Dark Matters was the main questline for Act 1 of the SciFi 2016 Event.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Dark Matters Pt. 1 Build the PolyVac 6s Cash100
Dark Matters Pt. 2 Make Homer Spit Plutonium Into Acid to Form the Black Hole 6s Cash100
Dark Matters Pt. 3 Make Homer Wriggle Through the Wormhole 6s Cash100
Fake Dark Matters Pt. 4 #1 Make Homer Do 37 Experiments for Hawking - None Auto
Fake Dark Matters Pt. 4 #2 Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task - Cash100
Dark Matters Pt. 4 Make Homer Kidnap Alternate Homers from Other Universes - Cash100
Dark Matters Pt. 5 Tap Some Robots (x5) - Cash100
Alternate Homers Make Evil Homer Case the Joint
Make Alternate Homers Fraternize (x4)
Dark Matters Pt. 6 Use the SciFighter - Cash100
The questline Do Me a Solid starts.
Dark Matters Pt. 7 Make Homer Relax in the Brown House
Make Frank Grimes Prepare High Voltage Defenses*
Matter Icon.png25

*It only appears if Frank Grimes is unlocked.

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Dark Matters Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon.png Ladies and gentleflavens, mark this day on your calendar! For today begins a glorious new age of scientific discovery!
Homer Icon.png Sorry, I already marked today as Taco Tuesday. And I wrote it in pen.
Professor Frink Icon.png Sir, I don't actually care about your salsa-stained calendar. I was trying to sound dramatic.
Homer Serious Icon.png Try harder.
Professor Frink Happy Icon.png Very well. Behold my latest invention... drum roll please... with the drumming and the rolling... the PolyVac!
Lisa Icon.png Neat! What is it, some kind of super-computer-controlled particle detector for studying black holes?
Professor Frink Embarrassed Icon.png Actually, little girl, it's a super-computer-controlled, uh... yes, exactly. What she said.

Dark Matters Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon.png Now, all we need to study a black hole is a, uh, black hole to study.
Bart Rollingeyes Icon.png Black holes suck!
Marge Annoyed Icon.png Bart! Watch your language, unless you meant that as a scientific observation.
Bart Icon.png Rest assured, madam, I did not.
Professor Frink Icon.png The potty-mouthed lad is correct. Black holes absorb, or colloquially, "suck," everything within their event horizon.
Bart Angry Icon.png Dammit! I hate accidentally making scientific observations.
Marge Scared Icon.png Professor, is it safe to have a black hole within just a few squares of our schools and peanut carts?
Homer Icon.png Relax, Marge, he's a scientist! He wouldn't ask us to do anything dangerous.
Professor Frink Icon.png Quite right, Homer. Now grab a mouthful of that plutonium over there and spit it into this boiling acid to initiate the black hole implosion.
Homer Mouthfull Icon.png I'm way ahead of you!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon.png Now, using the PolyVac, I will prove once and for all that nothing can escape the black hole!
Lisa Curious Icon.png But didn't the great physicist Stephen Hawking theorize that black holes emit particles known as Hawking radiation?
Professor Frink Angry Icon.png Hawking Shmawking! I'm sick of that know-it-all with his fancy awards and his show-off chair. There's no such thing as Hawking Radiation.
Hawking Radiation Icon.png That's not what I heard.
Professor Frink Icon.png Who said that, in a strangely familiar computerized voice?

Dark Matters Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon.png Great Caesar's Gloiven, it's Stephen Hawking! B-but how did you get here?
Lisa Shocked Icon.png The Hawking Radiation condensed into a physical manifestation of Hawking himself!
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon.png Thereby conclusively proving the existence of my namesake radiation. Now I'm sure to win the Nobel Prize, and maybe the even more prestigious Hawking Medal.
Professor Frink Sad Icon.png I've never even won the Frink Medal.
Stephen Hawking Icon.png I surmise black holes are actually terminal endpoints of wormholes leading to parallel universes. We'll need someone brave and expendable to test my theory.
Homer Annoyed Icon.png Not me, buddy! I'm sick of doing tasks. How come Moleman never has to do anything?
Hans Moleman Icon.png Yes, pick me, please, I'm begging you.
Stephen Hawking Icon.png This sounds like a job for Homer Simpson.
Homer Serious Icon.png Grrr. Okay. But I swear, crawling into this singularity is the last task I'll ever do!
Stephen Hawking Icon.png Probably. Now wriggle on in there.
Homer Sad Icon.png Sheesh, this wormhole is kind of tight... can you let out the event horizon a little?
Stephen Hawking Intense Icon.png I said wriggle!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Annoyed Icon.png I hope you're happy, Hawking. I proved your theory correct. I made it through the wormhole and lived three lifetimes in another dimension.
Stephen Hawking Icon.png And all you missed was Taco Tuesday.
Homer Sad Icon.png This is the worst day of my lives!

Fake Dark Matters Pt. 4 #1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon.png The multiverse is ripe for exploration!
Stephen Hawking Icon.png So much work to do! Homer, imagine all the work you've ever done, then multiply it by infinity.
Homer Icon.png Zero times infinity? How much is that?
Stephen Hawking Intense Icon.png About 37. Get busy!

