Bindle There, Done That

Bindle There, Done That is a premium quest that features Lampwick.

QuestsEdit

DialogueEdit

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 1Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"G. Rover Gripes! Springfied?! How'd I end up back in this piddlepot town?"
	"Hey everyone! We've got a new old coot!"
	"It's Chester Lampwick, the original creator of Itchy the Lucky mouse in 1919. Which would make him old enough to be..."
	"...dead?"
	"That's what I should be! But somehow I ain't!"
	"There, there. Why we continue to exist is a mystery to us all."
	"So drink up! There's no need for answers when you can't remember the questions."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"I mean, jeez, who are you? If you're here, who's left to return to Springfield? Señor Ding-Dong?"

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 2Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"When I last was in Springfield, I had me a legally mandated fortune and fingers on my gloves." "Now I'm just another hobo with a rocket car."
	"If it weren't for this explosion changing all the rules, I'd have walked off into the cush life of a billionaire, dancing the hula in crystal houses with Rockefellers and Araby sheiks."
	"Did you ever do any of those strange words?"
	"Hey, you don't know the direction a night can head in! Possibilities abound!"
	"You returned not just as an impoverished vagabond." "You're an esteemed contributor to the legacy of a great cartoon show—Itchy & Scratchy! And I know how to prove it."
	"Aw, little girl, it's nice of you to rebuild my solid gold house. Now if you can just put it by the water…"
	"No, better than any material possession. I'll help you experience adoration in the eyes of your young fans." "We'll have a signing party at our house for all the kids in town!"
	"Alright. But tell your friends to keep their sticky paws off my bindle. I hate a gunky bindle."

MiddleEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Children of Springfield, meet the silly-named genius Chester Lampwick! The man you didn't know you should admire but should!"
	*Ahem…yes.* "Bindle off limits."
	"What's a bindle?"
	"You're holding a phone. Look it up."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"No, the violence is a metaphor! It represents all the different objects that you can stab in people's eyes." "You mollycoddled nollywads don't get the subtlety of my work one drop!"
	"Mr. Lampwick, I don't think that's what a metaphor is—"
	"Pah! Why try to speak to the masses when everyone's a nincompoop." "Being a valued member of a community is worthless."

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 3Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"What am I doing back in this place? I know I was never meant to be more than a marginal, one-off, side character."
	"Had me a story, and dejabbers, it was a good one! Felt like a hero then." "Now I'm just another oddball. Might as well be going up to strangers, shouting "Ooggitty boogitty!" "Ooggitty boogitty! That's it!" "I can be something better than a hero. A weirdo who irritates people into getting what he wants."

MiddleEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"May I take your order, Mr. Penniless Vagrant?"
	"Yeah, I'll have an ice cold soda, hold the soda, hold the ice, and fill the cup with loose change."

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Here are seven Krusty Burgers, three Meat-Flavored Sandwiches, and two The Cloggers. Take them and go!"
	"Not sure what all this free food is going to do for this abscess in my arm pit, but if that's what you want, young man, that's what I'll do." "Heh heh. Chester J., you sly, silver marmoset. Bless your pus-filled body."

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 4Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Good to see my panhandling tricks are as trusty as ever." "Time to remake the Lampwick fortune the old-fashioned way: taking it from other people."
	"You shouldn't get money by begging. This is America."
	"Find a job, go to work, and duck your responsibilities while you collect paychecks you don't deserve, like the rest of us."
	"You think this is the life I wanted?" "If I had my druthers, I'd be an internationally celebrated cartoonist, or I'd live under a tree made of diamonds, whose nuts are smaller diamonds I could sell above market price." "No, I didn't get to choose my fate. I just gotta play the role I was assigned, and make the best of it." "Which means escaping my role and changing my fate!" "Soon, this cat will once again be a top dog."
	"So you dream of being the opposite of a hobo. What would that be exactly... an "oboh"?
	"That's not the opposite of hobo, ya crackbrained cretin." "The opposite of a word is that word backwards AND upside down. I'm going to be an "oqoy". "Wanna know how to pronounce "oqoy"? It's "LAMPWICK!"

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"All that time shaking my hand can, and all I've got is a single, lousy dollar?" "The people in this town are the opposite of good! They're "poo6"!

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 5Edit

StartEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"I can still Vanderbilt my way back to the top. All I need to do is invest this in the hobo's stock market." "ne lotto Scratch-R, my snake-charming friend."
	"Thank you for the stereotype I am not thankful for." "Would you like a regular Scratch-R or the high-roller Golden Scratch-R, reserved for only the best…of whoever is willing to pay for it?"
	"Give me the fancy one. I've got a feeling that on this day Chester J. can't lose!"

EndEdit

Character	Dialogue
	"Donuts?! That's what I get for my buck?" "What nob-headed ninnies would want donuts instead of actual money?"
	"You should show more respect for the power of the donut. They are the most powerful currency of all." "They are how you are even here!"
	"Consarnable pastries! If these garbage rings are how I got here, I'd rather have garbage."