Couch Surfin' U.S.A is the second part of the level 29 quests.


Quest Requirements Time Reward


The World Is My Teacher Pt. 1 Make Bart Skip School 8h Cash100
The World Is My Teacher Pt. 2 Make Skinner Crash at Bart's Treehouse 12h Cash100
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 1 Make Skinner Crash at Willie's Shack 12h Cash100
Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 1 Make Agnes Feed the Pigeons 60m Cash100
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 2 Make Skinner Crash at Willie's Shack 12h Cash100
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 3 Make Skinner Crash at Willie's Shack
Make Agnes Hustle at Bingo
Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 2 Make Agnes Sweep up the Town 6h Cash100
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 4 Make Skinner Crash at the Springfield Buddhist Temple 12h Cash100
Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 5 Make Skinner Crash at the Wiggum House 12h Cash100
The Prodigal Skinner Pt. 1 Make Agnes and Skinner Do Silhouette Night 12h Cash100
The Prodigal Skinner Pt. 2 Make Agnes Taunt Old People 24h Cash100


The World Is My Teacher Pt. 1Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "Skinner is worse than ever. It's almost like making life miserable for one person has consequences for those around that person."

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Skinner Icon "Ah, Bart. Just the truant I was looking for."
Bart Icon "AHHHHH!"

The World Is My Teacher Pt. 2Edit


Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "I wasn't playing hookie, I swear. A gust of wind pushed me out of school and forced me here. It was the wind, I tell you, the wind!"
Skinner Icon "Relax, Bart. I'm not going to punish you. I want to learn from you."
Bart Icon "Trying to get away from that old bat?"
Skinner Icon "That lives in the school's heating duct? No, I'm trying to escape my mother. But she always finds me. I know from years of hide-and-seek research."
Bart Icon "I feel bad... that this somehow happened to you."
"If you need a place to crash, you can use my treehouse. I just have to evict Milhouse for being behind on his rent."


Character Dialogue
Skinner Icon "Bart, why did I wake with one hand in a bowl of water and the other filled with uncanned canned chili?"
Bart Icon "Sorry, the temptation was too great. A prankster can't live so close to his prey."

Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 1Edit


Character Dialogue
Willie Icon "Why aye! Of course, ye can stay with me in me shack!"
Skinner Icon "Thanks, Willie. I knew I could count on you to say yes, since you work for me and my request was an order."
Willie Icon "I need this job for me work visa. So make yourself at home, you threatin'-to-call-INS bastard!"


Character Dialogue
Skinner Icon "My Lord, man! The smell! The smell!"
Willie Icon "Aye, it'll get in ye. Inside these wood walls, you'll age like a fine whiskey in cask of Willie's man musk."

Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 1Edit

Character Dialogue
Agnes Icon "Seymour!"
"Seymour...? I should talk with my friends. Maybe one of them has spotted where he's gone."

Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 2Edit

Character Dialogue
Mrs. Krabappel Icon "Ha! No way, Seymour."
Skinner Icon "Please let me stay at your apartment, Edna. It’ll be fun. We can do our own version of Silhouette Night!"
Mrs. Krabappel Icon "I'm not playing "mommy" with you. No means no."

Couch Surfin' U.S.A Pt. 3Edit

Character Dialogue
Rev. Lovejoy Icon "Certainly, Principal Skinner, you are welcome here. The humble of spirit may always crash in the Lord's House."
Skinner Icon "Thank you, Reverend. I haven't been able to get a decent rest in days."
Rev. Lovejoy Icon "Well, I hope our evening activity night won't disturb you. It's Bingo Night!"
Skinner Icon "Bingo Night! I must flee before Mother comes to clean you out."
"I'm sure God won't mind if I leave the church ducking out through this stained glass window."
Agnes Icon "Let's get ready to roll them balls!"

Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 2Edit

Character Dialogue
Agnes Icon "So that boy's run off... just like he did to me during Vietnam. And like he did his platoon in Vietnam."
Rev. Lovejoy Icon "He asked me if he could crash at the church. I had assumed with your approval, of course."
Agnes Icon "I’m sick and tired of his crashing. All he ever does is crash! If he crashes one more time, I’m done with him. DONE!"
Rev. Lovejoy Icon "Well... let’s not do something hasty. Why don’t you relax, get the frustration out, and think it over some more."
Agnes Icon "What I should do is exercise. I need to build up strangth, so I can spank the hair off him."

Couch Surfin U.S.A Pt. 4Edit


Character Dialogue
Carl Icon "Sure, Skinner, stay as long as you need to. The Buddhist Temple is for all, especially those who want to upset their parents."
Skinner Icon "It’s more that I want to avoid my parent. Not upset her."
Carl Icon "Same diff. Take any mat you like. Morning prayers start at 3am and never ends."
Skinner Icon "Thanks. Wow, these mats are comfy. POW camp comfy!"
Carl Icon "Yeah. We got them used."


Character Dialogue
Skinner Icon "Prayer chanting ohms everywhere. Constant buzzing taking over mind. Must ohm get ohm outta ohm..."

Couch Surfin U.S.A Pt. 5Edit


Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon "If you need a place to lay your head down, Principal Skinner, the Wiggum family would be delighted to help you out."
Skinner Icon "Oh, thank you, thank you. Finally, an actual house."
Wiggum Icon "That is, if you promise to guarantee that little Ralphie gets A’s in every class from here on out."
Skinner Icon "In all honesty, Chief, no one would ever believe that. It would turn our laughing-stock of a school into a veritable guffaw-cooperative."
Wiggum Icon "It’s called quid pro quo -- an old Latin phrase meaning "Gimme what I want.""
Skinner Icon "So you want me to trade all that's left of my integrity for a roof and a bed? You have a deal."
Ralph Icon "Yay! I now have a Princey Pal!"


Character Dialogue
Ralph Icon "After I get into UCLA, I'm going to get into rest of the letters of the alphabet! Like Q and smiley face and gumball!"
Skinner Icon "I'm sorry, Chief, but I can’t be party to this. I just can’t."

The Prodigal Skinner Pt. 1Edit

Character Dialogue
Agnes Icon "So ya finally come crawling back home? Well, I still see you standing. So get to more crawling."
Skinner Icon "Ugh, I’m going to go break into a Brown House and crash there. Everyone else is doing it."
Agnes Icon "No Seymour, wait! I just can't stand it anymore. All this time you've spent crashing has been the most irritating time of my life."
"Can you promise me, if I be good, that you'll never crash again."
Skinner Icon "Okay, I promise to there'll be no more crashing... *game crashes*"

The Prodigal Skinner Pt. 2Edit

Character Dialogue
Skinner Icon "I know you always tell me fun is for the shiftless. So please don’t yell at me, Mother, when I tell you that was fun."
Agnes Icon "I enjoyed it too, Seymour. I know it seems like I’m never not mad at you. But that’s only because you constantly make me angry."
Skinner Icon "Maybe there is another target in town that you can mock and humiliate?"
Agnes Icon "Hmmm. I could go razz those bags with skin tags at the Retirement Castle."
"Bunch of pathetic nitwits with no house or a child to live with. Because their children locked them up in there."
Skinner Icon "Wait, children can put their parents there and just leave them?"
Agnes Icon "You don’t have the short and curlies, Seymour!"
Skinner Happy Icon "No Mother, I don't."

Trivia Edit

  • Until some update on mid-2014, "Mom Is The Loneliest Number Pt. 2" was "Make Agnes Do Crossword Puzzles".
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.