How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? is a premium side questline that was released on April 25, 2021, for the Rise of the Robots 2021 Event. It requires the premium character, Cyborg Willie.
Quests[]
| Quest | Requirements | Time | Reward | Triggered By |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 1 | Make Cyborg Willie Sweep Make Miss Hoover Ogle Cyborg Willie* |
8h 3h |
 100  10
|
Cyborg Willie |
| How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 2 | Make Lisa Examine Cyborg Willie's Implants Make Cyborg Willie Nervously Adjust His Servos |
2h 2h |
100 10
|
Cyborg Willie |
| How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 3 | Make Cyborg Willie Eat Donuts and Beer | 60m | 100 10
|
Cyborg Willie |
| How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 4 | Make Cyborg Willie Eat Haggis Make Lisa Ponder the Nature of Humanity |
4h 4h |
100 10
|
Cyborg Willie |
| How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 5 | Make Lisa Get Some Snacks Make Cyborg Willie Watch the Soccer Match |
60m 5h |
200 20
|
Cyborg Willie |
*Only appears if the player has Miss Hoover.
Dialogue[]
How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 1[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Willie, what are you doing just standing around with a broom and dustpan? Get to work! |
|
We are Cyborg. We do not understand this designation: Willie. |
|
|
Ugh, have you fallen in with that cosplay crowd? I was hoping this was just armor to protect from the recent beatings from the children. I wouldn't say no to some armor myself. |
|
|
We are Cyborg. Everything we do is to serve the collective. We cannot hear your thoughts, but your robotic nature suggests you are part of the collective. |
|
Is this a cultural Scottish thing? Look, just say "aye" and get to work. |
|
|
You are accepted as part of the collective. How can we serve? |
|
Your arms are literally a broom and dustpan. Sweep! |
|
My, my. A man with a rock-hard body who loves to clean? Be still my heart. |
|
We will sweep you off your feet. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
If you're a cyborg, why do you still have a Scottish accent? I thought cyborgs were all about assimilating. |
|
|
We may be a transhuman collective intelligence, but we are a Scottish one! And we'll twist the kilt of anyone who gainsays it! |
|
|
Well, then can you just stick to "aye"? |
|
|
We have accepted you into the collective and now answer to the designation Willie. We comply with your directives. |
|
So... |
|
Aye. |
How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 2[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Hey, Willie. Nice cosplay! Did I miss a convention announcement? |
|
|
Aye. |
|
|
Oh, what's it called? I hate being out of the loop. |
|
|
Aye. |
|
Is that an acronym? Ooh, I love trying to guess these. Uh...Accidental Yodeling Expo? |
|
|
Aye. |
|
Wow, really didn't think I'd get that on the first guess. |
|
|
We were told by the robotic man in the suit to say "aye" and sweep. So that is what we are doing. |
|
Something's not right here. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Oh my God! You're not cosplaying, you're actually a cyborg. You're a form of AI! |
|
Aye. |
|
|
Amazing. As a genderless AI what pronoun do you prefer? |
|
|
Aye. |
|
|
That's easy to remember. |
|
|
Hmm. I wonder if there is any vestige of the real Willie in there. |
|
|
If Principal Skinner were here, is there some place on his person that you would like to punch? |
|
|
Aye. |
|
|
*gasp* The real Willie is in there after all! I've got a new pet project! |
How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 3[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Okay, Willie. It's time for you to embrace your human side. |
|
|
Humanity is weakness. |
|
|
You're starting to sound more like a real Scot every minute! |
|
|
Let's get you some food. That's about as human as it gets. |
|
|
*stomach rumbles* |
|
|
Hmm. All we seem to have is beer and donuts, but I'm sure they'll do the trick. |
|
|
Just put it in my dustpan. I can shovel it into my gullet from there. |
|
Yuck! You've shoveled half of Springfield into that thing. Here, let me look at your arms. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Ach! That's terrible American crap! We'd rather lick the grease off a tractor. Willie needs some haggis! |
|
|
I don't know where you would find that in Springfield, but if anybody has sheep guts, it would be the Kwik-E-Mart. |
How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 4[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart! How may I help you? |
|
|
Haggis! |
|
I'm sorry? |
|
|
Haggis! Haggis! Haggis! |
|
Oh, Ganesh. He's choking! Quick, child, pour some Squishee down his throat to loosen the blockage. But please purchase first. Only $1.49 for a large. |
|
|
No, Apu, he needs haggis. |
|
|
If you wish to save him from choking, haggis is statistically more likely to have the opposite effect. |
|
Well, it's a Scottish delicacy. |
|
And people think Indian food is weird... |
|
|
We have found the haggis! *chewing* I'll take the lot! *burps* |
|
Thank you, come again. |
How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 5[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
After much research, I've determined that other than food, men also typically enjoy sports. Particularly football. Though that is a bit of a stereotype. |
|
|
Football! |
|
|
Okay, I'll turn on the game for you. |
|
|
Ach! Don't give me that American pansy rugby in three stone of armor! Give me real footie with nary a point scored in ninety minutes. |
|
|
Ah, you mean soccer! I think there's a match on another channel. Scotland and some French team I can't pronounce. |
|
|
Put it on, Lassie! I can't wait to see the motherland crush those cheese-eating surrender monkeys. |
|
|
I'll get some snacks. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
These cheese puffs are delightful for American garbage. |
|
You do remember that you can put away the dustpan and eat them with your hands, right? |
|
|
If I'm going to eat garbage, I'm going to eat it like garbage. Besides, it adds a nice gritty texture. |
|
|
Well, I think my work here is done. I can't tell what parts of his personality are Scottish and what parts are cyborg. |