A Hard Play's Night,

A Hard Play's Night, was a limited-time questline that was released on September 13, 2023. It was the main questline for A Hard Play's Night 2023 Event, progressing through it unlocked all the personal prizes. It was preceded by the intro questline, The Long Strokes of Summer. It was succeeded by the outro questline, The Final Curtain.

Quests[]

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 1	Collect Playbills (x165) Make Ms. Peyton Contact Parents* Make Parents Find Time to Come to School (x5) Make Marge Happily Come to School	- 4h 4h 4h	100 10	Auto
A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 2	Collect Playbills (x125) Make Ms. Peyton Try to Control the Meeting* Make Parents Continue to Object (x5) Make Marge Happily Pull Out Her Stage Binder	- 4h 4h 4h	100 10	Auto
A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 3	Collect Playbills (x165) Make Marge Change Into Her Stage Manager Outfit Make Bart Pretend to Be Deaf Make Lisa Brace Herself for Bad News	- 4h 4h 4h	100 10	Auto
A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 4	Collect Playbills (x125) Make Bart Attempt to Disappear Make Stage Manager Marge Be Extremely Proud Make Ms. Peyton Hide Her Amusement* Make Nelson Memorize His Script** Make Students Protest This Whole Fiasco (x5)	- 4h 4h 4h 4h	100 10	Auto
A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 5	Collect Playbills (x205) Make Teachers Storm the Stage (x5) Make Bart^ Get Educated on Proper Painting Technique Make Bart Sawyer^ Get Educated on Proper Painting Technique*** Make Students Watch With Morbid Fascination (x5) Make Stage Manager Marge Finish Building the Set	- 4h 4h 4h 4h 4h	100 10	Auto

*Only appears if the player has Ms. Peyton.
**Only appears if the player has Nelson.
***Only appears if the player has Bart Sawyer.
^If the player does not have Bart Sawyer, Bart will be used for the task.

Dialogue[]

A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 1[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Thank you for coming, Ms. Peyton.
	Well, you summoned me, so... not really a choice in coming.
	I want to cut to the chase here. I'd like to offer you an exciting opportunity.
	You see, I've noticed that several of the staff seem...a bit worn out.
	Yeah, one super boring seminar can really suck the life out of you it seems. Plus, all that painting we had to do in the hot sun.
	Well, I had an idea to make it up to the staff.
	If you could organize a school play, then it could give the rest of the faculty some much needed time off, and more importantly show Chalmers what our school is made of.
	You want to give the entire faculty a vacation and have me organize a whole play by myself? Because I sold my magic wand to buy school supplies out-of-pocket.
	No, no, I don't expect you to do one thing! I expect you to get the parents involved and make THEM do it. It's called "parent participation" – it's all the rage at other schools.
File:Ms. Peyton Thinking Icon.png	Hmmm, parents...I can work with that. What kind of play did you have in mind?
	The only kind: old enough that the copyright's expired.

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	Thank you all for coming in at such short notice.
	I'm just glad this isn't about Bart! Or is it...?
	Yeah, 'cause if it is, we're not paying for another lawyer – he's gonna have to represent himself.
	This isn't about Bart. And if it was, I wouldn't have summoned every parent at the school.
	Hey, when this kid jumps, I'm required to ask "how high" and "what's the damage".
	That was pretty good, Homer.
	Thanks! Words are just flowing through me today. Maybe this intermittent fasting stuff's finally paying dividends.
	Eating between 8am and midnight isn't "intermittent fasting".
	Homer, do you actually think that's what "intermittent fasting" is?
	I can eat my way through half a fridge and two fully stocked pantries in the middle of the night... so, yeah, this fasting stuff has been a major sacrifice.
	Can we please speed this meeting up? I'm not allowed to keep meat or fish in my trunk for more than an hour when I'm delivering groceries.

A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 2[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	So here's the deal, parents: we have one week to transform Mark Twain's "Tom Sawyer" into the best musical that Springfield Elementary has ever staged.
	Mark Twain didn't write "Tom Sawyer" – it's a "Rush" song!
	Homer's right!
File:Homer & Wiggum Singing Icon.png	A MODERN-DAY WARRIOR / MEAN, MEAN STRIDE/ TODAY'S TOM SAWYER / MEAN, MEAN PRIDE
	Bands back then had so much drum...
	They did indeed, Homer. They did indeed.
	Look, you guys are all here today because we need your help to make this the best play our school has ever staged.
	So you're subcontracting your own job to us parents? What gives you the right?
	Yeah, does that mean we'll get a cut of the school budget or a chunk of your sweet teacher salary?
	No. It's not subcontracting, it's "parental participation".
	As for the budget, I can offer you all the leftover school pizza your hearts desire.
	I'm in! eats pizza
	Okay, so here's a stack of "Tom Sawyer: The Musical" scripts for you all to read.
	Why does it have to be "Tom Sawyer"? Shouldn't we...oh, I don't know, pick something less political?
	Political? Tom Sawyer is a cultural landmark.
	Its realistic depiction of ordinary American life remains a candid reflection of the complexities within our society then and now.
	It was just a suggestion...
	So, are you parents in for some "parent participation"?
	I'm in!
	Fine...I'm in.
	I'm in.
	Mmm...participation pizza!

