"When I last was in Springfield, I had me a legally mandated fortune and fingers on my gloves." "Now I'm just another hobo with a rocket car." "If it weren't for this explosion changing all the rules, I'd have walked off into the cush life of a billionaire, dancing the hula in crystal houses with Rockefellers and Araby sheiks."
"Did you ever do any of those strange words?"
"Hey, you don't know the direction a night can head in! Possibilities abound!"
"You returned not just as an impoverished vagabond." "You're an esteemed contributor to the legacy of a great cartoon show—Itchy & Scratchy! And I know how to prove it."
"Aw, little girl, it's nice of you to rebuild my solid gold house. Now if you can just put it by the water…"
"No, better than any material possession. I'll help you experience adoration in the eyes of your young fans." "We'll have a signing party at our house for all the kids in town!"
"Alright. But tell your friends to keep their sticky paws off my bindle. I hate a gunky bindle."
"What am I doing back in this place? I know I was never meant to be more than a marginal, one-off, side character." "Had me a story, and dejabbers, it was a good one! Felt like a hero then." "Now I'm just another oddball. Might as well be going up to strangers, shouting "Ooggitty boogitty!" "Ooggitty boogitty! That's it!" "I can be something better than a hero. A weirdo who irritates people into getting what he wants."
"Here are seven Krusty Burgers, three Meat-Flavored Sandwiches, and two The Cloggers. Take them and go!"
"Not sure what all this free food is going to do for this abscess in my arm pit, but if that's what you want, young man, that's what I'll do." "Heh heh. Chester J., you sly, silver marmoset. Bless your pus-filled body."
"Good to see my panhandling tricks are as trusty as ever." "Time to remake the Lampwick fortune the old-fashioned way: taking it from other people."
"You shouldn't get money by begging. This is America." "Find a job, go to work, and duck your responsibilities while you collect paychecks you don't deserve, like the rest of us."
"You think this is the life I wanted?" "If I had my druthers, I'd be an internationally celebrated cartoonist, or I'd live under a tree made of diamonds, whose nuts are smaller diamonds I could sell above market price." "No, I didn't get to choose my fate. I just gotta play the role I was assigned, and make the best of it." "Which means escaping my role and changing my fate!" "Soon, this cat will once again be a top dog."
"So you dream of being the opposite of a hobo. What would that be exactly... an "oboh"?
"That's not the opposite of hobo, ya crackbrained cretin." "The opposite of a word is that word backwards AND upside down. I'm going to be an "oqoy". "Wanna know how to pronounce "oqoy"? It's "LAMPWICK!"