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Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts is a side questline released on March 28, 2017, for the Secret Agents 2017 Event. It requires Hank Scorpio, as well as his costume: Mastermind Hank Scorpio.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 1 Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Conference With A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. 60m Cash100
XP10
Hank Scorpio
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 2 Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Attend Back-to-Back Meetings 8h Cash100
XP10
Hank Scorpio
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 3 Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Drown in Paperwork 4h Cash100
XP10
Hank Scorpio
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 4 Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Crunch the Numbers 60m Cash100
XP10
Hank Scorpio
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 5 Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Overthrow A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. 12h Cash200
XP20
Hank Scorpio

Dialogue Edit

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 1 Edit

Character Dialogue
Hank Scorpio Pleased Icon Hmn, someone sent me a package. Careful, Hank. It's most likely a deadly explosive device... Uggh, I can't wait. I just love getting things! I'm tearing it open!
Hank Scorpio Icon "Congratulations Mr. Scorpio, you have been selected as the most dynamic evil villain of the year!"
Hank Scorpio Icon "We would like to welcome you to the Advanced Council Representative of Nefarious Yearly Machinations!"
Hank Scorpio Pleased Icon This is so exciting! I've never been part of an organized group of supervillains before! Okay, Boy Scouts. But that was more about the bandanas.

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 2 Edit

Character Dialogue
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Happy Icon What's first on the evil agenda? Manipulate a national economy? Establish supremacy from space? Leak someone's emails to the public?
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Icon Hmn... I've got a meeting, "Discuss Q2 operational goals and planning"...
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Icon Maybe they save evil for the afternoons.
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Annoyed Icon Wait... MORE meetings?

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 3 Edit

Character Dialogue
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Happy Icon Oh, an email from the Council Advisory Board! I can finally get my newest, nefarious plan off the ground!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Icon "Council Member 00-08, your proposal entitled "Controlled Moon Orbit Destabilization" has been greenlit for production". Yes!...
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Annoyed Icon "Please prepare a detailed cost and manpower assessment and be sure to include a potential operations timeline".
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Surprised Icon "Assuming all required paperwork is in order, your operation will begin as early as... 2025"?

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 4 Edit

Character Dialogue
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Annoyed Icon All this red tape puts a stranglehold on my moving forward!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Annoyed Icon Writing reports, presenting scheme prospectuses, analyzing data... When do masterminds get to launch actual operations?!
Number 1 Fedup Icon I understand your frustration, Hank, but the process works.
Number 1 Laughing Icon My organizations numbers have been up for the last three quarters in a row!
Number 1 Icon Although, they're still denying my requests for a Squishee machine in the break room.

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 5 Edit

Character Dialogue
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Icon Ladies and gentlemen of A.C.R.O.N.Y.M., by focusing on datamining and analysis, I have discovered the most effective plan to propel Globex to the forefront of the world stage!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Icon By the time you leave this meeting, each of your organizations will have been infiltrated and overthrown by my best operatives!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio Happy Icon It's been wonderful working with you all. If any of you survive the purge, I'd absolutely love to overthrow you all over again!
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