"Greetings Earth leader! I wish to defect." "This time for real-sies."
"Excellent! Lady Liberty welcomes tired and huddled masses." "We are, ah, trying to play down the “poor” part of that little welcome speech." "You just need to pass the citizenship test and pay the, er ah, substantial fee."
"What?! But I have none of your Earth money! And I know nothing of your pointless country!"
"I could help you study for your citizenship exam. Anyone who knows me knows I love a good history drill."
...
"Mr. Kang?"
"Just waiting for any other option to present itself." ... "Fine, I'll go with you."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"American history is full of impressive bloodshed!" "Though why haven't we invaded this “Canada”?" "They're only weapons seem to be hockey sticks and superior grammar skills."
Alienation Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"Armed with knowledge of your country I shall begin my ascent up the ranks of American power players." "But first, could you spot me the cash to pay the exam fee?"
"No way. You're going to have to earn it the old-fashioned American way." "Which is now known as the new-fashioned Mexican way -- doing jobs everyone else hates to do."
Alienation Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ooh, today's the big day! If you pass this exam you will be *giggle* a legal alien!"
"Ugh. No further attempts at humor. It is painful to roll one giant eye."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"How did your exam go?"
"Terrible. I passed, but just barely."
"Congratulations! That means you didn't try any harder than you had to. You are a true American."
Alienation Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"You know what would really jazz this planet up?" "Lush Rigellian greenery!" "I could use my carbon re-moleculizor to craft some lovely carnivorous plants!"
"I don't know, carnivorous alien plants seems like a dangerous idea..."
"I am an American! Your concerns violate my constitutional rights!" "Racism! Sexism! Sue! Sue! Sue everyone!"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
*gasp* "The indigenous flora of your home planet is so beautiful!"
"Yes. Rigellian plants are far superior to your roses and your baobabs." "Though I must warn you -- mind the thorns." "And the toxic pollen." "And do not let it invade your thoughts. It will steal your soul." "Also it likes a little fertilizer in the early Fall."
Alienation Pt. 5[]
Character
Dialogue
"Thanks for integrating me into your society so very easily." "To further lull you, I shall dull your senses with donuts!" "Take them, and suspect nothing!"