Burns Almighty is a side questline that was released on December 6, 2016, for the Winter 2016 Event. It requires New God Mr. Burns, an outfit for Mr. Burns.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Burns Almighty Pt. 1 Make Smithers Research Paganism
Make Mr. Burns Dream About Being a God
8h
8h
Cash100
Experience10
Mr. Burns
Burns Almighty Pt. 2 Place The New God Mr. Burns Statue - Cash100
Experience10
Mr. Burns
Burns Almighty Pt. 3 Make Smithers Order a Custom Muscle Suit Online
Make Mr. Burns Wait Impatiently in His Office
4h
4h
Cash100
Experience10
Mr. Burns
Burns Almighty Pt. 4 Make New God Mr. Burns Show Off the Guns 4h Cash100
Experience10
Mr. Burns
Burns Almighty Pt. 5 Make New God Mr. Burns Check Himself Out
Make Smithers Think of a Plan B
8h
8h
Cash100
Experience10
Mr. Burns
Burns Almighty Pt. 6 Make New God Mr. Burns Put On a Show 12h Cash100
Experience10
Mr. Burns

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Burns Almighty Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png Barbarians at the gate, Smithers! Drat, I TOLD Hadrian his precious wall wasn't high enough.
Smithers Icon.png It's just the usual gang of idiots, sir. Not barbarians. They're experimenting with Paganism.
Mr. Burns Icon.png A new religion, eh? So the God of Abraham finally got the boot. I told him this would happen.
Mr. Burns Icon.png Smithers, learn as much as you can about this “Paganism.” Let's see if we can turn this to my advantage...

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Shouting Icon.png What have you found, Smithers? Report!
Smithers Icon.png They're worshipping an eclectic assortment of deities. Loki, Poseidon...
Mr. Burns Icon.png Poseidon?! We went to boarding school together. Captain of the water polo team, but not very impressive upstairs.
Smithers Icon.png Uh, the Pagans seem to spend most of their time making offerings to the gods.
Mr. Burns Diabolical Icon.png Offerings? I like offerings...

Burns Almighty Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png Smithers, if these goat men and witchy women are going to worship anyone, I want it to be me.
Mr. Burns Sad Icon.png Make a god of me. Is that so much to ask?
Smithers Icon.png What about a 60 foot statue depicting you as an almighty dispenser of justice?
Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png Ugh. Justice is really not my bag. But if you think they'll buy it...

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Angry Icon.png Smithers? Why don't the people kneel before me?
Smithers Sad Icon.png There is, perhaps, a *slight* physical difference between this statue of a muscle-bound Adonis and, uh, you. Sir.
Smithers Sad Icon.png I don't think they recognize you.

Burns Almighty Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png We have to transform my body to match this statue, Smithers!
Mr. Burns Diabolical Icon.png I must become the awe-inspiring embodiment of physical might!
Smithers Eyeroll Icon.png I'll renew your gym subscription and stock up on whey protein...
Mr. Burns Shouting Icon.png No gyms! No Schwarzenegger-ian Ferrigno, I.
Mr. Burns Icon.png Find another way...

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Happy Icon.png Is the muscle suit here? Let me see it, man!
Smithers Icon.png Not yet, sir. The make-up department from BHO's “Game of Chairs” is hard at work.
Smithers Icon.png In related news, there's a rumor online that you've been cast as the Ice Zombie King for Season 7.
Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png Bah! I don't watch the show. I'm books-only.

Burns Almighty Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Smithers Excited Icon.png Good news sir, we've received your muscle suit!
New God Mr. Burns Surprised Icon.png Oof! *wheeze* This thing weighs *wheeze* a ton!
New God Mr. Burns Surprised Icon.png Tell me *wheeze* Smith-- *wheeze* --ers, am I the very picture *wheeze* of robust *wheeze-wheeze* might?
Smithers Sad Icon.png Uhhhh...

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
New God Mr. Burns Surprised Icon.png I don't understand *wheeze*. Why are *gasp* people not *wheeze-cough* awed by me?
Smithers Sad Icon.png I am deeply sorry sir.

Burns Almighty Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
New God Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png Smithers, you will make me a god, or I'll have your hide!
Smithers Excited Icon.png Well, sir, you're already a god to me...
New God Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png ...
Smithers Sad Icon.png I'll get to work.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Smithers Icon.png Sir, I have an idea!

Burns Almighty Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Smithers Icon.png We want to impress the people so much that they worship you, right?
Smithers Icon.png Then we must give them... spectacle! Hollywood-quality special effects! Pyrotechnics!
Smithers Excited Icon.png A production worthy of Hollywood's Golden Age!
New God Mr. Burns Icon.png You mean now? Because I consider this to be Hollywood's Golden Age.
New God Mr. Burns Icon.png Seriously, did you SEE “Zoolander 2?” Pure movie magic.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
New God Mr. Burns Melting Icon.png Arrgh...
Smithers Surprised Icon.png Sir? Sir! Are you alright?
New God Mr. Burns Dead Icon.png God...is...dead.
Smithers Sad Icon.png Don't die on me, sir. Please don't die.
Mr. Burns Annoyed Icon.png I'm only being dramatic, you nitwit. I'm naturally flame-retardant. Benefits of petrifyingly-advanced old age.
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