Quest
Requirements
Time
Reward
Triggered By
All My Sober Ladies Pt.1
Make The Women Of Springfield Get Drunk (x10)
12h
Duffman
All My Sober Ladies Pt.2
Make Lady Duff Promote Lady Duff 4h Homer
All My Sober Ladies Pt.3
Make Lisa remove Lady Duff's Wig
6s
Duffman
All My Sober Ladies Pt.4
Make Men Play Soccer (x11) 60m Lisa
All My Sober Ladies Pt.5
Make Lisa Eavesdrop On Shady Dealings
12h
Homer
Character
Dialogue
"Hey, girls! Haven't you ever wished there was beer just for us ladies?"
"A smooth-drinking brew, lady-filtered from the freshest female hops and she-barley?"
"Yes! This is all I've ever wished for!"
"You mean I can finally get drunk too, just like the fellas?"
"As drunk as you like, sister! Passing out on the barbeque isn't just for the guys anymore."
"It's time for women to stand up and demand equal inebriation."
"Finally! A transparent, meaningless beer-marketing campaign that's aimed at me!"
Character
Dialogue
"My Lady Duff marketing tie-in is a huge success! Every woman in Springfield is partying down 24/7!"
"Now to celebrate with a nice, home-cooked meal."
"Oh, Marge! Marge, my beautiful wife! I give you permission to cook for me!"
"She's at Moe's with all the other ladies, you dummy."
"Are you saying that my marketing genius has cost me the woman who is entirely responsible for my care and feeding?"
"THESE HARD-PARTYING LADIES MUST BE STOPPED! EVERYONE, TO MOE'S AT ONCE!"
"I'm a kid. I can't go to a bar."
"WHEN I SAY “EVERYONE, TO MOE'S!” I MEAN “EVERYONE, TO MOE'S!”"
Character
Dialogue
"Drink up, Duffettes! For too long, you have stood silently by while your men ruined their health and brains with beer. Now it's our turn!"
"Everyone, put down your beers! At least one gender needs to remain sober, and it's not going to be men!"
"Chill out, handsome. Guys can still enjoy the beer lifestyle."
"Homie, I finally understand the appeal of Moe's Tavern! Dance with me!"
"No, Marge! Don't you see? You're falling for slick advertising. Beer doesn't make you cooler, or sexier. It only does that for guys!"
"Whoa! We're not going to listen to that, are we, gals? Keep partying! Keep partying forever!"
"OH YEAH!!!!!!!"
"Wait a second..."
Character
Dialogue
"Lady Duff isn't even a woman. She's a Duffman!"
"That doesn't mean us girls... er, you girls... have to stop lady-partying, does it? Ah, I suppose it does."
"See, Dad? I told you that if you let Tap Ball become just another way to sell advertising, you'd cheapen it."
"You're right. Tap Ball has become a total joke. And yet, somehow it's still way better than your precious soccer."
"Oh yeah? Well in that case, the women in this town challenge the men to a game of soccer!"
"I'm... not ENTIRELY sure how that follows from our previous discussion."
"Could pad this quest out with a few more missions, I guess. Very well, then. YOU'RE ON!!!"
Character
Dialogue
"Okay, women. It's time to show those men who's boss!"
"Might I point out that we're all still a little drunk?"
"If you can teach my class after you've been drinking, you can play soccer!"
"You know about that?"
"Yes, and it's something we should talk about. But not now! Let's make those men rue the day they challenged us!"
"But YOU challenged THEM. And I'm still not sure of the logic behind it all..."
"Neither am I. It just kind of slipped out. But I'm still kind of angry for whatever reason, so... LET'S GET ‘EM!"
Character
Dialogue
"I can't believe we lost 34-0."
"Well, we didn't exactly get many calls. I didn't know soccer had a penalty called “icing.”"
"You know what? It doesn't! I think this contest was rigged!"
Character
Dialogue
"Coach Krupt, thanks for rigging the game for us. You're a spectacularly crooked referee."
"I'll be taking my payment now..."
"Here you go. One Bombardment ball."
"Oh, yes. Yes oh yes oh yes. Come to Papa, sweet ball. BOMBARDMENT!!!!!"
"Dad! You cheated! How could you?"
"It all starts with wanting to win. Then, you throw in a little lack of moral fiber, and sprinkle liberally with having no class whatsoever."
"Stir it all together and presto! You get a guy who's willing to sink to a new low, just to beat his daughter at a sport he hates!"
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