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	So, do I have any volunteers for set design?
	I'd love to do set design!
	Wow, that was fast. Thanks Marge!
	Absolutely! And would you mind if I also handled all of the stage management and costuming, too?
	I don't want to come off too strong, but back in high school I was a pretty big deal as the theater class stage manager.
	I doubt any here would mind.

A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 3[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Bart! Lisa! Come downstairs, I've got news from school!
	If a wasp hive exploded in Skinner's office and/or car, I had no knowledge of it.
	No, it's not that! It's good news!
	Did the school finally accept my advanced curriculum proposal?
	Nope, something way better than that!
	Well now you're just hyping this up too much – it'll probably be a total let down.
	The school's putting on a play, and guess who's directing?
	Awesome. Now I'm betting one of us ends up as the lead, because that's our usual luck.
	Well, Bart, since you mentioned it...

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	The play we'll be putting on is a musical adaptation of Tom Sawyer.
	Wait, is that a thing that already exists or do we have to write a bunch of songs about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn?
	Shh, Lisa! If we don't ask those questions, we don't have to worry about answering them!
	I mean, that is kind of an important question that needs answering...
	Well, this isn't nepotism or anything, but I think Bart...
	Fine, fine, I'll play Tom Sawyer. I mean, it's sort of a role I was born to play.
File:Stage Manager Marge Deadpan Icon.png	I wish that wasn't the case, but it really is...

A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 4[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	So we are to be thespians? Delightful!
	If this play doesn't involve me pounding him, I'd rather go back to math.
	I'm going to be a tree!
	Thank you, children. Please sit down so we can talk about our play.
	We'll be performing a musical adaptation of Mark Twain's classic American story, Tom Sawyer.
	I'll play Tom Sawyer if Lisa's Becky!
	punches Milhouse Stop being a creep, Milhouse.
	Wait, a musical? Oh no, that's going to mean singing.
	And the costumes from that time period will not even be slightly cute.
	Here to help me explain our plans, let me welcome Marge Simpson, who will be helping out with our set design and costuming.
File:Stage Manager Marge Happy Icon.png	Hello, children!
	So, Marge, would you like to let everyone know who will be playing Tom Sawyer?
	My special guy, Bart Simpson!
	Haw-haw!
	And for the role of Huckleberry Finn, Nelson Muntz!
	Haw-Huck?!

End[]

Character	Dialogue
File:Martin Annoyed Icon.png	Bart's casting is clearly nepotism at work!
	Yeah, I don't even think Bart's even read Tom Sawyer! I mean, neither have I...
	I doubt that Bart could properly convey the complexities of Tom Sawyer's loss of innocence in the immoral world he's forced to navigate.
	I get to play a tree!
	Well, Marge, as Stage Manager, you get the fun and rewarding task of calming the kids down and preparing them for curtain call. I'm going to get a much-deserved massage.
	All right! Who wants to help build a set? No one? Because "no volunteers" means "all of you".
	Nicely done, I'm stealing that.

A Hard Play's Night, Pt. 5[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Peace and quiet. I'd forgotten what it felt like.
	Aye, lassie. 'Tis a good day, it is.
	bursts in They got him doing it all wrong!
	If this is about that play, I don't want to hear about it. That's a problem for the parents to deal with.
	No, it's not the play. It's that boy they have playing Tom Sawyer. He's doing the whitewashing and he's doing it all wrong!
	Bart Simpson. I should have known he'd muck up a simple task like that.
	When did we all start caring so much about painting?
	It doesn't matter. We spent the entire summer painting this godforsaken school.
	I know. We're practically experts.
	Let's BOMBARD him with some information! We're teachers, aren't we?
	Fine! If it'll make you all shut up, let's go teach Tom Sawyer the proper method of applying a consistent topcoat!

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	Down, then up! It's not rocket science!
	Sure, but you guys understand that this is a prop fence! It's made of cardboard.
	Respect the art of painting or no BOMBARDMENT all year!
	"No bombardment"? Sounds like a good deal.
	throws dodgeball BOMBARDMENT!
File:Martin Pained Icon.png	Ow!