"This town is awash with crime and I'm going to give that no-good Mayor of ours a piece of my mind."
"You know I'm the Mayor, right?"
"Listen, you. I've had my house egged, my lawn donuted, and my porch flaming dog poo'd. Things gotta change around here!"
"I got one of those flaming bags too! It seems there's a serial pooer out there! I'll expand the police force immediately but only because it affects me, too!"
"This is way over their heads! We need organized muscle to sniff out these sickos!"
"Hey, you're right. A deal with mafia is just what we need to straighten that town out."
"If I've learned anything from the years I've spent in organized crime, it's that if you want them to do for you, you have to do for them."
"I'll build a discrete location for them in which to meet and crack some skulls!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Look who we have here, boys. Little Caesar has arrived. How's my Michael? Ready to join the family business?"
"Sorry Papa, waste disposal might be fine for you, but I hate getting my hands dirty unless it's from making chicken cacciatore!"
"Now, Michael. The business is in your blood -- you can't escape it."
It's time to use that meat cleaver to different use... if you know what I mean."
"I mean cutting people that we dislike, instead of food."
"I don't know what you mean, but I won't do it."
"Papa, I tried to get into the Sopranos, but I hated it! Doesn't that tell you something?"
"I'm sorry, but it's a chef's life for me."
Baking Bread Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Luigi, I need a favor."
"Anything for da prodigy young chef! What-ah you need?"
"I need a job so my father will stop asking me to work with him."
"And since you know the cooking business, and I know the cooking, maybe you and I could partner up?"
"You wanna just give up your privileged childhood and bake-a da bread?"
"That's right. And if you work with me, bread will be a-baked with yeast, not packing peanuts."
"But the peanuts isa my signature!"
"Okay fine. The packing peanuts can stay."
"Aww, our first compromise!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"The food! It actually taste good!"
"Yeah, not everything can have packing peanuts as the main ingredient."
"I heard you the first time, okay?"
Baking Bread Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"It seems we've entered a time which warrants much celebration!"
"We'll throw a party!"
"Have you heard about Luigi's latest menu, it is getting fantastic reviews!"
"Then that is the menu we shall order from!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Superb!"
"Luigi! Bring us your fine chef, so that I may thank him in person in front of all our guests."
"It's me, Papa!"
"Ah, Michael -- you've changed your mind. Legs, give my boy the pinstripe fedora I've been saving for him."
"No, I was your chef tonight! It was all me!"
"You have greatly disgraced our family. And the food was okay at best."
"Now Fat Tony you don't need to get so worked up about it."
"I wish my own daughter could cook as well as yours!"
"Homer, you always know how to make me feel better."
Baking Bread Pt. 4[]
Character
Dialogue
"Hey Legs, did you hear the crepe Don Vittorio has been talking about Michael d'Amico's cuisine?"
"He thinks this is making the boss weak, wants Fat Tony to get his "just desserts""
"Did you know that it's actually "just deserts", but a lot of people didn't know the meaning of the word "desert," pronounced diz-urt..."
"... as in "to get what's coming to you,", so they just started saying "desserts," because it sounds the same. In truth, it doesn't really make sense."
"But it worked so well with my food puns."
"Do you want it to be right, or do you want it to be easy?"
"You're right. Thank you. Anyway, Vittorio told me in private that he wants you to pick the target and the method."
"We'll hit Luigi's place -- he's the cause of all this."
"So what's the nature of the gig... Clipping berries? Nicking cheddar? Lifting dough?"
"See! There you go! Those are great puns! And that is exactly what we are gonna do."
Baking Bread Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ay! Robbed again by two miscreants-a! What's-a worst, they ate-a the prized soufflé!"
"Looks like they're sending a message to me to stop cooking."
"I'll tell you the problem, you're showing weakness, Michael! Other mob-families are going to be after us!"
"The Don has given them the OK to crack us like eggs, whack us like weeds, pick us off like olives."
"You NEVER pick off olives. But these wise guys, no problem, I'll handle this."
"I'm gonna give them to the count of 10, then I'm gonna fill their guts full of bread!"
"Great food pun, boy!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Legs, Louie, I bring you these trays of food as a peace offering."
"Oooh, what do we have here?"
"*removes lid*"
"What the hell is this?!"
"It's a ghost pepper!"
"THE HOTTEST PEPPER IN THE WORLD! What do you think about me holding this to your neck?!"
"Now, kid. Let's not do anything rash here."
"Rash! Exactly!!"
"Just put down the ghost pepper, and we'll work something out."
Baking Bread Pt. 6[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Having this ghost pepper at my neck made me realize how silly our little disagreement was."
"I thought it would."
"I am assuming this means peace between us?"
"You got it, kid!"
"Fair warning, though. You still ain't in the Don's favor."
"Seems like we'll need a new, more discret place to cook. Anybody know any good old abandoned warehouses?"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Now that we have a spot to control supply, we need distribution."
"I'm always looking to an odd job or two."
"Hey Luigi, who the hell is this guy?"
"He'sa good kid, I'ma sure you can find him some tasks!"
Baking Bread Pt. 7[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Michael, I'm proud you've incorporated the family business into your new business."
"We always need a cook on the inside, right Papa?"
"So you have been listening all these years."
"We're really raking in the cabbage these days."
"But cabbage ain't money. So, I need your support. How about it?"
"Alright, son. Also, I want you to have Legs and Louie. You're eight years old, you should have your own muscle by now."
"Thanks, Papa. Now I've got to rake some more cabbage."
Middle[]
Character
Dialogue
"So what's the deal you have set up for us today, kid?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary. Just taking care of some competition from out of town."
"Grab a rake, boys."
"No refreshing slaws for our competitor's pork tenderloin today *evil laugh*"
Baking Bread Pt. 8[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"It should now be clear that I'm not in the food business, I'm in the empire business."
"What are we going to do with all that citrus slaw?"
"We've slaved over it for hours!"
"We'll be bribing the cops with it, of course! Only the finest for those fat, fat pigs."
Middle[]
Character
Dialogue
"*munch munch munch* This is delicious! Who'd have thought there were slaws other than cole?"
Baking Bread Pt. 9[]
Character
Dialogue
"Now that the police are properly bribed, let's go murder all the restaurant owners taking business away from Luigi's"
"You're the boss, kid. But for future reference, we usually disguise what we're going to do with some pithy wordplay."
"Hmmm... let's get home and take out the trash?"
"You'll get there, kid."
Baking Bread Pt. 10[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Heya-Michael! I just wanted to tell you how MUCH the force enjoyed the food you brought us, and..."
"Wait just a moment! What's that you have there in the bag?"
"Is it celery, or is it tomato? A chef doesn't reveal his secrets."
"*gulp*"
"You're making gazpancho aren't you? That explains the red stuff leaking out of the bag"
"Yeah, but here's the thing: I hate gazpancho. Now, I can't arrest you for that, but you will have to dispose of it."
"You got it, copper."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Well done, Michael! We can finally bury the hatchet between us."
"You did bury the hatchet didn't you?"
"Actually, it was a cleaver."
"That's my boy! Such actions have restored the Don's faith in our family organization."
"Normally I'd say hide the evidence better, but this way teaches everyone a lesson!"