Chocolate Pain

Chocolate Pain
Level	40
Release Date	April 30, 2014
Number of Quests	16
Preceeded By	A Perfectly Cromulent Job
Succeeded By	Vulgari Aspirations

Chocolate Pain is the main questline for the Level 40 update.

Quests

Quest	Requirements	Triggered By	Time
Chocolate Pain Pt. 1	Make Lisa Write a Letter of Complaint Make Ralph Try to Sign his Name	Skinner	2h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 2	Build the Ah, Fudge! Factory	Lisa	24h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 3	Make Lisa Go on a Fudge-Tastic Tour Make Ralph Go on a Fudge-Tastic Tour Make Miss Hoover Play a Freemium Game on her Phone	Miss Hoover	6h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 4	Make Lisa and Ralph Stick Together Make Cocoa Beanie Take Miss Hoover on a Private Tour	Cocoa Beanie	16h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 5	Make Lisa Go to School Make Ralph Go to School Make Miss Hoover Get Ready for her Date	Lisa	6h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 6	Make Miss Hoover and Cocoa Beanie Go on a Date	Miss Hoover	12h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 7	Make Miss Hoover and Cocoa Beanie Go to Krusty's Cabaret	Miss Hoover	8h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 8	Make Krusty Cabareducate Make Miss Hoover Get Cabareducated Make Smithers Get Cabareducated	Miss Hoover	24h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 9	Make Krusty Hold a Dance-Off Make Miss Hoover Attend a Dance-Off Make Smithers Attend a Dance-Off	Miss Hoover	4h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 10	Make Miss Hoover Dance!	Cocoa Beanie	24h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 11	Make Dolph Like Kearney's Video 1,000,000 Times Make Kearny Put Up a ViewTube Video Make Jimbo Like Kearney's Video 2,000,000 Times	Dolph	8h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 12	Make Parents (10x) Report Inappropriate Teacher Conduct Make Skinner Hide Under his Desk	Marge	12h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 13	Make Marge Intervene with Miss Hoover Make Miss Hoover Defy Marge Make Homer Eat Confiscated Candy	Skinner	60m
Chocolate Pain Pt. 14	Make Miss Hoover and Cocoa Beanie Make Big Plans	Miss Hoover	60m
Chocolate Pain Pt. 15	Make Children (10x) Gang Up on Cocoa Beanie Make Cocoa Beanie Get Beaten Up	Lisa	24h
Chocolate Pain Pt. 16	Make Miss Hoover Avoid Work	Lisa	8h

Dialogue

Chocolate Pain Pt. 1

Character	Dialogue
	"Ah, the second grade class is so peaceful and silent. That's the sound of learning."
	"No it isn't! Miss Hoover told us to sit quietly with our heads in our heads and then disappeared."
	"I'm going to write a letter of complaint to the school board!"
	"Good idea. Class, everyone write a letter of complaint. That should keep your busy while I go find Miss Hoover."
	"Should we sign our names?"
	"Yes, that should keep you busy all day."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 2

Character	Dialogue
	"Principal Skinner! you burnt our letters of complaint in your waste paper bin!"
	"There's no heat in my office and it's the only way to keep my feet warm."
	"But I found Miss Hoover. She's just taking a little break..." "Chain-smoking in the ladies room and crying because she'll never get married." "Perhaps I can lure her out with a field trip."
	"To someplace educational?"
	"To someplace."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 3

Character	Dialogue
	"Welcome to our field trip at a commercial fudge establishment, children."
	"Thanks, school mommy!"
	"How does this contribute to our education?"
	"There's a math lecture by the Ah, Fudge! mascot, Cocoa Beanie."
	"Two plus two equals fudge!"
	"That's that answer I got too!"

