Bad Cops is a Level 33 quest chain that includes the unlock of Eddie and Lou. It is the main quest chain of Level 33. Although only 5 of the quests in the Level 33 quest chain are titled "Bad Cops", the other few titles of the chain were either the same length or shorter and therefore the overall quest chain is referred to as "Bad Cops".

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Triggered By Reward
Bad Cops Pt.1 Make Snake Rob the Kwik-E-Mart  1h Cash100
Bad Cops Pt.2 Place the S.W.A.T. Van 0s Cash100
Bad Cops Pt.3 Place Training Wall
Make Eddie Train for Action
Bad Cops Pt.4 Make Lou Study Evidence
Make Wiggum Eat at Krusty Burger
Make Eddie Eat at Krusty Burger
Bad Cops Pt.5 Make Cletus Go in for Questioning 5h Cash100
Code Brown Make Homer Break into the Brown House and Watch TV
Make Bart Paintball at Brown House
Make Cletus Harvest Copper Wire in the Brown House
Make Wiggum Nap in the S.W.A.T. Van
Unusual Suspects Pt.1 Make Homer Go in for Questioning 8h Cash100
Unusual Suspects Pt.2 Make Lou Pursue Criminals
Make Eddie Track Down Criminals
Unusual Suspects Pt.3 Make Wiggum Nap in the S.W.A.T. Van 6h Cash100
Moe Town Make Moe Spy on Midge 12h Cash100
Unusual Suspects Pt.4 Make Snake Con Money from Old People 8h Cash100
Unusual Suspects Pt.5 Make Lou Interview Suspects 12h Cash100
Springfield Confidential Pt.1 Make Fat Tony Get a Rid of a Problem
Make Legs Sell Smuggled Goods
Make Louie Perform a Hit
Crackdown Pt.1 Make Wiggum Go an Stake Out 24h Cash100
Crackdown Pt.2 Make Criminals Serve Time (x20) 24h (x20) Chief Wiggum Cash100
Crackdown Pt.3 Make Youth Serve Time (x6) 24h (6x) Chief Wiggum Cash600
Crackdown Pt.4 Make Brockman Go in for Questioning 8h Cash100
Crackdown Pt. 5 Make Lou Teach Reform School
Make Bart Attend Reform School
Make Milhouse Attend Reform School
Springfield Confidential Pt. 2 Make Quimby Collect Bribes
Make Fat Tony Fix Races
Mayor Quimby Cash100
Springfield Confidential Pt. 3 Make Fat Tony Collect Construction Kickbacks
Make Legs Sell Smuggled Goods
Make Louie Collect Tribute
Fat Tony Cash100
Springfield Confidential Pt. 4 Make Eddie Investigate Corruption
Make Lou Investigate Corruption
Springfield Confidential Pt. 5 Make Quimby Serve Time 24h Cash100
Springfield Confidential Pt. 6 Make Fat Tony Run Organized Crime from Prison
Make Legs Take a break in the Slammer
Make Louie Take a break in the Slammer
Springfield Confidential Pt. 7 Make Lisa Do Next Week Homework 24h Cash100

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Bad Cops Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Snake Icon.png "I’m totally going to get past the museum's alarms and armed guards to steal the famous Star of Ogdenville Diamond!"
"But first, I’ll need caffeine and junk food to get me pumped up for this legendary heist!"

Bad Cops Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Apu Icon.png "Chief Wiggum, my store has been violated yet again! What steps are you going to take?"
Wiggum Icon.png "I’m not about the past, Apu. I’m all about what the future holds."
"And I see my future holding that box of donuts and a free pineapple Squishee."
Apu Icon.png "This is unacceptable! Criminals run willy-nilly in this town and the police do nothing."
"I'm going to call newsman Kent Brockman and have him perform an exposé!"
Wiggum Icon.png "What kind of exposé?"
Apu Icon.png "Hard-hitting!"
Wiggum Icon.png *gasp* "No need for that! I’ll round up the troops."
"I'll even get the S.W.A.T. van back... which I borrowed to take my gym equipment to the dump."

Bad Cops Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Eddie & Lou, good to have you back."
"Everyone’s been complaining about police responsiveness, so we need to really put on a show for the people."
Eddie Icon.png "What, like “Avenue Q”?
Wiggum Icon.png "No, you idiot. Where would we get money for that quality of puppets?"
"Now, I don’t want to do a lot of patrolling because there’s no guarantee anyone will see us doing it."
"So I’m setting up a physical training exercise."
"That way the citizens will have something to watch... and that something will be Eddie coughing up a lung."

