"I sure did, free strip club buffet." *kissing* "Oh, hey Mom. You're here too? How were your weeks and/or years in limbo?"
"Not bad. I actually used the time to get my GED."
"What?! I didn't know people could do stuff while they were missing from this world." "Although I guess that makes sense... the rules always were a little fuzzy." "So now that you have a high-school degree, does that mean you'll get paid more to strip?"
"Actually it means I'm done stripping."
"That's right, son. I'm going to enroll in college!"
"But we don't have a college in Springfield." "Or a middle school." "Or a sewer system." "Heck, I haven't even seen a gas station."
"That's okay. College isn't about the campus -- it's about the experience. And I can still have that!" "The first thing I have to do is completely reinvent myself on all my social media." "Son, take care of that for me while I have a quick smoke."
"College has been the greatest years wrapped up in a week of my life."
"There's only one thing left to do to get the complete college experience..." ""The same thing Bill Gates did, the same thing Mark Zuckerberg did, the same thing pretty much everyone who was ever anything at Harvard did..."