A New Wrinkle on Dating is a side questline released on January 9, 2019 for the Not Yet Spring Cleaning 2019 Event. It needs the character Alice Glick. It starts upon finishing the main event's questline Mystery of the Brown House.
Quests[]
| Quest
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Requirements
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Time
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Reward
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Triggered By
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| A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 1
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Make Ms. Glick Act Young
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12h
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 100
 10
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Alice Glick
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| A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 2
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Make Ms. Glick Try to Watch Music Videos
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4h
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100
 10
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Jasper
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| A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 3
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Make Ms. Glick Have a Knitting Circle
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8h
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100
10
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Alice Glick
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| A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 4
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Make Ms. Glick Hand Out Mints
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60m
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100
10
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Auto
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| A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 5
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Make Ms. Glick Swipe Right on Dates
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60m
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200
20
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Alice Glick
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Dialogue[]
A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 1[]
Start[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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Maybe I’ll give retirement home living a shot.
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It’s pretty nice. Plenty of room to shuffle around, and you get three squares a day.
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Although I prefer my squares rounded so I don’t cut my mouth.
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At least I’ll be the most spry person here.
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Cha-cha-cha, this place is a dream! Even homier than the homeless center!
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What’s that whippersnapper doing here?!
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I’m supposed to be the ingenue, not him!
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A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 2[]
Start[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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My favorite part of this show is when it cuts to extremely loud commercials -- it’s the only thing I can hear.
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What is this lame show, dude? I want to watch music videos on MTV, man!
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MTV hasn’t played music videos since before I got my beard plugs.
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Give me that remote -- I’ll find them!
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A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 3[]
Start[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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Ah, who am I kidding, I’m just an old crone.
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Try as I might, I’ll never be young.
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Guess I’ll just knit some socks. This is my life now.
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Whoa, are you crocheting?
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Go ahead, laugh at me. I deserve it for getting old.
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No, it’s cool! I saw it on Pinterest!
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Really? A young person like you thinks I’m cool?
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Well, I’m sort of an un-cool young person--
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A young person thinks I’m cool!
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A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 4[]
Start[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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Man, I was killing it in today’s Senior Water Aerobics class!
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Unfortunately, the slippery floor was killing it too. R.I.P. Mrs. Henderson.
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Pff, water aerobics? Give me a break.
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You think you can out-youth me?
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It’s called being a hipster. You do all the things old people do -- knit, use typewriters, listen to records -- but you do it "ironically".
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Here, have some gross old-timey candy... ironically.
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End[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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Wow, since when did the nursing home get so cool?
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Now my gross old man beard is a hipster beard.
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I found an old film camera in my closet, so I’m super into photography now!
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This place is really hopping. I feel so young again!
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Now I need to find a boyfriend...
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A New Wrinkle on Dating Pt. 5[]
Start[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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I thought with my newfound youth, dating would be much easier.
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But it’s so time consuming going out and trying to get to know people to see if I like their personality.
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Personality? Dating nowadays is about making a snap judgement about someone after two seconds of looking at them.
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Are you talking about dating apps? No one in here has a cellphone, so I can’t "swipe right” on them.
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Most of them are in wheelchairs though. If you like the way they look, swipe their wheelchair to the right.
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And if I don’t, swipe it to the left and never think of them again!
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End[]
| Character
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Dialogue
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Well, I instantly judged every guy in the nursing home, and I didn’t get to know any of them.
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I’m still alone, but I feel superior to everyone I rejected.
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Modern dating is great!
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