Big Jamshed is a limited time questline released on January 13, 2016. It is the main questline of the Much Apu About Something Promotional.
Quests[]
Quest
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Requirements
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Time
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Reward
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Triggered By
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Big Jamshed Pt. 1
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Make Sanjay/Apu* Prepare a Room for Jamshed
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4h
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100 10
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Auto
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Big Jamshed Pt. 2
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Make Jay Do Yoga
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8h
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100 10
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Jay
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Big Jamshed Pt. 3
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Make Jay Prepare Food at the Kwik-E-Mart Make Homer Shop for Broceries
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2h 2h
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100 10
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Jay
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Big Jamshed Pt. 4
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Make Jay Work a Kwik-E-Mart 60mr Shift Make Springfielders Buy Health Food (x6)
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60m 3h
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100 10
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Jay
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Big Jamshed Pt. 5
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Make Springfielders Buy Unhealthy Food (x6)
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3h
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100 10
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Bart
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Dr. Nick's Remedies
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Make Dr. Nick Run a Seminar Make Springfielders Buy Discount Preserved Food (x6)
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4h 4h
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100 10
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Dr. Nick
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*Apu needs to perform the task if the player hasn't unlocked Sanjay
Dialogue[]
Big Jamshed Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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My son little Jamshed is coming back to Springfield. He's been, as they say, stuck in limbo!
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I'm not too good at limbo. Those sticks are racist against fat guys.
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Not that limbo! I am talking about the state of transitional oblivion!
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In other words, college.
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Word on the street's that your son is taking over your spot at the Kwik-E-Mart.
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It's true. I have de-cockroached my last Squishee machine. I want to do something different with my life.
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Ah, the old midlife crisis. Too bad you're not young, rad, hip, ballin' and buzzfeedin' like me, Daddy-o.
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Mr. Simpson, you're a walking monument of a midlife crisis.
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Shows what you know. Dr. Hibbert said according to my cholesterol count my midlife happened when I was 20.
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Big Jamshed Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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I'm ready to take my jam to the Kwik-E-Mart! And all it took was a $200,000 business degree.
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Now it's time for some hot yoga!
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Ah, my son – with maturity you have abandoned your anti-traditional views!
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Nah, Pops, I'm still not down with that Indian shizz. Yoga's just what's chill right now.
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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You look a little... older than I remember.
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Yeah, doing a full course load at Wharton while mopping floors in a bank all night will do that to a kid.
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Hmmm... nobody around here ever seems to age.
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I credit clean living. And yes, I said that without a trace of self-reflective irony.
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Big Jamshed Pt. 3[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Why don't I find it surprising that all the food is packed with unhealthy preservatives?
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What's your beef with preserved fake-beef? The scientists at the National Preservatives Council say it's good for you.
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You should listen to my science Homer. Look at me, I'm in awesome shape!
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Stop by, and I'll show you how to make your favorite foods with kale and cauliflower.
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Who knows, maybe one day you'll be able to manage a pushup!
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I'll have you know I'm an expert at the “lowering down” part of pushups.
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Big Jamshed Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Come by the Kwik-E-Mart. We have healthy vegetarian culture foods, and our new inclusive signature: the LGBTQIA sandwich!
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Sounds like my kind of lunch food!
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It's lentils, goat cheese, bacon, tomato, quinoa, iceberg lettuce and asiago.
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Wait a minute there! There's bacon in there! How can you say that's vegetarian?
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I said vegetarian CULTURE. Pure vegetarianism is so “the aughts.” Why would you want to live without bacon?
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He's got you there, Lisa. I eat so much of the stuff that people are always telling me they smell bacon when I'm around.
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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I sense a bit of hypocrisy. You're anti-Kwik-E-Mart, AND you work here?
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It's all about the Benjies, girl-dude. I need to maintain my lifestyle somehow.
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And the Kwik-E-Mart isn't going anywhere. You'd literally need a tank to take this place out!
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Cool coincidence! The police department is considering getting a tank right now!
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No, piggy, I don't mean LITERALLY literally! I want to crush the Kwik-E-Mart from the inside and then set up my own store!
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A totally millennial, religiously void, and secular store! How I wish for such a place!
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I can grant that wish for your own store... or for a tank! Whichever method you use, just offer me some donuts!
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“
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Check the Store now for new temporarily available items with new quests.
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”
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— System Message.
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Big Jamshed Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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That's strange. I'm feeling more aggressive, my voice is getting a little deeper, and... helllllo, Sherri and Terri!
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Teehee, hi, Bart!
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Another grey hair... my eye wrinkles are expanding... my tramp stamp is fading. WHAT'S GOING ON?
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HI EVERY OLD BODY!!! What it seems you are experiencing is the natural process of aging!
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Aging? But I anti-oxidize and hydrate every day! What caused all of this? Is it something in the food?
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In all actuallyness, it is something NOT in the food! The preservatives in the terrible food you used to eat kept you preserved! Who'd a thunk it?!
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End[]
“
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Tune into this week's Simpsons and find out what else Jay plans to do with the Kwik-E-Mart. Sunday 8/7 central on FOX!
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”
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— System Message.
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Dr. Nick's Remedies[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Have you ever heard that “transfatty foods are bad for you?”
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To that, I say: “Get real, everybody!” Countries that eat trans fats dominate the world!
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But correlation doesn't equal causation.
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I never said it did. I just said that eating trans fats makes you great!
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Gallery[]
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Promotionals |
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Regular Quest · Premium Quest | | 2012 | |
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