Chocolate Character

Character	Dialogue
	"Mmm, you're a tasty-looking lady, Miss Hoover."
	"You're pretty smooth yourself, for a talking bean."
	"Outside I'm dreamy, inside I'm creamy. How about a private tour, courtesy of C.B.?"
	"Well, I have always had a thing for chocolate-toned men." "Let me just check on the kids. Is everything okay, Lisa?"
	"Ralph fell in he caramel vat. We pulled him out, but he was so sticky that we all got glued to him!"
	"Perfect. Roll yourselves into a corner and wait for me."
	"Yay, I'm a katamari!"

End

Character	Dialogue
	"That was some tour, Cocoa Beanie. You took me to places I'd never been."
	*Giggles*
	"Sounds like the kids are having a good time too."
	"No, we're being tickled by rats trying to lick off the caramel!"

Chocolate Pain Pt. 5

Character	Dialogue
	"Wow, Miss Hoover, you're really in a good mood."
	"I've got a date tonight with Cocoa Beanie. He's such a wonderful man." "Well, part man, part legume." "I'm so happy I'm even going to teach you math."
	"Great! I love math... but you don't."
	"That's why you'll be learning the Krusty Burger Mathy-Meal way!"
	"Hey, hey! Let's learn percentages." "Each Mathy-Meal contains 500% of your daily recommended amount of tripe."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 6

Start

Character	Dialogue
	"What are we doing on our date tonight, Cocoa?"
	"Everything, baby! Dining, dancing… and then back to my pod for some sweet romancing."
	"Did you say “pod”??
	"Cocoa beans come from pods, baby. Look it up!"

End

Character	Dialogue
	"Wow, this dinner at the Gilded Truffle was superb."
	"The chef and I are friends. I let him shave some of me off to use in his desserts."
	"But I had the chocolate mousse. Does that mean I…?"
	"Ate me."
	"That's a little creepy."
	"I'm not saying it isn't."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 7

Start

Character	Dialogue
	"Cocoa, this date is so fun I want to stay up all night." "I'll put on a Transformers movie in class tomorrow and sleep in the cloakroom."
	"Then let's hit Krusty's After Hours Cabaret! They have fantastic entertainment there." "And then Krusty performs."
	"I didn't know we had live theater in this town, after Kenneth Branagh's Shakespearean troupe was run out of town."
	"His last words were: "To flee or not to flee."
	"He should've just fled. He'd still have his ear.

End

Character	Dialogue
	"Hey thanks, you two. You were the only people who stayed to listen to my stand-up routine."
	"We would have left but you locked the doors to the club."
	"There's no fire department regulation I won't violate for the sake of comedy."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 8

Character	Dialogue
	"You know, I always wanted to be a cabaret dancer." "But I took a career aptitude test and it said I should either be a teacher or a prison guard."
	"Two great choices. They both have fantastic unions."
	"You could still be a dancer, Elizabeth! You're young, you're sexy, and you smoke like a chimney.
	"What do you say, Krusty? Could I be one of your dancers?"
	"Well, I do have an opening. One of my gals ran off with a bisexual German count. Or maybe that was a movie." "But you'll have to get some training. And you'll have some tough competition."
	"Back off, Hoover. This dance job is mine!"

Chocolate Pain Pt. 9

Start

Character	Dialogue
	"Waylon and I finished our cabareducation. Now who gets to be in the Krusty Cabaret Rockettes?"
	"Tough choice. Two great dancers, only one opening." "On the one hand, Smithers has fantastic movements and owns his own leggings." "On the other hand, Miss Hoover is a woman." "I guess the only way to decide is a dance off."

End

Character	Dialogue
	"Congratulations, Miss Hoover, you win. I'll hire you for 10 bucks an hour and all the leftover booze you can drink."
	"Elizabeth is too good for this craphole. We're taking her moves to the streets."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 10

Start

Character	Dialogue
	"Okay, Elizabeth. You dance here on the street corner, and I'll pass around a hat for some money." "I've already seeded it with 15 Fudge Bucks."
	"I've got a fever, and the only cure is public exhibitionism. Let's dance!"

