'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas was a limited-time questline released on December 5, 2018. It was the main questline of Act 1 of the A Simpsons Christmas Special 2018 Event, progressing through it unlocked all of the event's personal prizes. It was preceded by a short intro quest 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Intro.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1 Make Skinner Brainstorm Moneymaking Schemes
Make Homer Use a Saw Like a Hammer
Collect Programs (x100)
4h
4h
-
Cash100
Experience10
Auto
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2 Build Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart (x3)
Make Children Sell Chestnuts
Collect Programs (x300)
-
4h
-
Cash100
Experience10
Auto
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3 Make Lisa Ride the Carousel
Make Ralph Ride the Carousel
Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel
Make Homer Ride the Carousel
Collect Programs (x300)
8h
8h
8h
8h
-
Cash100
Experience10
Auto
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4 Make Angel Lisa Give Proclamations on High
Collect Programs (x300)
4h
-
Cash100
Experience10
Auto
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5 Build Fair Booth (44)
Make Lisa Setup Fair Booths
Make Ralph Ride the Carousel
Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel
Make Homer Ride the Carousel
Collect Programs (x300)
8h
8h
8h
8h
-
Cash100
Experience10
Auto
'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6 Make Children Act in an Ensemble 12h Cash200
Experience20
Auto

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Skinner Sad Icon.png Children, the play is canceled. We have no stage. And if I’m being honest, we never really found our Petey the Reluctant Elf, either.
Milhouse Mad Icon.png I’m doing the best I can. Petey is a complex character!
Lisa Shocked Icon.png We can’t give up! If we need more money to finish the stage, there must be a way to get it!
Lisa Surprised Icon.png Maybe we could hold a fundraiser. A winter carnival!
Skinner Happy Icon.png Good thinking, Lisa! You truly are the hero of this story that you made up yourself.
Skinner Icon.png Now go fold some programs while I ponder Lisa’s amazing idea!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Skinner Happy Icon.png Lisa, your upbeat problem-solving has truly saved the day. Hooray for Lisa!
Bart Annoyed Icon.png Oh, come on. Is this whole story nothing more than a love letter to yourself?
Lisa Shouting Icon.png It’s my story, I’ll tell it how I want.
Marge Sad Icon.png Sweetie, your brother’s right. For a story to be interesting, the hero needs to experience setbacks.
Maggie Annoyed Icon.png *agreeing sucking noises*
Lisa Angry Icon.png Well, I LIKE stories where I’m doing amazing things and everyone says how great I am.
Marge Annoyed Icon.png ...
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Fine. One setback, coming up.

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Skinner Happy Icon.png I’ve found the perfect centerpiece for our winter carnival fundraiser -- a roasted chestnuts cart!
Skinner Happy Icon.png Oh, how the children will line up for the earthy, mild flavor of warm chestnuts!
Lisa Grossed Out Icon.png Uh, kids today don't really think of chestnuts as “yummy”. Or even as “food”.
Skinner Annoyed Icon.png Nonsense! Chewy, nondescript chestnuts are the ultimate holiday treat!
Lisa Curious Icon.png We could coat them in sugar, I guess. And serve them on a bed of sugar, with sugar sauce on the side...
Skinner Annoyed Icon.png Fine. Yes. Do that. And ruin my delightfully bland chestnuts.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Skinner Surprised Icon.png In a development no one could have possibly predicted, today’s children have zero interest in hot chestnuts.
Lisa Deadpan Icon.png ...
Skinner Happy Icon.png It’s time to give the kids the Christmas treats they crave -- figgy pudding and steaming bowls of wassail.
Lisa Nagging Icon.png Sir, that’s a horrible idea.
Skinner Annoyed Icon.png I’ve spent the last thirty Christmases alone with my elderly mother. I THINK I know what kids want!

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png Ralph, have you been working on your line for the play?
Ralph Happy Icon.png I like pretending where I’m a Dracula driving a bulldozer.
Lisa Embarrassed Icon.png Me too, Ralph. Me too. But in THIS play, you’re playing a mouse, right? And when you come on stage, your line is...?
Ralph Happy Icon.png “Hello! I have pointy teeth and a cape and have you seen my bulldozer?”
Lisa Worried Icon.png Focus, Ralph! It’s a very important line. You explain the true meaning of Christm-- I mean, the Holidays -- to everyone. Try again...
Ralph Sad Icon.png “A robber who doesn’t like Draculas stole my bulldozer and now I’m sad.”
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Okay, everybody. Take five. I need to think. Let’s all... ride the carousel... or something.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Worried Icon.png This whole play is riding on Ralph! If he doesn’t explain the true meaning of the Holidays, it’s ruined!
Skinner Puzzled Icon.png I’m confused. What exactly IS the meaning of the Holidays?
Skinner Puzzled Icon.png I mean, I get what Christmas is about. But “the Holidays” just seems kind of... nonspecific.
Lisa Confused Icon.png I’ve never been entirely clear on that, myself. Something about brotherhood and good will?
Skinner Puzzled Icon.png No, that’s Christmas.
Lisa Shouting Icon.png It can be the meaning of non-denominational, inoffensive pseudo-celebrations as well!
Skinner Surprised Icon.png You know, we could just cancel the--
Lisa Shouting Icon.png We’re not canceling the Holiday Thing! The holidays aren’t the same without the Thing!
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Let’s just do another dress rehearsal. I’m sure all our problems will be solved through some inexplicable, non-denominational holiday miracle.

