A Fat Lot of Good

A Fat Lot of Good was a limited-time questline released on June 28, 2020. It was the main questline of Act 3 of the Game of Games The Sequel 2020 Event, progressing through it unlocked all of the Act's personal prizes. It was preceded by the quest Zero-G Whiz. It was succeeded by the quest To the Ends of the Earth.

Quests[]

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered by
A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 1	Collect Memory Cards (x175) Make Nelson Play Chunky Island*	- 4h	100 10	Auto
A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 2	Collect Memory Cards (x125) Make Martin Return Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge Make The Evergreen Terrors Share More Game Secrets (x3) Bart Milhouse Martin Nelson Sophie Krustofski	- 60m 2h	100 10	Auto
A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 3	Collect Memory Cards (x150) Make Nelson Roleplay as a Pirate* Make The Evergreen Terrors Look Up Pirate Lingo to Help (x3)	- 4h 4h	100 10	Auto
A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 4	Collect Memory Cards (x150) Make Martin Show the Others Where the Boat is Hidden	- 30m	100 10	Auto
A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 5	Collect Memory Cards (x125) Make Comic Book Guy Take the Kids Out for Pizza Make The Evergreen Terrors Go Out for Pizza (x4)	- 2h 2h	200 20	Auto

* Will only appear if the character is owned by the player.

Dialogue[]

A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 1[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Guys, I found another one of The Game Master’s high scores. It’s in Chunky Island.
	Isn’t that the adventure game where you play as a kid trying to escape fat camp?
	I read that the kids get separated from the camp counselors and have to fend for themselves.
	Like that book with the British kids stranded on an island. You know, the one whose name I can’t say because it hasn't yet entered public domain.
	Nelson, I think you should play Chunky Island.
	You calling me fat, Simpson?
	No…but you’re the only one of us who has any experience putting pig heads on spikes.
	Only because it makes them easier to carry home from the butcher shop.
	It’s the only pork my mom can afford.

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	Gah, this is impossible! Adventure games always have dumb puzzles and dumb hidden secrets and dumb…dumbness.
	There IS a home version of this game… We should go buy some copies and play it ourselves to help figure out the secrets.
	Toys Were Us is nearby. I just camped out there last night to buy up their first shipment of Pretty Horse Friends series three articulated figures.
	I got no sleep, had to pee in a Pringles can, and nearly lost a toe to frostbite!
	Worth it.

Unlocks Toys Were Us.

A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 2[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	I’m getting nowhere with this game. I’ve got forty-seven inventory items, there’s a rabid dog blocking that path, and over on the beach there’s some incomprehensible coconut tree puzzle.
	What about you guys? Have you found anything playing your home versions?
	I found this pulley thing in a tree stump near the salad bar. That MUST be important!
	I combined this cat hair with maple syrup and made a mustache. Do you need a mustache?
	I just sunk a fifty-footer from behind the sand trap!
	Martin, what game are you playing?
	Aren’t we all playing Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge?

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	Ugh, my mom wants me to come home. She says I’m wasting my precious summer vacation at the arcade.
	And apparently Child Protective Services requires that you “know where your child is”.

Unlocks Shower Computer.

A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 3[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Ugh, none of the kids on this island will do anything I say. How am I gonna get these fatties to work together?
	There must be some way you can assert your authority over them. Perhaps if you looked more like a leader…
	Uh, well I did find this pirate outfit in a buried treasure chest.
	Everyone listens to pirates. It’s why Johnny Depp can marry any supermodel he wants.
	Yar!

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	Okay, now click on that kid with the shirt that’s too small and select the dialogue option, “I’ll keelhaul the lot of ye if ye don’t get to lashin’ together a seaworthy vessel!”
	Wow, it’s working! He’s started building the raft! Who knew that maritime-based threats could be so effective?

Unlocks Pirate Nelson.

A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 4[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Alright, I had a bit of a late start but I believe that I’ve caught up to the rest of you in Chunky Island.
	Any insights?
	I have created a child utopia, free of adults, where all kids are treated equally and none are made fun of.
	How does that help us? The goal of the game is to get OFF the island!
	Oh, there’s a speedboat hidden in the skull-shaped cave off the north end of the island. But I choose to stay with my fellow compatriots.
	Martin, you realize Chunky Island is just a simulation, right?
	So is everything in our world! Haven’t you been paying attention?
	shrugs Fair enough…

End[]

“	Animated Job Unlocked!	”
	— System Message.

Unlocks Waterslide Tree with Take a Tropical Bath animated job for Martin.

A Fat Lot of Good Pt. 5[]

Start[]

Character	Dialogue
	Yar, ye scurvy dogs! Everyone on the boat before I hang ye from the mizzen!
	Wow, Nelson. You’ve really got a handle on those chunky kids.
	sails off into the sunset, watches the credits roll
	You did it! The Game Master never got this far, so you’re now at the top of the leaderboard!
	I haven’t been this proud of a group of kids since The Goonies.
	I’ll just add my name to the leaderboard, right above TGM.
	B- U- T.
	BUT? But what?
	I only get three letters. Just imagine another T.
	A hilarious reference to a taboo bodily region!
	You kids deserve a break. I’m taking you out for pizza!
	Note – I am NOT paying for the pizza. My pride has limits!

End[]

Character	Dialogue
	Heh, heh, heh… They think they’re so smart. Well they won’t see this coming…
	yelling from the other room Babe, you want some pizza rolls?
	Only if they’re from the toaster oven. NOT the microwave!
	The Game Master knows what he desires…
	Now...where was I? logs into Earthland Realms THUNDERCLAP
	yelling from the other room Babe, it sounds like rain! Are the lids on the trash cans?
	It’s not rain, it’s just me being ominous!

Gives 1 Game of Games The Sequel Mystery Box Token.