Talk:Christmas 2014 Event/@comment-66.61.82.194-20150113155927

BREAKING NEWS! Exclusive to The Springfield Shopper  By W.T. Fuchs

The confusion mounting over the closing of the Winter 2014 Simpson's Tapped Out Event (See yesterday's article "What is this S***?  Depends." in which we reported on the discepancy between the two countdown clocks, EA announced this morning that it had mananged the situation by hiring infamous Olympic basketball timekeeping mastermind William Jones.

When asked to respond to the fact that Jones has in fact been dead since 1981, representatives close to EA CEO Andrew Wilson said that "being brain dead has never been a disqualification for being a member of the Tapped Out project team.  If you think it is, you've haven't been playing the game long enough." The company contact then broke off the coversation, saying that it would cost 120 donuts for further information.

In the press release, Jones is quoted as paraphrasing intellectual stalwart Yogi Berra:  "Games are just that way.  It's never over 'til...well...ummm...we're working on it."