Astro-Not is a questline featuring Astronaut Barney.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Astro-Not Pt. 1 Make Astronaut Barney Stop in for a Soda
Make Moe Serve Drinks
Make Barflies Drink at Moe's
Astro-Not Pt. 2 Make Astronaut Barney Lecture the Barflies about Sober Life
Make Barflies Drink at Moe's
Astro-Not Pt. 3 Make Astronaut Barney Eat Astronaut Ice Cream 8h Cash100
Astro-Not Pt. 4 Make Astronaut Barney Blast Off 4h Cash100

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Astro-Not Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Astronaut Barney Icon.png Thanks to my astronaut training, I'm sober again! I've got control over my life for once – what do you want to do?
Carl Icon.png We were going to go to the bar, but we could spice it up a bit. Maybe a beer garden or a brewery tour...
Astronaut Barney Icon.png Think bigger! The world is your oyster!
Lenny Icon.png Oysters, eh? That gives me an idea – let's go to the bar!
Astronaut Barney Annoyed Icon.png Grrrr! I'll stop in, but I'll be having a soft drink!
Moe Worried Icon.png A soda? Hold on, I think I've got one in the back. I was using it as an ashtray.

Astro-Not Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Astronaut Barney Icon.png Sobriety has given me a new lease on life!
Carl Icon.png I've got a new lease too! Although I think mine's on my car.
Astronaut Barney Sad Icon.png I became an astronaut – doesn't that inspire any of you to follow your dreams?
Lenny Icon.png In my dreams I'm being chased by a giant singing grasshopper with my father's face – why would I want to follow that?
Astronaut Barney Sad Icon.png Don't you want more from life than just sitting in this bar?
Astronaut Barney Annoyed Icon.png What if aliens were looking down on us right now? Aren't you embarrassed by being drunk?
Carl Icon.png Aliens love drunk people! They're the only ones they ever abduct.

Astro-Not Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Astronaut Barney Icon.png By not spending all my money on beer, I can afford to go back to school. After all, I'm only two credits shy of my PhD.
Astronaut Barney Icon.png Then I could get a job asking people if they know of any jobs for PhDs.
Moe Icon.png Why give your money to those fancy college types?
Moe Worried Icon.png What about your good friend Moe? What is he going to do without his best customer?
Astronaut Barney Annoyed Icon.png You guys aren't being very supportive.
Astronaut Barney Annoyed Icon.png After I was so supportive of your watercolors, Moe. And your decorative gourd collection, Carl.
Astronaut Barney Sad Icon.png Since I can't drink my feelings anymore, I guess I'll have to eat them.

All Objectives Started[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Moe Icon.png Maybe we should be more supportive of Barney. Tell him he's doing grood. Is it grood? Goop? I don't know; I've never heard it said to me.
Carl Icon.png All my memories with Barney are... not there, because we were drunk. I don't think I can start making sober ones.
Lenny Icon.png Let's give it a try. We owe it to Barney after leaving him for dead on so many occasions.

Astro-Not Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Astronaut Barney Happy Icon.png Tra-la-la! Lalalala! Lalala!
Moe Icon.png Barney, are you drunk? What happened?
Astronaut Barney Happy Icon.png Just been eatin' *hic* ice cream all day!
Moe Shocked Icon.png What is this... rum raisin?!? Oh no!
Carl Icon.png It's okay. I don't think there's any alcohol in raisins.
Astronaut Barney Happy Icon.png Drinks on *hic* me!!!
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