| Quest
| Requirements
| Time
| Reward
| Triggered By
|
| A Hole in None Pt. 1
| Make Lee Carvallo Display His Awards
| 8h
|  100
10
| Auto
|
| A Hole in None Pt. 2
| Make Lee Carvallo Take a Perfect Shot
| 4h
| 100
10
| Lee Carvallo
|
| A Hole in None Pt. 3
| Make Lee Carvallo Suck at Mini Golf
| 60m
| 100
10
| Lee Carvallo
|
| A Hole in None Pt. 4
| Make Lee Carvallo Ruin His Perfect Record
| 8h
| 100
10
| Auto
|
| A Hole in None Pt. 5
| Make Lee Carvallo Show No Love
| 12h
| 200
20
| Auto
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| Welcome to Channel 6’s coverage of the Springfield Celebrity Pro-am, America’s premier mini-golf tournament.
|
|
| I'm joined by legendary golf champion Lee Carvallo. Lee, how do you like your chances today?
|
|
| I just want to go out there and give it my all. It’s a talented field, lot of great players, we’ll see how it goes.
|
|
| *chuckles* Every athlete is just a mind-numbingly boring interview, Lee. I didn’t realize that included golfers, but I see it does.
|
|
| It is what it is. We’ll just see how it goes, try to have fun out there.
|
|
| *laughs* Stunningly bland! Lee, show us some of the trophies you've won over the years. Anything is better than listening to you.
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| Lee, I would literally kill everyone on this planet for a single daytime Emmy. And here you are, a mindless dud, surrounded by awards.
|
|
| Moving on. Lee, instead of listening to your moronic blather, let’s meet the amateur you’ll be paired with today.
|
|
| One day at a time, right?
|
|
| That was in no way a response to what I said. Good job, Lee!
|
|
| Hey-diddly-o, Mr. C! Ned Flanders here. Honored to be your partner.
|
|
| Excited to get out there and let the chips fall where they may. Course looks to be in great shape, excited for the challenge.
|
|
| What a charming man, eh, Kent?
|
|
| There’s not a single working neuron in his skull.
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| So, Mr. Carvallo. Are you familiar with our mini-golf course? Need any pointers?
|
|
| *chuckles* You can only do what you can do. We’ll see how it goes. Excited to compete.
|
|
| Okay... that’s the spirit, I guess. Just be advised, the wind tends to sort of whip around that windmill, so stay to the right.
|
|
| Course is in great shape. Strong field, gonna be a challenge, one shot at a time, short memory.
|
|
| Is that... did you hear what I said? It feels like you didn’t...
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| Beautiful tee shot on the first hole for Lee. He’s putting on a mini-golf clinic today, folks!
|
|
| Just gotta stay within myself. Can’t wait to get out there.
|
|
| Uh... you DO realize we’ve already started playing, Mr. Carvallo?
|
|
| I’ve been striking the ball well in practice. We’ll see what happens on the course.
|
|
| *uncomfortable chuckle* Let’s... let’s just move on to the next hole.
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| This next green is tricky, Lee. Make sure you aim for the ramp on the left. The other ramp drops you into a pretty nasty spot.
|
|
| Looking forward to playing some mini-golf.
|
|
| Wait, Lee! I meant to say aim for the ramp on the right! The right!
|
|
| Too late! He’s stuck behind the little lighthouse. It’ll be a double bogey for sure!
|
|
| It is what it is! Every day playing golf is a good day!
|
|
| Oh, my. He’s furious.
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| If I’m seeing the breaks, I like my chances! Beautiful day for golf!
|
|
| Mr. Carvallo, I’m real sorry about that last hole. I made a mistake. Please don’t scream at me.
|
|
| It’s a marathon, not a sprint! These are some great fans!
|
|
| Mr. Carvallo, you’re turning beet red! Try to breathe!
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| In a shocking development, Lee Carvallo finds himself ten shots behind the leaders.
|
|
| A living legend, a man who’s never lost a mini-golf game in his life, could see it all go up in flames here today.
|
|
| Ever since Ned Flanders steered him towards the wrong ramp, Carvallo has completely crumbled. I’ve rarely seen a professional athlete this broken.
|
|
| Lee, what’s going through your head right now?
|
|
| The greens are playing fast but fair! I’m just looking to string together a few good holes! It’s great weather for golf!
|
|
| And so this pea-brained champion, this dim-witted maestro of the greens, withers before our very eyes.
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| Lee Carvallo’s sad march continues. Now forty-three shots behind the leaders, he stalks the 17th green, completely unhinged.
|
|
| *shouting in the distance* THIS IS A GREAT TOURNAMENT! I WANT TO THANK BANK OF SPRINGFIELD FOR SPONSORING A FIRST-CLASS OPERATION!
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| Mr. Carvallo? Can I get you anything? A glass of water maybe?
|
|
| It’s about consistency. Just trying to do the same thing, swing after swing.
|
|
| Again, I’m really sorry about what happened. Could you find it in your heart to forgive me?
|
|
| *stares daggers at Flanders* Every tournament is different. Sometimes the ball rolls funny.
|
|
| Just one word of comfort for my guilty soul? That’s all I ask...
|
|
| *his look growing even more hate-filled* I love the game of golf.
|
| Character
| Dialogue
|
|
| It’s never easy to watch a greatness dim. Lee Carvallo was a hero to many. Today, that all ended.
|
|
| We may never know exactly what was going on in his head. Or if ANYTHING was going on in his head, which I seriously doubt.
|
|
| But we do know this -- as far as Lee Carvallo is concerned, it was a great day for golf. Also, it is what it is.
|
100 
10