End

Character	Dialogue
	"Everyone loved your street corner dancing, Elizabeth." "We made eighty-two dollars, plus two Colonial era farthings Mr. Burns thought were still legal tender."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 11

Character	Dialogue
	"Miss Hoover looked pretty good dancing around in that skimpy outfit."
	"I could watch her all day. Is there a way to fail backwards into grade two again?"
	"Don’t worry. I got the whole thing on video. I'm posting it now!"

Chocolate Pain Pt. 12

Character	Dialogue
	"Homer, have you seen this video of Miss Hoover dancing half-naked?"
	"Hm. It sounds NSFW, and I only watch NSFW videos at work."
	"I don't approve of Lisa's teacher flouncing in the streets like a floozy."
	"That's a very politically incorrect thing to call her, Marge."
	"Now we say she's a self-empowered floozy taking charge of her sexuality."
	"Well, I'm going to alert the other parents. Principal Skinner has to do something about this." "It's time to activate the HMMPH network: “Home-Makers Making Persnickity Hmmphs."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 13

Character	Dialogue
	"Miss Hoover, the parents of this school are concerned about your semi-nude public dancing, and I don't blame them."
	"We never blame the parents... in public. In private we blame them for everything."
	"We're concerned about the person you've been dating. He's a man who makes money by getting other people to perform..."
	"An impresario!"
	"He's your imp. And he's imping you all over town!"
	"I don't care. I love him. Plus he keeps me fixed up with these."
	"Pills?! I'm confiscating them!"
	"No, they're N&N candies from the factory."
	"Candy?! I'm confiscating them!"

Chocolate Pain Pt. 14

Character	Dialogue
	"Cocoa, everyone is saying you're just using me to make money."
	"No baby, it's not like that. I love you! And I got big plans." "First, we're getting out of this two-bit town and moving to Shelbyville. That's a three-bit town at least." "We’ll open our own cabaret. Shelbyville is crawling with nightclub-entertainment loving bigshots and mobsters." "And then I'm going to make you Mrs. Cocoa Beanie!"
	"It sounds wonderful! But aren't your parents opposed to mixed marriages?"
	"Yeah, but they'll shut up once we start giving them grandbeans."

Chocolate Pain Pt. 15

Start

Character	Dialogue
	"Miss Hoover is moving to Shelbyville with Cocoa Beanie. We have to stop her, Bart!"
	"Why? You said week-old bread could teach better than her."
	"Better the devil you know."
	"The last substitute teacher we had was Gil, and the homework he gave us was to go out and sell aluminum siding for him."
	"Now, should we reason with her or make an emotional plea?"
	"I think it'll be quicker if we just go stomp her boyfriend."

End

Character	Dialogue
	"Ow, ow! Elizabeth, help, I'm being beaten by schoolchildren."
	"Sorry Cocoa, I'm breaking up with you."
	"I thought you were strong and self-confident. But even Ralph is roughing you up."
	"It's not my fault. It's a hot day. I get all soft and melty!"
	"I just can't respect you. Goodbye forever."
	"And kids, beating up the mascot counts as homework."
	"I'm earning a gold star!"

Chocolate Pain Pt. 16

Character	Dialogue
	"I'm sorry it didn't work out with your boyfriend, Miss Hoover."
	"Eh, I had fun, and Krusty says I can always dance at his cabaret on weekends." "Apparently his current dancer is kind of a drama queen."
	"I need grape flavored lip gloss, flowers in my dressing room, and *sobs* someone to hug me and tell me I'm worthwhile."
	"Anyway, it's great to be back at the career I love the most."
	"Teaching?"
	"Making kids lie with their heads on the desk while I go out and smoke."
	*sigh* "I have to stop setting people up like that."

Trivia

• For Part 11 of the questline, since both Kearney and Jimbo are premium characters, they are not needed to continue the questline. If the player has them, then their quests will appear, otherwise only Dolph's quest will appear. The questline will advance normally regardless.
• The questline's name is a reference to Chocolate Rain, a song and viral video by Tay Zonday.