Cheap Space Homer

Cheap Space Homer is a limited time questline released on January 21st, 2016 with the Deep Space Homer 2016 Event.

Quests Edit

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 1	Make Quimby Work Out Payments Earn NARA Certification Stars (x2)	3hr -	100, 10, Space Training Center	Quimby
The Quest Narobics starts
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 2	Earn NARA Certification Stars (x10)	-	100, 10, Deep Space Homer	Quimby
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 3	Tap the Space Training Center Earn NARA Certification Stars (x30)	- -	100, 10, Shuttle Hangar	Deep Space Homer
The Quest The Space Bar starts
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 4	Make Associates Collect Payments* (x3) Earn NARA Certification Stars (x45)	3h -	100, 10, Deep Space Homer's Gather Insect Specimens job	Quimby
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 5	Make Deep Space Homer Gather Insect Specimens Earn NARA Certification Stars (x50)	8h -	100, 10, Deep Space Homer's Walk Like a Hero job	Lisa
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 6	Make Simpsons Put Rocket Ship Together** (x4) Earn NARA Certification Stars (x100)	3h -	100, 10, Upgraded Rocket Launch Pad	Deep Space Homer
The Quest Nightfall? starts if the player has Springfield Observatory.
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 7	Make Homer Launch the Space Ship	6s	100 10	Quimby
Cheap Space Homer Pt. 8	Make Homer Put Out Rocket Fuel Fires	2h	100 10	Auto

* Associates include: Don Vittorio, Fat Tony, Legs, Louie. Snake.
** Simpsons include Bart, Grampa, Homer, Lisa, Marge.

Dialogue Edit

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	With our new space program, think of all the hot alien women we can grope inappropriately.
	Er, I mean all the fascinating scientific discoveries we can grope inappropriately.
	While the universe is very large, Mayor Quimby, we have yet to discover alien life.
	There's the Sky Finger. Our intelli-didily-gent designer.
	Mayor Quimby, out of respect to science, can we please stop holding meetings with random people in the room?
	Sorry but I welcome all constituents who want to observe our government's dignity and professionalism in action. Now let's cut some space checks!

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	At the very least, this space program might help kids see that learning is fun!
	I hope so. Then again, I said the same about my Henry David Tho-robot.
	Didn't that robot go crazy and try to stab someone?
	No! It was PROGRAMMED to go crazy and try to stab someone. Big difference.

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 2 Edit

Character	Dialogue
	This space program needs an astronaut! Someone both capable of earning NARA certification stars and relatable to the common man.
	Look. I know you're hinting at me coming out of astronaut retirement but I gave all that up when I learned I could get astronaut ice cream on Earth.
	You were an astronaut?
	You don't remember? I trained, went into space, survived an emergency landing? I also held up the Inanimate Carbon Rod at the parade.
	You were the Inanimate Carbon Rod holder? Why didn't you say so?
	No one remembers? That does it -- I'm entering the NARA certification program.
	Great! All you need to do is sign your name.
	Too much work. I quit.

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	How come we have to do all this work to get launched into space when rocks get catapulted right away.
	Psst. Homer. I think I might have an easier way to earn your NARA stars.
	If it's steroids, I'm not interested. My testicles are finally at a size I like.
	There's another way. Why earn stars when you can make stars?
	So… you're a wizard?
	Give me money and I'll give you fake NARA stars. I don't know how to break it down more than that.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Homer, I'm worried that all this training to become an astronaut is too much for you.
	Plus you seem to be going through our aluminum foil budget a lot quicker than I planned for.
	Don't worry Marge, we're almost finished! All we need is to somehow get our hands on a space shuttle.
	There isn't even a space shuttle?
	Mayor Quimby bought a hangar without realizing the shuttle inside isn't included. First rule of space: always read the fine print. Second rule of space: don’t try to breathe.

