A Savage Thaw

A Savage Thaw was a limited-time questline released on December 12, 2018. It was the main questline of Act 2 of the A Simpsons Christmas Special 2018 Event, progressing through it unlocked all of the event's personal prizes. It was preceded by a short intro quest A Savage Thaw Intro.

Quests Edit

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
A Savage Thaw Pt. 1	Make Bart Practice His Action Puns Make Milhouse Do Paperwork Collect Snowballs (x100)	4h 4h -	100 10	Auto
A Savage Thaw Pt. 2	Make Bart Storm the Snow Bank Make Milhouse Try Not to Get Taken Hostage Collect Snowballs (x300)	8h 8h -	100 10	Auto
A Savage Thaw Pt. 3	Make Bart Play Bad Cop Make Milhouse Play Timid Cop Make Ralph Spin in His Chair Till He Gets Sick Collect Snowballs (x300)	4h 4h 4h -	100 10	Auto
A Savage Thaw Pt. 4	Make Bart Visit Moe's Make Homer Drink at Moe's Collect Snowballs (x300)	8h 8h -	100 10	Auto
A Savage Thaw Pt. 5	Make Bart and Milhouse Drive the Snow Mobile Make Ralph Play Dress Up in the Evidence Closet Collect Snowballs (x300)	12h 12h -	100 10	Auto
A Savage Thaw Pt. 6	Make Bart Storm the Truck Stop Diner Make Milhouse Try to Minimize the Damage	8h 8h	200 20	Auto

Dialogue Edit

A Savage Thaw Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Robbers are robbing a bank! Somebody call the police!
	Sounds like a job for a loose cannon and his gutless partner.
	I don’t know, Savage. Maybe we should sit this one out.
	The bad guys have snow shooters that sound like *pew pew*.
	“Snow shooters”. I like how harmless that sounds.
	Thought I’d throw you a bone there, Toots. Dad, when I say “snow shooters”, you just picture Uzis and headshots spraying red gore everywhere.
	I’m on it!

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	All right Meeks, let's roll out.
	Have fun catching the bad guys! I’ll suspend you for taking the law into your own hands when you get back!

A Savage Thaw Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Okay Meeks, what are we looking at, here?
	We got terrorists inside the bank, with an unknown number of hostages. The police negotiator is on his way, so sit tight--
	Banzai charge!
	Wait! Don’t charge in until we have a plan!
	I don't make plans, I make results! Chaaarge!

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Oh no! It's rogue livewire Officer Savage! Let’s make like snow and flake!
	*kicks over a cabinet* Meeks, you let those charmingly snow-themed terrorists escape!
	Uh, I was a little busy rescuing the hostages.
	You’re a real hero. Did you even get a look at those sweet, innocent hostages you saved?
	Oh my God. They’re... they’re...
	They’re Christmas Carolers. The worst, most annoying people on Earth. And you let them live.
	Nooooooo!

A Savage Thaw Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	I wear my policeman’s uniform over my PJs so I don’t have to change into my PJs at night so bedtime is five minutes later!
	Uh, you wanted to see us, Chief?
	Hand in your badge, Savage! I’m mad at you for I-forget-why!
	Probably, I’m guessing, because we let the bad guys get away?
	...
	My PJs are itchy under my uniform.
	Let’s question the hostages, see what they can tell us about the terrorists.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	The terrorists are being led by a villain who calls himself “Deep Freeze”.
	Figures. The really dangerous ones always choose the most whimsical names.
	Remember when Silly McGilly shot up that mall? Peerless psycho.
	Not as bad as when Love-ums the King of Hugs killed and ate an entire preschool.
	You guys talking about Deep Freeze? Good guy. I met him in the bank holdup, but he let me go.
	Finally! The real hero of the story arrives!
	I was supposed to be his hostage, but he said I was too fat and dumb to take along. Said I smelled, too. And that I was dumb.
	*ANNOYED GRUNT*

A Savage Thaw Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Can I ask you a few questions, Fat Smelly Dummy?
	Don’t respond to that, Story Homer.
	Fire away, Copper!
	Dammit! Have some self-respect, me!
	Did Deep Freeze reveal anything to you about his evil plan?
	He wouldn't stop talking about Christmas, or all the presents he was gonna buy with the stolen loot.
	Weird that a criminal would care so much about Christmas...
	I wish I could remember more about him. Of course, my brain works best when it’s black-out drunk.
	To Moe’s!

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	That’s ten eggnogs you’ve had, sir. Are you remembering anything else about the bad guy?
	Nothin’ yet. One more eggnog oughta do it. Or per’aps a tasty eggnog will help!
	*heavy sigh* I think this is a dead end, this guy has no idea where Deep Freeze is.
	Deep Freeze? He's robbing the Snow Bank again right now.
	Why would he rob it again, when he knows it’s been cleaned out?
	It ain’t easy coming up with new buildings for this town every couple months. Can’t justify all that work unless you use them multiple times.
	We’d better take the Snow Mobile.

A Savage Thaw Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Chief, we’re heading back to the Snow Bank. Deep Freeze is up to something.
	We’re not sure what, exactly. But it appears to be highly repetitive.
	Officers Rod and Todd are on site. They’re authorized to pray for Deep Freeze with extreme prejudice.
	Rod and Todd?! But they’re incompetent!
	“Incompetent”? What’s that?
	Hoo boy.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Surrender, Deep Freeze! We’ve got you surrounded by the loving embrace of forgiveness!
	We’ve already turned one cheek. Don’t make us turn the other one!
	You don’t scare me, Coppers.
	Well maybe I do!
	Savage! Okay, how about a plea deal - I'll tell youse who’s really pulling the strings, and youse let me go.
	Youse’ll find the real kingpin at the Truck Stop Diner.
	Another new building, eh? All right. Let’s unlock it and see what’s what.

A Savage Thaw Pt. 6 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	I know what you’re gonna say, Savage, but I’d really love to do a quick perimeter check of the diner before we--
	I’ve got a dumber idea.
	Don’t say “banzai charge”. Don’t say “banzai charge”...
	*sound of explosions* How about I blow the door with TNT, and only afterwards ask you if that’s a good idea?
	You know, I'm the one who has to fill out the paperwork when you blow stuff up!

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Stop right there, we've got you cornered...Santa Claus?
	You bet your stockings it is!
	But why? You gone naughty on us, old man?
	I needed the cash! You think it’s CHEAP making toys for every child in the world?
	And if I occasionally want to enjoy a high-end wine, or add to my collection of fine timepieces, do you think that’s easy on a saint’s income?
	Well, I suppose my partner and I could look the other way... for a cut of the loot.
	Savage is a crooked cop?! What a twist!
	That’s cheating! To be satisfying, a twist has to be both well set up AND motivated by character. Otherwise it’s just cheap!
	Then why am I so completely satisfied and fulfilled as an audience member? Huh? Answer that!