'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas was a limited-time questline released on December 5, 2018. It was the main questline of Act 1 of the A Simpsons Christmas Special 2018 Event, progressing through it unlocked all of the event's personal prizes. It was preceded by a short intro quest 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Intro.
Quests[]
| Quest | Requirements | Time | Reward | Triggered By |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1 | Make Skinner Brainstorm Moneymaking Schemes Make Homer Use a Saw Like a Hammer Collect Programs (x100) |
4h 4h - |
 100  10
|
Auto |
| 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2 | Build Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart (x3) Make Children Sell Chestnuts Collect Programs (x300) |
- 4h - |
100 10
|
Auto |
| 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3 | Make Lisa Ride the Carousel Make Ralph Ride the Carousel Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel Make Homer Ride the Carousel Collect Programs (x300) |
8h 8h 8h 8h - |
100 10
|
Auto |
| 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4 | Make Angel Lisa Give Proclamations on High Collect Programs (x300) |
4h - |
100 10
|
Auto |
| 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5 | Build Fair Booth (44) Make Lisa Setup Fair Booths Make Ralph Ride the Carousel Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel Make Homer Ride the Carousel Collect Programs (x300) |
8h 8h 8h 8h - |
100 10
|
Auto |
| 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6 | Make Children Act in an Ensemble | 12h | 200 20
|
Auto |
Dialogue[]
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Children, the play is canceled. We have no stage. And if I’m being honest, we never really found our Petey the Reluctant Elf, either. |
|
I’m doing the best I can. Petey is a complex character! |
|
We can’t give up! If we need more money to finish the stage, there must be a way to get it! |
|
Maybe we could hold a fundraiser. A winter carnival! |
|
Good thinking, Lisa! You truly are the hero of this story that you made up yourself. |
|
Now go fold some programs while I ponder Lisa’s amazing idea! |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Lisa, your upbeat problem-solving has truly saved the day. Hooray for Lisa! |
|
Oh, come on. Is this whole story nothing more than a love letter to yourself? |
|
It’s my story, I’ll tell it how I want. |
|
Sweetie, your brother’s right. For a story to be interesting, the hero needs to experience setbacks. |
|
*agreeing sucking noises* |
|
Well, I LIKE stories where I’m doing amazing things and everyone says how great I am. |
|
... |
|
Fine. One setback, coming up. |
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
I’ve found the perfect centerpiece for our winter carnival fundraiser -- a roasted chestnuts cart! |
|
|
Oh, how the children will line up for the earthy, mild flavor of warm chestnuts! |
|
Uh, kids today don't really think of chestnuts as “yummy”. Or even as “food”. |
|
Nonsense! Chewy, nondescript chestnuts are the ultimate holiday treat! |
|
We could coat them in sugar, I guess. And serve them on a bed of sugar, with sugar sauce on the side... |
|
|
Fine. Yes. Do that. And ruin my delightfully bland chestnuts. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
In a development no one could have possibly predicted, today’s children have zero interest in hot chestnuts. |
|
... |
|
|
It’s time to give the kids the Christmas treats they crave -- figgy pudding and steaming bowls of wassail. |
|
Sir, that’s a horrible idea. |
|
|
I’ve spent the last thirty Christmases alone with my elderly mother. I THINK I know what kids want! |
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Ralph, have you been working on your line for the play? |
|
I like pretending where I’m a Dracula driving a bulldozer. |
|
Me too, Ralph. Me too. But in THIS play, you’re playing a mouse, right? And when you come on stage, your line is...? |
|
|
“Hello! I have pointy teeth and a cape and have you seen my bulldozer?” |
|
Focus, Ralph! It’s a very important line. You explain the true meaning of Christm-- I mean, the Holidays -- to everyone. Try again... |
|
“A robber who doesn’t like Draculas stole my bulldozer and now I’m sad.” |
|
|
Okay, everybody. Take five. I need to think. Let’s all... ride the carousel... or something. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
This whole play is riding on Ralph! If he doesn’t explain the true meaning of the Holidays, it’s ruined! |