Bad Cops Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Bad news. Quimby’s jumped on this ridiculous “let’s catch criminals” bandwagon."
"He wants more results than Eddie going down a belt size from all that wall exercise."
Lou Icon.png "Maybe we could go over some old cold cases and make some actual arrests."
Wiggum Icon.png "Hmm, cold cases reminds me of other cold things... like milkshakes."
"Lou, hit those files. Eddie, let’s see if we can eat you back into those size 36 pants."

Bad Cops Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Eddie Icon.png "Chief, I got a read -- some local farmers filed a complaint that Cletus is brewing moonshine."
Wiggum Icon.png "Well, you know how farmers love to complain. They’re rolling in watermelon and chicken, but all they do is whine, whine, whine."
Lou Icon.png "Maybe we should have a conversation with Cletus to check it out anyway."
Wiggum Icon.png "Ugh, fine. Police work is the part of this job I hate."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lou Icon.png "So Chief, did you get any leads from Cletus on the moonshine?"
Wiggum Drunk Icon.png "Ish all under control! I brought back a few jugs of hish stuff to make sure Cletus don’t, don’t, doesn’t sell them."
"He’s orry, so we’re not preshing chargesh."
Lou Icon.png "But Chief!"
Wiggum Drunk Icon.png "Help me get ‘em inside. I’m a little unsteady on my feet. And I think I’m… yesh! I’m starting to go blind."

Code Brown[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Marge! Flanders’ wifi is out again, so I can’t watch Netflix!"
Marge Icon.png "Well I’m not asking him to turn his modem on and off again – it’s embarrassing. Have you seen Bart?"
Homer Icon.png "I saw him with Milhouse. They were unsupervised, so I’m sure they’re fine."
Marge Icon.png "Go find him. I don’t want him to get in trouble with the authorities again."
"He's already got two strikes against him... and God knows how many foul balls."
Homer Icon.png "Fine, I'll go look for him... as far as you know."
Marge Icon.png "What was that?"
Homer Icon.png "Nothing. Love you, sweetie."

Unusual Suspects Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Eddie Icon.png "Mr. Simpson? We'd like to question you about a local “brown house” which seems to be the center of some minor felonies."
Homer Icon.png "It certainly has!"
"That's why I came over to investigate. The door was wide open, the TV was already on, and the wifi was streaming real smooth."
Eddie Icon.png "What about the fridge being raided, the beer cans strewn all over, and the wall-to-wall carpeting you pulled off the floor to use as a blanket?"
Homer Icon.png "I get cold when I watch TV drunk."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lou Icon.png "So after thirty seconds, Homer not only implicated himself, but just about everyone else in town."
"That brown house is a locus of break-ins, vandalism, and theft."
Wiggum Icon.png "File it under “boring,” Lou... just like your use of the word “locus.”
"We won’t have to do all the other arrests if we can just solve some big, flashy crimes. And that’ll still placate Quimby."
Lou Icon.png "You get to use “placate,” but I can’t use “locus”?
Wiggum Icon.png "I have the gravitas to pull it off. Now catch me a “Dexter” so we can “Shawshank” him!"

Unusual Suspects Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lou Icon.png "Everyone in Springfield is involved in some kind of petty crime."
Eddie Icon.png "Yeah, but Chief says we need to find something big -- some super-dangerous criminal."
Lou Icon.png "Uh… my gun’s been jammed for a couple of years."
Eddie Icon.png "I don't even know where mine is. Let's go get a jaywalker or two."

Unusual Suspects Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Brockman Icon.png "This is Kent Brockman, reporting on the dramatic surge in police action in Springfield."
Wiggum Icon.png "There’s no “dramatic surge,” Kent."
"What happened is I switched our coffee from decaf to regular. It gave some of our officers the jitters, but they're moving a lot faster."
Brockman Icon.png "But what about all the law-abiding citizens being arrested for seemingly meaningless violations?"
Wiggum Icon.png "Kent, you can’t call any law meaningless! We don’t rank laws. A kidnapping is no more important than a broken taillight."
"Actually, can I change that last thing I said?"
Brockman Icon.png "We’re live."
Wiggum Icon.png "Nuts. I’m very tired, Kent. I think my coffee high wore off."

