"Good news! Starting right away, I will be offering all services at a discount!"
"Oh, really?"
"If there's one place people like to scrimp, it's with major medical procedures!"
Bargain Clinic![]
Character
Dialogue
"Hi, everybody!"
"Howdy, Dr. Nick!"
"Now open for business: my own personal Bargain Medical Practice Business!" "I can provide you with the most affordable service, medicine, and placebos available on the market!"
"Would lil 'ol I be able to 'ford this?"
"Sure! Even the lowliest of the society can afford my prices, or I take a kidney instead! Who needs two? Not you!"
A Real Doctor?[]
Character
Dialogue
"Hi, everybody!"
"Hi, Dr. Nick! So... I can get doctor's notes from you to cut class, right?"
"Sure! Come see me during my next shift. But remember, fraud costs extra!"
Statement To The Police[]
Character
Dialogue
"Hi, everybody!"
"Oh, hey Dr. Nick. I'm afraid we need to ask you a few questions down at the station."
"Sure! I've already cured or killed all the patients I was supposed to see today."
Faulty Promotion[]
Character
Dialogue
"Good news, everybody! I have some new affordable products here to show you!"
"Well hey, Dr. Nick! Before we start, weren't you involved in the Sleezy Bake oven scandal?"
"A complete overreaction! Most of those burns were purely cosmetic, which I agreed to fix for the low price of 49.95!"
"Well, when you put it that way... Why don't you come over to Channel 6 and tell us about some of your new products?"
Bargain Surgery[]
Character
Dialogue
"Hi, Julius Hibbert! Could I borrow your surgery place for a super quick cut-a-ma-thing?"
"Very well. You can wash your hands in that sink over there."
"I prefer to wait and wash my hands after surgery. That's when they're covered with the most blood."