|
I’m confused. What exactly IS the meaning of the Holidays? |
|
|
I mean, I get what Christmas is about. But “the Holidays” just seems kind of... nonspecific. |
|
I’ve never been entirely clear on that, myself. Something about brotherhood and good will? |
|
|
No, that’s Christmas. |
|
|
It can be the meaning of non-denominational, inoffensive pseudo-celebrations as well! |
|
|
You know, we could just cancel the-- |
|
|
We’re not canceling the Holiday Thing! The holidays aren’t the same without the Thing! |
|
|
Let’s just do another dress rehearsal. I’m sure all our problems will be solved through some inexplicable, non-denominational holiday miracle. |
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Behold! An angel has appeared to tell us all the meaning of the Holidays! |
|
Lo! I bring tidings unto thee! But to clarify, I’m not comfortable with the word “angel”. Think of me as a non-religious “spirit”. |
|
So... you’re a g-g-g-g-ghost?! |
|
|
I’m a Dracula! |
|
Forget it. Call me an angel if it’s so important to you. Just shut up and harken to my stupid message of hope. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Hear me, Springfield! We celebrate the Holidays because on this day a child was born. |
|
|
A child who, depending on your belief system, was either the son of God, or a prophet, or just a really nice guy. |
|
|
And either to celebrate his birth, or because it’s Hanukkah, or maybe the Winter Solstice is important to you, we should all be nice to one another right now. |
|
|
That’s it! The angel has saved the play! She’s a hero! |
|
She sure is! What a gal, reminds me of that amazing sister of mine! |
|
Whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute. In what universe would I ever say anything nice about you? |
|
Yeah, I’m not buying it, Lis. |
|
|
It’s my story! Let me tell it how I want. |
|
Lisa, you can’t just change an established character’s personality whenever you want. It’s sloppy writing. |
|
|
The point of the story is, a holiday miracle saved the play. |
|
Phew. I am so relieved. I was really worried the boring children’s play would have to be cancelled. |
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Lisa, the play’s message has been saved, and it’s sure to be a colossal smash. But we still don’t have a stage. |
|
I’m working on it! |
|
|
Are you? |
|
|
No. But I AM swinging this hammer, which sure makes it LOOK like I’m working. To me, at least. |
|
|
Lisa, we need more money, which necessitates a large Christmas Market, which you are now in charge of setting up. |
|
Hah! That’ll teach that do-gooder to do good! |
|
So Little Miss Perfect gets her comeuppance. I take back what I said, Lisa. This is a great story! |
|
I know it’s a lot to ask, but you ARE, strangely, the only character in this tale with any intelligence. So... |
|
|
*sigh* Okay fine, I'll see what I can do. |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
Good news, I got the stage all fixed. I'll just be taking my last paycheck. |
|
|
He's lying! The stage has been fine all along, he's just been spending all our money on eggnog! |
|
*burp* I have no idea what he's *buuuurp* talking *buuuuuuuurp* about. |
|
|
The curtain goes up in five minutes, children. I hope you all remember your lines? |
|
|
Hello! I am not a Dracula, and I don’t have a bulldozer! |
|
|
Better, Ralph. Still terrible, but better. |
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Now Lisa, when we do our kiss scene, make sure you don’t get TOO caught up in it, okay? |
|
|
Because I have a feeling I’m a really good kisser. That’s what Puppy Goo Goo says. |
| File:Lisa Grossed out Icon.png | WHAT kiss scene? I’m playing a ballerina, and you’re a soldier. |
|
|
Love can blossom in the strangest places, huh? |
| File:Lisa Grossed out Icon.png | If you try to kiss me, I'll push you off the stage. |
|
|
How did you know that was one of my recurring nightmares?! |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
I declare Lisa’s Holiday Thing the finest theatrical event ever! |
|
|
Thank you all for your three-hour-long standing ovation. We owe everything to Lisa Simpson! Let’s hear it for her! |
|
|
Boo! Boooooo! |
|
Bart, be nice. The story’s almost over. It IS almost over, isn’t it, Lisa? |
|
No. Next, the play goes to Broadway, sweeps the Tonys and goes on tour. |
|
|
... |
|
|
...but I guess we can safely skip that part. |
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