Moe Town[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Moe Icon.png "All right, ya bums, last call!"
Barney Icon.png "But it’s only ten o’clock, which means I can still read the clock, which means I’ve only begun to get drunk."
Moe Icon.png "I got a date, if you must know."
Barney Icon.png "Ooooh. Is it serious?"
Moe Icon.png "No, she don’t know nothin’ about it. I’m scoping her out for when she does become available."
"Then I’ll be able to tell her that I spied on her for years. Love is best when done as a long con, Barn."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lou Icon.png "Hey, Chief, what’s Moe doing there in the bushes? He looks pretty suspicious."
Wiggum Icon.png "Oh, he’s just spying on Marge. That’s his hobby. It’s good for him – keeps him out of trouble."
"Now, when Eddie gets back from his date, I want you and him to look for big crime!"
Lou Icon.png "Who’s Eddie on a date with?"
Wiggum Icon.png "Not your ex-wife Amy! And even if it were, she definitely wouldn’t be wearing that red dress you got her for Valentine’s Day."
Lou Icon.png "I feel like I’m going to be sick."
Wiggum Icon.png "Not on your uniform, please. We only get reimbursed for getting blood stains out."

Unusual Suspects Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Well, well, well. If it isn’t our old pal Snake, aka Jailbird. Or Jailbird, aka Snake. Search him, Eddie!"
"Got a stack of papers on you, huh, Snake? What are they, rolling papers, or contracts to take out hits?"
Snake Icon.png "Dude, no. They’re just blank insurance policies."
"I’m a legitimate life insurance salesman now."
Wiggum Icon.png "I’ve never been able pass a life insurance physical. I’ve got a touch of diabetes. And gout."
"Oh, and I’m a policeman who’s been shot five times. All right, on your way!"
Snake Icon.png "Later, Dude."
"Excuse me, old man… I can get you a primo deal on a life insurance policy."
"Just write, “Snake,” on that beneficiary line and I’ll make sure your family gets the money."

Unusual Suspects Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Nice job hitting your arrest numbers, boys."
"I love quotas -- keeping the city safe by hitting meaningless statistical targets."
Lou Icon.png "If it’s all the same, Chief, I’d like to follow up on some old witness reports. I think some of these cases are low-hanging fruit."
Wiggum Icon.png "Oh, don’t you love when it hangs low? You don’t have to get up on your tippy-toes, or raise your arms. God I hate raising my arms."

Springfield Confidential Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Fat Tony Icon.png "Chief Wiggum, I congratulate you on your exemplary work keeping petty crimes in check."
Wiggum Icon.png "Thank you, Fat Tony."
"Now you don’t have any unpaid traffic tickets, illegal fireworks, or anything of that kind I need to look into, do you?"
Fat Tony Icon.png "Absolutely not. All my crimes are of an unpetty nature."
"Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things that need trafficking."
Wiggum Icon.png "Oh, sure. Everybody’s got important things to do. Me, I’ve gotta to mail back Sarah’s Zappos shoes."

Crackdown Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Don't you find that people are less likely to commit crimes around us because we’re men?"
Lou Icon.png "I think they’re less likely to because we’re cops."
Wiggum Icon.png "No really, I think I’m onto something here. Which is why I’ve decided that tonight, I’m going undercover as a woman!"
Eddie Icon.png "Actually, you’ve been doing that a lot, Chief. I'd been meaning to talk to you about that…"
Wiggum Icon.png "What? Does it not look good on me? My colorist said I'm a fall, but I think I'm more of an autumn."

Crackdown Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "All right, boys, Quimby texted me to say good work, but that we still have a lower arrest rate than Detroit."
"And they don’t even have police there anymore."
Lou Icon.png "But Chief, who do we arrest? We’ve already nailed the people who’ve actually committed crimes."
Wiggum Icon.png "I heard the word “actually” in there, Lou. Let’s change that."