Fake Dark Matters Pt. 4 #2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Furious Icon.png Forget it, Egghead! No more tasks for me!
Homer Annoyed Icon.png From now on, whenever anyone sends me on a task, I'm going to refuse!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Proud Icon.png No! I refuse! Heh heh.

Dark Matters Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Doh Icon.png D'oh!
Homer Thoughtful Icon.png I've gotta get more clever here. To be truly lazy, I'll need to assemble an all-star team of super-dupes to take over my workload.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png I'm back. Or should I say, WE'RE back! Meet the alternate universe all-stars!
Strongman Homer Icon.png Hello.
Evil Homer Icon.png Charmed.
Cool Homer Icon.png What up, Ho-bro.
Barbarian Homer Icon.png Glargggh!
Lisa Confused Icon.png Wow, two of them couldn't speak at all. Yet they still seemed slightly smarter than Dad.

Dark Matters Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Bart Surprised Icon.png Look, there's something else coming through the space sphincter! A real live robot!
Robot Good Icon.png I AM ROBOT NUMBER 1.
Lisa Shocked Icon.png Here comes another!
Robot Good Icon.png I AM ROBOT NUMBER 2.
Homer Thoughtful Icon.png I wonder what the next guy's name will be.
Bart Happy Icon.png There comes another... and another!
Stephen Hawking Curious Icon.png That makes five.
Professor Frink Angry Icon.png Quit showing off, Hawking.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png A veritable army of robots from a parallel universe. What could go wrong?
Comic Book Guy Icon.png ...I said in the most sarcastic way imaginable.
Comic Book Guy Sad Icon.png ...Which is how I say everything, so I can understand if there was some measure of confusion regarding--
Robot Icon.png ROBOTS... ATTACK!!!!!!!
Comic Book Guy Happy Icon.png Swish.
Brockman Icon.png I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
Stephen Hawking Intense Icon.png Fight back! Every able-bodied man, woman, and child!
Homer Annoyed Icon.png That's everyone but you!
Stephen Hawking Intense Icon.png Less talking, more fighting.

Alternate Homers[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Happy Icon.png This is awesome! A small army of Homers, and I'm the average guy. Which makes me the best!
King-Size Homer Icon.png You're the best at nothing! Me? I can overeat better than anyone here, and check out my excellent figure.
Strongman Homer Icon.png In my universe, I'm Mr. Universe!
Barbarian Homer Icon.png Me pillage good!
Cool Homer Icon.png It's all cool, homies. I like my music and my universes to be alternative.
Evil Homer Icon.png I suppose I'm the prankster of the group. Always up for a round of good-natured criminality.
Homer Guilty Icon.png Welcome to my universe, fellas! Sorry if it's a little cheap looking. My Sky Finger is kinda tight with the donuts.
Evil Homer Icon.png Oh, don’t sell yourself short! This universe may be a bit shabby, but it's far superior to mine.
Evil Homer Icon.png My Sky Finger only made it to level two before devoting his life to Candy Crush Saga!
Evil Homer Icon.png I don't even have my own Marge! I have nothing but a fence post and a pathetic 1x1 square of flowers!
Evil Homer Icon.png But this universe is a veritable cornucopia of riches, ripe for the plucking… mwahahaha!

Dark Matters Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Serious Icon.png My Homers versus your robots!
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon.png They're not my robots.
King-Size Homer Surprised Icon.png Help! I'm being beaten to a king-sized pulp!
Lisa Alarmed Icon.png It's no use! There's dozens more robots pouring out of the wormhole!
Homer Scared Icon.png Tapping isn't working, and it's our only interface!
Professor Frink Icon.png I have an idea!
Stephen Hawking Icon.png I have a better idea. Fire up the PolyVac!

SciFighter First Win Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Happy Icon.png We did it! We destroyed the robots!
Bart Sneaky Icon.png What else can we blow up? Grampa's dentures? Martin's underwear?
Nelson Happy Icon.png Haw-Haw! I was able to visualize that.
Stephen Hawking Icon.png I'd like to blow up all those things and more. But unfortunately, the PolyVac has a four-hour cooldown time.
Professor Frink Icon.png According to the, uh, laws of science and what have you, most things take four hours.

SciFighter First Loss Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Alarmed Icon.png Crud, the robots defeated us. This could be the end of the human race!
Nelson Happy Icon.png Haw-Haw!
Nelson Icon.png And I direct that partially at myself. I can dish it out, but I can also take it.
Stephen Hawking Icon.png Relax. We'll be fine. The PolyVac should regenerate in four hours.
Professor Frink Icon.png According to the, uh, laws of science and what have you, most things take four hours.

Dark Matters Pt. 7[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png Professor Hawking, can't we stop the robot invasion by just closing the wormhole?
Stephen Hawking Icon.png Easier said than done. I recruited a local expert on String Theory to advise us, but her analysis is somewhat difficult to follow.
Stephen Hawking Icon.png For now, our only hope of survival is to place a highly skilled nuclear engineer in control of the PolyVac. Homer, can we count on you?
Homer Icon.png I'm your man! I'm really good at pressing buttons! Unless they're close together. Or far apart.
Frank Grimes Stern Icon.png Oh, God. You're relying on Homer Simpson to keep us alive? I'm the only competent engineer in this entire town!
Stephen Hawking Surprised Icon.png Competent? Didn't I pass your grave already?
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