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Milhouse Excited Icon.png Behold! An angel has appeared to tell us all the meaning of the Holidays!
x100px Lo! I bring tidings unto thee! But to clarify, I’m not comfortable with the word “angel”. Think of me as a non-religious “spirit”.
Milhouse Scared Icon.png So... you’re a g-g-g-g-ghost?!
Ralph Happy Icon.png I’m a Dracula!
x100px Forget it. Call me an angel if it’s so important to you. Just shut up and harken to my stupid message of hope.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
x100px Hear me, Springfield! We celebrate the Holidays because on this day a child was born.
x100px A child who, depending on your belief system, was either the son of God, or a prophet, or just a really nice guy.
x100px And either to celebrate his birth, or because it’s Hanukkah, or maybe the Winter Solstice is important to you, we should all be nice to one another right now.
Skinner Happy Icon.png That’s it! The angel has saved the play! She’s a hero!
Bart Happy Icon.png She sure is! What a gal, reminds me of that amazing sister of mine!
Bart Rollingeyes Icon.png Whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute. In what universe would I ever say anything nice about you?
Homer Confused Icon.png Yeah, I’m not buying it, Lis.
Lisa Shouting Icon.png It’s my story! Let me tell it how I want.
Marge Serious Icon.png Lisa, you can’t just change an established character’s personality whenever you want. It’s sloppy writing.
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png The point of the story is, a holiday miracle saved the play.
Bart Bored Icon.png Phew. I am so relieved. I was really worried the boring children’s play would have to be cancelled.

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Skinner Icon.png Lisa, the play’s message has been saved, and it’s sure to be a colossal smash. But we still don’t have a stage.
Homer Happy Icon.png I’m working on it!
Skinner Surprised Icon.png Are you?
Homer Happy Icon.png No. But I AM swinging this hammer, which sure makes it LOOK like I’m working. To me, at least.
Skinner Puzzled Icon.png Lisa, we need more money, which necessitates a large Christmas Market, which you are now in charge of setting up.
Bart Laughing Icon.png Hah! That’ll teach that do-gooder to do good!
Homer Laughing Icon.png So Little Miss Perfect gets her comeuppance. I take back what I said, Lisa. This is a great story!
Skinner Nervous Icon.png I know it’s a lot to ask, but you ARE, strangely, the only character in this tale with any intelligence. So...
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png *sigh* Okay fine, I'll see what I can do.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Cautious Icon.png Good news, I got the stage all fixed. I'll just be taking my last paycheck.
Milhouse Mad Icon.png He's lying! The stage has been fine all along, he's just been spending all our money on eggnog!
Homer Guilty Icon.png *burp* I have no idea what he's *buuuurp* talking *buuuuuuuurp* about.
Skinner Nervous Icon.png The curtain goes up in five minutes, children. I hope you all remember your lines?
Ralph Sad Icon.png Hello! I am not a Dracula, and I don’t have a bulldozer!
Skinner Annoyed Icon.png Better, Ralph. Still terrible, but better.

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Milhouse Excited Icon.png Now Lisa, when we do our kiss scene, make sure you don’t get TOO caught up in it, okay?
Milhouse Excited Icon.png Because I have a feeling I’m a really good kisser. That’s what Puppy Goo Goo says.
x100px WHAT kiss scene? I’m playing a ballerina, and you’re a soldier.
Milhouse Excited Icon.png Love can blossom in the strangest places, huh?
x100px If you try to kiss me, I'll push you off the stage.
Milhouse Scared Icon.png How did you know that was one of my recurring nightmares?!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sideshow Mel Happy Icon.png I declare Lisa’s Holiday Thing the finest theatrical event ever!
Skinner Happy Icon.png Thank you all for your three-hour-long standing ovation. We owe everything to Lisa Simpson! Let’s hear it for her!
Bart Annoyed Icon.png Boo! Boooooo!
Marge Nervous Icon.png Bart, be nice. The story’s almost over. It IS almost over, isn’t it, Lisa?
Lisa Happy Icon.png No. Next, the play goes to Broadway, sweeps the Tonys and goes on tour.
Marge Sad Icon.png ...
Lisa Nagging Icon.png ...but I guess we can safely skip that part.
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