Crackdown Pt. 2 Arrests[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Apu Icon.png "While I consider this arrest unjust, I will confess that a night in jail is preferable to taking care of eight small children."
Barney Icon.png (if you have him) "I love jail. Prison wine is a better than Moe’s beer and I don’t get beat up after I pass out."
Mr. Burns Icon.png "What ho, hoosegow-mates! Shall we all go take a gander at the strongmen in the outdoor gymnasium?"
"Why are you pointing that dangerously sharp toothbrush at me?"
Cletus Icon.png "An inside outhouse that's got a sink on top of it? Free orange clothes? This is the fanciest place I’s ever been in!"
Comic Book Guy Icon.png "This is infinitely worse than the Negative Zone Prison Alpha operated by S.H.I.E.L.D. I demand to see your Tony Stark!"
Dr. Hibbert Icon.png "I'm telling you, it wasn't a drug deal! I gave Chester the money to fix my shed."
Dr. Nick Icon.png (if you have him) "Hi, everybody! Free plastic surgery in exchange for protecting me on the inside."
"I can make you look like George Clooney... although sometimes it comes out like Rosemary Clooney. But any Clooney is good, right?"
Duffman Icon.png (if you have him) "Duffman is being approached by seven dudes with tattoos on their faces. Oh, no!"
Professor Frink Icon.png (if you have him) "If you might permit me to access my Frink-O-Pod, I can travel back in time to prevent the crime from ever being committed."
"Plus that will allow the writer who agreed to write all these prison jokes to say no!"
Grampa Icon.png "Why? I didn’t kill nobody or steal nothing or sell my pills to those bullies for a dollar a pop like I did in that dream."
"Wait, who took my pills and why do I have all these dollars?"
Homer Icon.png "I thought Free-to-Play meant I could just take the phone from the myPhone store."
Mrs. Krabappel Icon.png "Overcrowding, dangerous occupants, horrible food – I'll go anywhere as long as it's not back to that school."
Krusty Icon.png "I can’t be in jail -- I’m a celebrity! What if no one recognizes me?!"
Rev. Lovejoy Icon.png "Lord, I’ve been in your service for fifteen years. I’ve prayed to you every day."
"Would it be too much to ask you to listen to me just once and get me out of this friggin’ stinkhole?!"
Luigi Icon.png "Thrown in jail like-a spaghetti on-a a wall. And-a my only crime is being a cultural stereotype-a!"
Marge Icon.png "I know that I didn’t come to a complete stop at that stop sign, but our car’s transmission falls out when you do that."
Moe Icon.png "I get put in the slammer for an illegal U-turn? Well ain’t that a laugh. You should see what I got in my basement!"
Hans Moleman Icon.png (if you have him) "I accidentally tunneled my way INTO jail?! Ohhhhhh."
Ned Icon.png "Just to be clear, roomie, you’d like me to point this soap that’s been carved to looked like a gun at the guard when he brings dinner?"
"And he knows that this is a joke? Well, I do love jokes!"
Otto Icon.png (if you have him) "That was not weed, man! It was oregano for my oregano brownies. Hey, you want a lid of Bob Marley Hawaiian Skunk oregano?"
Quimby Icon.png "Outside these walls I'm the mayor. Inside them, I, er, seem to be a ring girl for Mexican mafia yard fights."
Hank Scorpio Icon.png (if you have him) "My dear officers, when I get out, I’ll double your salaries to come work for me, and we’ll take over the world!"
"Are these potatoes peeled well enough, because I can have at them again if you’d like."
Sideshow Mel Icon.png (if you have him) "I have started a Theatricum Prisonicum! But Snake was cast as Hamlet instead of me, so now I am boycotting the Theatricum Prisonicum!"
Skinner Icon.png "Call the school and anyone will tell you that this must be a Bart Simpson prank"
"So you can forget that strip search that you’re about to… doooooooooooooooo!"
Smithers Icon.png "My name is C. Montgomery Burns. I’m one hundred and fifteen years old and I’m ready to serve my time."
Snake Icon.png "I was fine with prison overcrowding when it was hardcore criminals... but all these moms, dads, doctors, and teachers is cruel and unusual punishment!"
Wiggum Icon.png "Hey! I was just cleaning out this cell and the door locked behind me."
"Hello? Funny mistake because we all know how cops get treated in prison. Oh God."
Willie Icon.png "I had me choice of roommates between a Mexican gang killer and an Englishman who jaywalked. Jose and I are getting along just dandy."
Crackdown Pt. 3
Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Great work, boys! We’ve made more arrests this week than in the entire history of the S.P.D."
Lou Icon.png "But, Chief, we haven’t gone after the big fish, like Fat Tony."
Wiggum Icon.png "You know I’d like a big arrest, but have you ever talked to that guy? Very menacing-sounding."
"So instead we’re going to round up this list of repeat offenders from the Springfield School system."

Crackdown Pt. 3 Arrests[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon.png "Whoa, this is like Scared Straight... but without the tutoring and talks from mentors. I could get used to this!"
Kearney Icon.png (if you have him) "I keep telling you people, I’m not a kid! I HAVE a kid. Take him instead!"
Lisa Icon.png "I'm following in the footsteps of Nelson Mandela and Benazir Bhutto. I wonder if they missed their Malibu Stacy dolls too?"
Martin Icon.png "Improbably, prisoners have women interested in marrying them. So now finally there is hope for me!"
Milhouse Icon.png "I wasted my one phone call, but I had to vote on America’s Top Runway Model!"
Nelson Icon.png "Prison? Wow, I kind of jumped right to the end of my life story. Oh well, at least I got to skip a lot of boring stuff."
Ralph Icon.png "This camp smells hurty."
Squeaky Voice Teen Icon.png (if you have him) "Can I put this on my resume as an internship?"

