Executive Lackey is a quest chain which is unlocked once the player reaches Level 25 and has completed all the Hospital Quests. There are 8 quests in total, and they are all named 'Executive Lackey' with Pt.1 - Pt.8 at the end. A list of all of the individual quests can be found below:

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward
Executive Lackey Pt.1 Send Homer To Do a Plant Shift 16 hours Cash100
Executive Lackey Pt.2 Build the Burns Manor 4 hours Cash100
Unlock: Smithers
Executive Lackey Pt.3 Build the Springfield Post Office
Make Smithers Check The Mail
4 hours

4 hours

Executive Lackey Pt.4 Make Smithers Write Malibu Stacey News Letter
Make Smithers Whip It!
6 hours

8 hours

Executive Lackey Pt.5 Make Smithers Become Drunken Wreck (x2) 12 hours

12 hours

Executive Lackey Pt.6 Make Smithers Sleep It Off in the Drunk Tank 24 hours Cash100 
Executive Lackey Pt.7 Make Smithers Attend An AA Meeting 2 hours Cash100
Executive Lackey Pt.8 Make Smithers Exercise for Mr. Burns 1 hour Cash100

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Executive Lackey Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Bah! I shouldn't keep being assigned menial tasks. I should be the one assigning them!"
"Where are the people to overuse my plant's energy? Where are the lawyers to cheat on my taxes?"
"Where are the Jehovah's Witnesses to feed to my hounds?"
Homer Icon.png "Yikes, a sad old man! I wish there was some other character I could unlock to take care of this instead of me."
"Anything I can help with, Sir?"
Mr. Burns Icon.png "What's this? Did one of those Thanksgiving parade balloons come to life?"
Homer Icon.png "No, Sir, I'm your average overweight-sized employee, Homer Simpson."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Employee, eh? Then get back to work at the plant, you donut-stuffed, four-toed sloth!"

Executive Lackey Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png "What? You've returned unscathed?"
"I had hoped you would lay waste to this infernal town once more and release me from this cholesterol-clogged prison."
Homer Icon.png "I can't believe I'm saying this, but why don't you join me at Moe's, Mr. Burns?"
"I find nothing picks up your spirits better than getting blackout drunk."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Socialize with you? Why I'd rather join Obama's drum circle."
"Which reminds me, I need a place to hide from the coming class war. I know what would be inconspicuous. A giant, fancy house!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Smithers! Don't think I'm paying you for the time you missed. They're called sick days, not explosion trauma recovery days."
Smithers Icon.png "I'm sorry, sir. All this time I have been, ahem, trapped in the closet."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "You mean you've been unable to escape my actual wardrobe after the explosion sealed you in there while organizing my sock garters?"
Smithers Icon.png "That is exactly what I meant."

Executive Lackey Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Smithers Icon.png Sir, we should make sure the plant is up to code... in case nuclear inspectors become premium characters."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Bah. All the plant neeeds is a good dusting. Employ a cleaning lady immediately.
Smithers Icon.png "Er, Mr. Burns, some might consider the term 'cleaning lady' to be sexist."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Sexist? Me? It's not as if I said 'cleaning wench,' as I had wanted to and said in my head."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Besides, everyone knows I'm a fierce supporter of a woman's right to clean."
Smithers Icon.png "No worries, sir. People are so desperate for work, I'm sure my inbox is already flooded with applications."
Smithers Icon.png "Now to go about whistling the 'Sorting & Judging' song."

Executive Lackey Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon.png "Smithers, there you are. I finally tracked down that rare '87 Malibu Stacey where they designed her head upside-down."
Comic Book Guy Icon.png "I assume you still want this priceless, freakish collectible."
Smithers Icon.png "Absolutely! It'll complete my set of misshapen dolls along with Torso Face Stacey and Anatomically Correct Tad."
Smithers Icon.png "Excuse me, while I rub this news in other people's faces, and then do my gloating dance."

Executive Lackey Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Smithers, now that I have you back and everything is running smoothly. I realize I don't need you."
Smithers Icon.png "Sir, please -- you just saw my hobbies. I'll go insane if that's all I do."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Now, now, Smithers. Remember, you've already fixed the trap door."
Smithers Icon.png *falling noises*

Executive Lackey Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Waylon Smithers?"
Smithers Drunk Icon.png *hick*
Wiggum Icon.png "We've been getting reports of someone using the Blue Houses as urinals. Save that behavior for the Brown Houses."
Smithers Drunk Icon.png "Why was I plucked from oblivion just to be rejected? Only a team of monsters could design this cruel fate!"
Wiggum Icon.png "Well, I don't really need to use my taser, but I just got the latest model. I've been dying to try it out."

Executive Lackey Pt. 7[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Ah, Smithers. You smell like Yale fraternity pledge. You're still going to have to repay me for your bail. At 36% rate of interest."
Smithers Icon.png "Sorry, Sir."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Even though you disgust me. I find myself in need of your services."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "I seem to have forgotten how to deal with this damnable contraption called 'laces.'"
Quimby Icon.png "Mr Burns, as prominent citizen and donor, I would like to offer you aid."
Quimby Icon.png "Have your Smithers call this number, and these folks will get him back on track."
Quimby Icon.png "They've been great at curing and covering up the many repeated escapades of my, er-um, nephew."

Executive Lackey Pt. 8[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Smithers Icon.png "Sir, may I express my warmest gratitude to be back in your soothing company --"
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Bah! I have no time for your obsequious rambling. Now is the time for my daily exercise."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Can't keep looking so pretty without putting in a little work."
Smithers Icon.png "Very good, sir. I'll get right on it."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Excellent! After you've built-up your vigor. I'll use that gypsy curse to steal it into my body."
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