombie you squished -- that's Ralph."
"He's just gets Zombie-ish when his blood sugar gets low."
"Brains. Brains! Or anything else to eat!"
"Look, poor Ralph is hungry. And he doesn't want to eat the defenseless animals. Right, Ralph?"
"Maybe we should make S'mores first... and THEN squish zombies with extra sugar energy."
"I agree with the plan because…"
"S'mores."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 6[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Obviously, M'nthster tricked us."
"He knew if we told another story we would call forth even more evil into the town."
"Yeah, I feel bad about that. Tell another story and this time, I swear, I really will leave."
"Okay! I've got a scary story!"
"Milhouse, no! We can't trust him! He is a denizen of the underworld!"
"Remember the fable of the Farmer and the Viper?"
"Hmmm, I don't know that one, how does that go?"
"Oh, it's my favorite Aesop's fable! Briefly, it goes like this…"
Lisa's Scary Story Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"A farmer found a viper, coiled and frozen in the snow. The farmer took pity and tucked the poor creature into his coat."
"As soon as the viper warmed, he gave the farmer a deadly bite. As the farmer lay dying, he said…"
“'Tis mine own fault, for I knew twas a viper 'fore I took it to my bosom.”
“
Snakes are now spawning from the campfire!
”
— In-Game Message
Lisa's Scary Story End[]
Character
Dialogue
"What the hell kind of farmer talks like that?"
"Ooh! Lisa wins the scary story contest!"
"Oh, come on!"
"Wait, I wasn't telling a scary story. I was making the point that if we interact with you -- you being an evil trickster -- we shouldn't be surprised when you..."
"Oh, you tricked me didn't you?"
"Snakes! They just appeared out of nowhere!"
"Of course they did."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 7[]
Character
Dialogue
"Lisa, I would like to introduce you to my spawn."
"I had no idea you had children!"
"Yes, I'm both father and mother to them."
"Oh! Did something happen to their mother?"
"No, that's just the way my kind reproduces. I mate with myself and--"
"Okay, just keep that vague."
"I was wondering if you would release my spawn into other Springfields."
"Of course. But I should warn you, I don't know if they're going to be safe there."
"Oh well. R'lyehian parenting philosophy is “Children should not be seen nor heard.”"
"Whereas humans see children as an extension of themselves, we think of our offspring as “someone else's problem.”"
"Do you ever think that maybe it's this kind of upbringing that makes you all demonic?"
"Nah, we're depraved from birth."
"Anyhoo, have fun giving these to your friends."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 8[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"I got more haunted driftwood to throw on the fire."
"I don't think we need it."
"Even though it's been burning for hours. The fire hasn't gotten even a little bit smaller."
"I know, it's kind of disturbing."
"But a little more cursed firewood and it will be disturbing and BIG."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Bart! You made the campfire bigger!"
"Don't you realize that the more powerful the campfire, the more monsters it will create?"
"I'm starting to think you like all the chaos and destruction being released into our town."
"That can't be a surprise to you."
"Yeah, I realized as I was saying it."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 9[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Okay, the fire is looking big and evil."
"Now it's my turn to tell a scary story."
Milhouse's Scary Story Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Milhouse, are you crazy? You know what's going to happen if you tell a monster story."
"I wasn't going to tell a monster story."
"I was gonna tell about the time my mom took me to take pictures with the Easter Bunny at the mall and it really creeped me out."
"That's not a scary story! It's a story about being scared!"
"You're scared of a bunny?"
"Not real bunnies. It was a costume, his eyes were just holes in a giant head. I could see the guy inside. He was chewing gum!"
"He told my mom that he liked her shoes and she was wearing Tevas – it was creepy!"
“
Bunnies are now spawning from the campfire!
”
— In-Game Message
Milhouse's Scary Story End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Look! Bunny rabbits!"
"Run!"
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 10[]
Character
Dialogue
"Wow Milhouse, that really sucked."
"I have to agree."
"I have been alive for eons and that was the lamest thing I've ever heard."
"I would wedgie you but I don't think it would do any good."
"Okay, I admit it: I'm ashamed of my cowardice."
"But shame-shaming me is wrong! Right, Lisa?"
"I dunno, Milhouse, you ran away from bunnies!"
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 11[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ha-ha! Human boys are so inept!"
"Whoa! Don't judge all of us by Milhouse! I'm America's favorite bad boy, man!"
"Sorry, where I come from it takes more than riding around on a skateboard and ending sentences with “man” to be considered…"
"“Bad.”"
"Listen, you and I are a lot alike. Between you and me, I LIKE that you tricked us into conjuring up ghoulies."
"What? Get out of here!"
"I've been known to get into some trickery myself. Check this out!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Moe's Tavern here."
"Uh, yes, I'm looking for someone, last name Tinkle, first name Ivana…"
"Listen up, everybody, Ivana Tinkle!"
"Just go already!"
"Actually, I gave you the wrong last name. It should be Kill-your-family-and-eat-their-souls."
"Correction guys! Ivana Kill-your-family-and-eat-their-souls."
"Run everyone! Moe's finally lost it!"
"That was great! It wasn't too dark was it?"
"Naw. It was dark, but not as dark as what that baby from Family Guy said."
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 12[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Okay, I have another story."
"C'mon, why do I have to keep reminding you what happens when we tell stories."
"I know what happens. And I want it to happen. M'nthster and I are friends."
"He's my brother from another Mother-Father."
Clockwork Bart's Scary Story[]
Character
Dialogue
"A vain young man was traveling on a train. Suddenly, he heard shouts coming from the front of the train."
"Part of the bridge ahead had fallen away. Everyone onboard was doomed."
"The man in the chair across from him calmly informed the boy that he was a genie and could grant him three wishes."
"But he only had seconds to make them..."
"The boy quickly replied, “I wish I could get rid of those last ten pounds...""
"The genie said, “What about all the other passengers on this train.”"
"The boy said, “Fine, they can be skinny too! And I never want to age!”"
"And the train plummeted into the ravine."
"The fire burned the flesh off all the passengers. Car after car of skeletons. The young man's skeleton was put in a museum and labeled, “Young Man from Train Accident.”"
"Everyone who looked at it came away with the feeling that he was probably an incredible jerk. The end."
“
Skeletons are now spawning from the campfire!
”
— In-Game Message
The Call of the Campfire Pt. 13[]
Character
Dialogue
"Excellent story! High five!"
"Really? I wasn't sure. I was thinking about going vampire but…"
"Stop that! It was perfect."
"I get why Bart would want to be friends with an all-powerful force of evil."
"But why would an Elder-god want to hang out with a 10-year-old boy. Aren't you more mature than that?"
"Bart is plenty mature. When I won our “longest loogie off the overpass” contest, he was all class."
"Respect, man, that thing was long."
The Unspeakable[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Oooh, what's this? Little tiny drinks of alcohol?"
"They're Jello-shots. And you can't drink them now -- you have to wait until they've Jello-ed."
"I love the idea of combining drunkenness with dessert."
"But I hate waiting."
"It'll give me time to change."
"I have to… shave."
"But your costume is a cat. Wouldn't any fur just add to the illusion?"