Crackdown Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Brockman Icon.png "This is Kent Brockman reporting."
"Abuse of police power has reached epidemic proportions."
"It seems that no one is safe from their persecution, not even our clergymen, our upstanding citizens, our children…"
Wiggum Icon.png "Our newsmen."
Brockman Icon.png "Exactly! Wait, what?"
Wiggum Icon.png "Just finishing your sentence. Which is funny, because we’re going to get you started on a new kind of sentence right now!"

Crackdown Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Okay, so maybe arresting a bunch of kids and throwing them into a dangerous prison didn’t work out as well as I thought it would."
Lou Icon.png "We should get those kids out of jail before anything terrible happens."
Wiggum Icon.png "You’re right. Like missing their social studies unit at school."
"I hear that it’s about the Pueblo Indians and they deserve all the attention they can get."
Lou Icon.png "I don’t know if they’re so great"
"They lived in the same kind of adobe huts for hundreds of years while people in Europe were building castles."
Wiggum Icon.png "They were happy, Lou! Isn’t that more important than having a tile roof? Geez!"
"Now get those kids in reform school and make sure they learn about the Pueblo!"

Springfield Confidential Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Quimby Icon.png "I hope that with all the increased police activity, you aren’t having any trouble, er, conducting business."
Fat Tony Icon.png "The only difficulty I have encountered is that there are not enough attendees at the racetrack to boost the betting pools."
Quimby Icon.png "I’ll see to it that the police release anybody who’s got a racing sheet on him or who looks clinically depressed enough to go to the track."

Springfield Confidential Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Fat Tony Icon.png "Boys, we live in fortuitous times."
Legs Icon.png "How's that, boss?"
Fat Tony Icon.png "Our legitimate enterprises usually have to operate within a certain shroud of secrecy."
"But all the petty crimes have been keeping the polizia’s attention away from us."
"It’s refreshing to be in such a relaxed and stress free state while we strong-arm, murder, and swindle."

Springfield Confidential Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Eddie Icon.png "We keep getting emails from the Mayor’s office telling us to let gamblers and concrete union workers out of jail."
"Clearly Quimby’s got something going on with Fat Tony."
Lou Icon.png "We could stage a coup and make Chief Wiggum mayor."
Eddie Icon.png "No, the Chief has said he'd never accept that job because he doesn’t want to be named “America’s Fattest Mayor.” Let’s investigate Quimby."

Springfield Confidential Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lou Icon.png "Mayor Quimby, we have evidence linking you to a known organized crime syndicate in Springfield."
"You are under arrest!"
Quimby Icon.png "You, ah, you can’t do this. I’ll see to it that none of you has a job in law enforcement again!"
Wiggum Icon.png "Well, it’s a bit of a go-nowhere field, anyway. I’ve been urging Ralphie to go into computer programming."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Wow, who would have thought Mayor Quimby was corrupt? He's got such a symmetrical face!"
Lou Icon.png "So, can we go after Fat Tony now, Chief?"
Wiggum Icon.png "Yeah, now that Quimby’s not protecting him anymore, let’s show him who’s the real boss around here."
Eddie Icon.png "How are we going to play it? They’ve got a lot of guns."
Wiggum Icon.png "We’re going to distract them by ordering a huge pizza delivery to their address."
"There could be a lot of carnage this time, boys. I’m planning to rip through a deep dish sausage on my own!"

Springfield Confidential Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Fat Tony, your days of snubbing your finger at the law are over!"
Fat Tony Icon.png "Is that so, officer?"
"I would be very interested to know what you intend to charge me with, because I have been scrupulous in every single one of my…"
Wiggum Icon.png "Tax evasion!"
Fat Tony Icon.png "Legs, have we been scrupulously paying our taxes?"
Legs Icon.png "We’ve never paid any taxes, boss."
Fat Tony Icon.png "So I’m guilty of the same thing as every charity and religious cult in America? Well, looks like we’re in for a little vacation, boys."

Springfield Confidential Pt. 7[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png "Now that a huge organized crime ring has been put behind bars, maybe this town can return to normal."
Bart Icon.png "Don’t get carried away, Lisa. They’re only going away for 24 hours. Why can’t we send them away for longer, anyway?"
Lisa Icon.png "Because it’s more fun to tap on all forty of your characters every single day to send them on 24-hour missions!"
Bart Icon.png "It is?"
Lisa Icon.png "Apparently. Now shut up and make me do next week’s homework!"

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Springfield Confidential part 7 breaks the fourth wall by saying "It's more fun to tap on all forty of your characters every single day to send them on 24-hour missions!" Which references the tapping aspect of the game and the fact that the longest task for most characters is 24 hours
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