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	I could build us a state of the art space shuttle in no time. At least next to no time if you rushed it with few donuts.
	Great! How much is that gonna cost -- two yoga mats and a sprig of mistletoe?
	50 billion dollars. But it's worth every penny... right down to its novelty smashed penny machine.
	How about instead I buy this vintage USSR shuttle from 1963?
	It doesn't have NARA certification, but it does have Kremlin's Seal of Not Having Killed Too Many Dogs.
	I just need to take out a totally legit business loan.
	Aw yes! I am here from a legitimate business to provide a legitimate business loan.
	Just don't get behind on payments or I'll legitimately break your legs. Capisce?

End Edit

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Dad, I thought Mom talked you out of this! Do you know how dangerous it is to fly a spaceship?
	Of course I do, honey. Daddy was an astronaut, remember?
	No one in the town does, remember?
	But if you're going to do this, at least let me teach you the basic science skills you need to survive.
	I keep hearing that from coworkers at the nuclear plant. I don't need to come home and hear it from my family, too!
	I suppose I could practice collecting ant samples like I will on Mars. Although I hear ants on Mars are ten feet tall and wear top hats.
	Alright, lesson one: learning to tell the difference between science and fever dreams.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Woohoo! I always knew I had it in me.
	If by “it” you mean disturbingly soft bones and a heart composed of 40% soft cheeses, then yes.
	I can't help but feel I'll be to blame if things go horribly-
	Right? You were going to say if things go horribly right?
	Just remember, when you die -- I mean if -- no I definitely mean when -- you'll die a hero!

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 6 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Weather clear, potato chips opened, bladder empty, neck pillow fluffed, talking aloud commenced.
	Oops, almost forgot – tray table up!
	Now to just hit the launch button… Where's the launch button?
	Hold up just a moment there! A shuttle lacks the necessary propulsion to take it into orbit without rockets!
	Plus it should be on the launch pad.
	Don't use your high brow science speak to confuse me Frink! I know what I'm doing... at least as far as space-toilets go.
	Don't worry about what he says Homer, we'll help you put it all together. How hard can it be?
	It's not like it's rocket science or anything.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Voila! I formulated the rocket fuel in the basement with a D.I.Y. video on Viewtube!
	Plus learned some interesting life hacks and read some very hateful comments.
	Lisa, I could not do this without your brilliant mind, nor your mother's equally brilliant rice crispy treats.
	Hey! I deserve some of the credit. I'm the one who snuck in the plutonium for an extra big bang.
	By Glaven's ghost! Plutonium? That could destroy us all! Although I suppose it all won't matter soon...
	What do you mean?
	Oh, it's still research in progress. But I'll share my findings with you at the Springfield Observatory's slam poetry event and intellectual salon.

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 7 Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Good news, Homer! The Inanimate Carbon Rod re-entered the atmosphere and has been recovered!
	So you're off the hook. The rod can take over the mission and you can go back to being... what were you before? A bum?
	Mark my words. No rod – inanimate carbon, Serling or Stewart – will steal my thunder. I trained for this mission, and I will carry it out!
	Now is the rocket ship automatic or stick? Because I can't drive a stick.
	I'm starting to regret not paying more attention during the training process.

Cheap Space Homer Pt. 8 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Sorry, I didn't realize the parking brake was still on. And that Houston was not our destination.
	Homer, you might be the worst astronaut in world history.
	Even worse than the chimpanzees?
	Even worse than that Collins guy!
	The least you could do is put out the fires you caused! Some of us sober astronauts are serious about getting into space!
	Fine. I'll put out the literal fires but I refuse to try to fix any of the emotional ones.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Homer, you really saved the day!
	Saved the day? He crushed our dreams, ruined our space program, and called me a nerd on several occasions!
	But Homer's incompetence gave the Inanimate Carbon Rod the opportunity to pry open the water valve and douse those fires.
	That rod deserves another ticker tape parade! And I deserve another bribe from the ticker tape lobby.